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Will I considered rude if I knit at AA meeting?

Old 12-17-2017, 09:29 AM
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When I attended inpatient rehab I would say over 50% of the population was knitting or making these woven bracelets during meetings/sessions/groups etc.

I think a lot of people who are in recovery find using their hands to be a self soothing activity. I have noticed that I actually retain more information when I am using my hands in repetitive movements like weeding or painting, it almost puts me in a trance.

One can listen attentively while knitting, but certainly not while texting. I don't knit but I think someone knitting in a group actually brings a feeling of comfort.
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Old 12-17-2017, 09:49 AM
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Interesting.

I guess it begs the question: "what is rudeness?"

We all come from different countries, thus different cultures and traditions, different social norms, different languages.....(English has one form for "you", latin language have at least 2....Spanish for example has four you plural and singular and formal and informal.....use the wrong one and......)

I believe if you ask 20 people what "to be rude" means, you would get maybe similar but somewhat different slants on what it means....ie there is no "universal rule"

I like this definition/interpretation: "when there is a disparity between expected behavior and received behavior, the perception of rudeness can be found (within the gap/distance)"

In other words, I believe if our intentions are good.......it's out of our hands how the other person interprets this. All we can do is remain authentic.......if the person with whom I am facing finds that rude or offensive, what can I do.

For example, about two weeks ago.....I was asked for money.........now I never ask anybody for money and I (normally) never lend money. I was asked this by the person who supplied me (or was a link) to drugs......I knew she was skimming off the top, but I let it slide out of charity? or goodness of my heart? or because I am weak? Anyway, I was giving her cash to buy and it was more than the cost and she was saying nothing (I'm talking about a tenner) so I knew she was getting her two daughters food......what do I care? two girls are in their twenties but have always been kind to me (so to speak)

anyway, she has never DIRECTLY asked me for money. Until the other day......and you know what? I gave it reluctantly.........I don't like people asking me indirectly....and you know what I said ? I said "here no worries" and she said "listen i will pay you back"......and I said "nah forget about it....it's christmas (me joking) get fed fvck it"

I went back again and there was a character there and guess what....

"rich people look down there nose at other people"

WTF? oh thank you I am rich and made of money?

You see even when you do a favor for someone......they can take it as condescending ........

I tried to be super nice and a cool guy to help a girl with two daughters and they thought I was being condescending...

you cannot control what other people think of you
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Old 12-17-2017, 10:09 AM
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Never went to an AA meeting nor do I knit, but it would seem that if someone is presumably pouring their heart out about their troubles, that 100% undivided attention would be considerate.
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Old 12-17-2017, 10:19 AM
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Would I knit in school? High school?
College?

Going to AA meetings is similar to
going to school where i am there to
listen, learn, absorb many important
lessons, suggestions to apply in my
everyday life.

If i showed up to math, science class
with a knitting project, id surely be
asked to put it away or sent to the
principles office.

I often took my AA Big Book or Step
Study book and used a highlighter or
pencil to underline or write notes of
importance while listening to those
sharing or referring to certain pages
or lines in those books.

One hour of my time in those meetings
meant me taking advantage of learning
how to remain sober and applying steps
in my everyday life.

The willingness and openmindedness
to listen intentively is important in my
honest opinion.

Knitting would definitely keep me
from focusing on what's so important.
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Old 12-17-2017, 10:19 AM
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Some will think yes. Some will think no.

Everyone will be presented with the same lesson. The take away will vary with the individual.

For me, I would hope to deeply explore why my reaction was what it was, because my reaction is a window of opportunity.
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Old 12-17-2017, 10:36 AM
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What about I bring my drone .
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Old 12-17-2017, 10:42 AM
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Originally Posted by dcg View Post
Never went to an AA meeting nor do I knit, but it would seem that if someone is presumably pouring their heart out about their troubles, that 100% undivided attention would be considerate.
exactly
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Old 12-17-2017, 10:44 AM
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Originally Posted by hpdw View Post
What about I bring my drone .
Thanks for the scenario. Interesting! Good mind food. I appreciate it.
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Old 12-17-2017, 11:07 AM
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Never went to an AA meeting nor do I knit, but it would seem that if someone is presumably pouring their heart out about their troubles, that 100% undivided attention would be considerate.
One of my character defects is that I am incapable of giving 100% undivided attention because my mind keeps starying back to it's favorite topic "me". :~)
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Old 12-17-2017, 11:35 AM
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
nnnnaaa. not hard at all.
i have a lot of woodworking to finish up before christmas.
i wouldnt do it in a meeting. i wouldnt sit in a meeting sanding on a project.
Top 5 things not to do at an AA meeting:

1) Practice your drum solo
2) Do vocal exercises for your community theater part
3) Operate heavy machinery
4) Anything NSFW
5) Watch the financial channel on your cell phone...with sound
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Old 12-17-2017, 11:48 AM
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I don't have an opinion about this really... but I just wanted to say that i was at an AA meeting yesterday, and a lady was knitting there!
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Old 12-17-2017, 12:09 PM
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Thanks everyone! I find knitting to be very relaxing. I'm a loom knitter, so it does not take much concentration at all. I sat with my sponsor and another lady who both knit at a meeting earlier. They did not think it would be rude. I knitted during the meeting (until I ran out of yarn! LOL) and I enjoyed it. I also do not think it's even close to "playing" on your phone or wood working, so I think I will just continue to do it.
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Old 12-17-2017, 12:29 PM
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Originally Posted by IsadoraBailey View Post
I have a lot of knitting to finish up for Christmas and I'm wondering if it would be rude of me to knit in AA meetings.
Other than it being REALLY dorky, I would have no problem with it.

Just kidding.
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Old 12-17-2017, 01:39 PM
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I have never seen anybody knitting,but an old timer I know said it was common in the meetings years ago.

I love knitting,but I would never knit in a meeting,to me it would appear bad manners.q
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Old 12-17-2017, 02:06 PM
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Wouldn't bother me at all,but I'm not sure how large/close your meeting(s) are. I attend a small 8-15 person meeting so everything is seen. The only thing I'd be concerned about is the newcomers thinking you didn't 'care that they were there and sharing' and then not returning. Every meeting is different though.. I stare at holes in the ceiling a lot because I start to lose focus after an 'old timer' tells the same story daily. .
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Old 12-17-2017, 03:23 PM
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For the pro-knitters, would you be fine if every single person in the meeting was knitting (besides the person sharing)?

I had a casual conversation once with a lady who was knitting. She had it down, so she could look at me and pay attention to what I was saying. It was super distracting, as well as awkward, watching her hands going 100mph while she'd stare at me. She would stop when she was talking and when I was answering her question, zip, swish, zing... annoying! But maybe that's just me.
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Old 12-17-2017, 04:50 PM
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I have AA books/literature on my phone and refer to them often during meeting. Occasionally I text.

In an AA documentary there was a group early on that served beer. I think it was in Florida, as I recall. That was prior to the traditions being written.

I don't knit, but I do slouch - fidget, chuckle and meditate during meetings.

Keep coming back.....
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Old 12-17-2017, 05:15 PM
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Meditating during a meeting? I guess my image of AA from movies and what not are really far off.
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Old 12-17-2017, 06:21 PM
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How about asking if they would mind? Just a thought
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Old 12-17-2017, 07:58 PM
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Originally Posted by dcg View Post
Meditating during a meeting? I guess my image of AA from movies and what not are really far off.
Consider a visit - bring a friend!
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