Interesting.
I guess it begs the question: "what is rudeness?"
We all come from different countries, thus different cultures and traditions, different social norms, different languages.....(English has one form for "you", latin language have at least 2....Spanish for example has four you plural and singular and formal and informal.....use the wrong one and......)
I believe if you ask 20 people what "to be rude" means, you would get maybe similar but somewhat different slants on what it means....ie there is no "universal rule"
I like this definition/interpretation: "when there is a disparity between expected behavior and received behavior, the perception of rudeness can be found (within the gap/distance)"
In other words, I believe if our intentions are good.......it's out of our hands how the other person interprets this. All we can do is remain authentic.......if the person with whom I am facing finds that rude or offensive, what can I do.
For example, about two weeks ago.....I was asked for money.........now I never ask anybody for money and I (normally) never lend money. I was asked this by the person who supplied me (or was a link) to drugs......I knew she was skimming off the top, but I let it slide out of charity? or goodness of my heart? or because I am weak? Anyway, I was giving her cash to buy and it was more than the cost and she was saying nothing (I'm talking about a tenner) so I knew she was getting her two daughters food......what do I care? two girls are in their twenties but have always been kind to me (so to speak)
anyway, she has never DIRECTLY asked me for money. Until the other day......and you know what? I gave it reluctantly.........I don't like people asking me indirectly....and you know what I said ? I said "here no worries" and she said "listen i will pay you back"......and I said "nah forget about it....it's christmas (me joking) get fed fvck it"
I went back again and there was a character there and guess what....
"rich people look down there nose at other people"
WTF? oh thank you I am rich and made of money?
You see even when you do a favor for someone......they can take it as condescending ........
I tried to be super nice and a cool guy to help a girl with two daughters and they thought I was being condescending...
you cannot control what other people think of you