Pajanickah

I'm very happy for You! We really need to stick around this website.

ScottFromWI

There could be a whole host of reasons causing this, mental and physical but it does not seem "normal" to me, no. Looking back at your posts over the past year it appears you've had several bad WD's and needed medical attention as a result, correct? Since WD's generally get worse subesquent times, you should probably consider getting some help, don't you think?

Pajanickah

Right now not so overwhelming. I'm just really annoyed with the sensitivity to light and my stomach in so much pain. I don't understand why I keep playing with fire. I really don't want to take a Benzo as I have been off of them for 4 months. I've defiantly felt worse. But trust me, I will go if they get scarier. The food seems to be helping.

ScottFromWI

My guess is because you are an Alcoholic like the rest of us. And really, there is no answer as to "WHY" we are this way - we just have to accept that we are. And then figure out a plan as to how we will change our lives to live without alcohol.

But right now your focus needs to be on staying safe during initial WD's - does anyone nearby know that you've quit if you need assistance?

Pajanickah

I'm having a neighbor whom I worked with check on me and I'm constantly on the phone with another friend. People know what's going on. Especially everyone I worked with.

ScottFromWI

That is good, glad to hear you are seeking help locally too.

Pajanickah

People just feel bad for me. I really liked this job and they liked me as well. However I ruined another job by drinking. I'm scared to see or talk to anyone from there? They are constantly texting me asking if I'm okay and if I need anything at all. It's super embarrassing and I really tried to keep it out of their knowledge. When push came to shove, I had to get honest.

Pajanickah

So I feel about 20% better at 20 hours. Really trying to keep my mind clear and not beat myself up. What's done is done. It's in God's hands now. It might be what's best and I'll find a new job that I may love. Just took another shower because my skins so clammy. A shower always makes me calmer. Airing out my house and make a point to pick one thing up whenever I get up. Sorry I'm posting so much, I just need some sort of place to vent. It really helps with my anxiety. Food seems to have done really well for me, but I feel like I have vertigo.

scarly

Maybe you should go to the ER. They could help you get through the dangerous parts of detox. AND make it way more comfortable. Alcohol detox and withdrawal can be life-threatening....

Pajanickah

So I'm officially over the 24 hour hump. My head is just meh and the sensitivity to light is killing me. I'm gonna try to make it to midnight, but I hate nights, especially on Day 1. Hope I sleep tonight. I think I'm gonna take another shower too cause I feel disgusting again. So yay another Day 1 down.

Dee74

Welcome back Pajanickah - I'm sorry for everything thats happened but you really needn't ever feel this way again.

Make a plan - and live it.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

As far as the job goes sounds like the only thing stopping you from going back is your pride.

Without a job your inner addict reckons it has a good chance of getting. you back into daily drinking.

Think about it.
You clearly have support there.

Make a change there too.

Be responsible for your actions, face your mistakes and walk back in.

At least discuss it with your boss or whoever..

Walk tall.

D

Pajanickah

He told me to call him when i was ready to come back, but if i smelled like alcohol ever, I will be fired immediately. I was extremely honest with him, because they were trying to blame it on another person they thought were drinking. I'm defiantly gonna go out immediately to find a job, I wanna get out of the restaurant industry as it is filled with addicts. So we'll see. If I don't find a job say by next Thursday, I will go back.

Verdantia

Hey, Pajan-withdrawals are utterly horrible, but you can get through it and never have to feel this way again. I had alcoholic hallucinosis and seizures, so please call an ambulance if you start to feel very ill. Eating something is good, and Gatorade type drinks help. Try taking some B vitamins, particularly thiamine; alcohol depletes them from our bodies. Watch some mindless TV for distraction and fight through. I wish you lots of strength and peace-you can do this.

Pajanickah

Alright. Day 2, 40 hours in. Had the typical night sweats and weird dreams, but I expected that. Was able to sleep pretty well. Took an hour to fall asleep, but I was able to do it. I've never really had an issue with sleep except for my first two withdrawals. All and all I feel a lot better. I'd say maybe 60%. Still anxiety, still stomach pain, still feel dry inside, but the damn eye thing subsided. Thats whatnscared me.the most because the first time I ever did a withdrawal they eye thing stuck around for 5 days and I didn't sleep for five days and ultimately started going through severe hallucinations for 3 days and being admitted to a psych ward. That was my most horrible withdrawal. Staying sober today, gotta get laundry done and do a little more cleaning from my binge so, wish me luck.

bossybutt

Yep I have vision problems too. Very jumpy out of peripheral vision too

Dee74

How are things now Pajanickah?
D