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Any SAHM?

Old 12-05-2017, 09:56 AM
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Any SAHM?

Hi guys, still not giving up on staying sober.. still trying hard, had a recent fail. So here we go. Day 1 again, I know a lot of you can relate. But I still feel like a failure.

I'm finding a big struggle is that I am a stay at home mom. I used to work full time, still had issues with alcohol but st least I was busy 40 plus hours a week.

Now I'm just home watching the clock, and thinking about not drinking. My husband works very hard so I don't have to work and be home. But sometimes I wish I did work.

Don't get me wrong, I am beyond grateful to be able to be home and to watch my kids grow up... but it can also be very lonely (in terms of adult interaction) and mentally exhausting. Which then ...for me, leads to a drink at lunch... and you guys know the cycle
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Old 12-05-2017, 10:59 AM
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i'm also a stay at home mom who can relate to all of this. it's so difficult to not drink after a very stressful day with two hyperactive children & no time for myself to do healthy things.
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Old 12-05-2017, 11:05 AM
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Welcome back darlad, glad you are giving this another try. I am not a stay at home mom, but I did the majority of my drinking at home.

The thing about alcoholism is that it manifests itself everywhere/all the time. Have you ever heard the saying "Wherever you go, There you are."? Sometimes it seems like if we had a different job, or moved to a different city, or had different living situation that getting sober would be a lot easier. Unfortunately, that's not the case - there are just as many alcoholics who work outside the home as there are those who stay at home.

What you CAN do is tailor a plan that works for your situation. There are a lot of things you could do from home that would help you stay sober - joining a class thread here or doing online meeting would be a great start. Getting rid of all the alcohol at your house would help too. Making simple plan for your day that does not include drinking under any circumstances also can help. Write it down if you have to...even simple things like taking a walk or reading a book can take up the time in your day.
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Old 12-05-2017, 11:13 AM
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Darlad921 I really do understand. I was always very career driven until I had my first child 15 years ago and gave up work. Coupled with post natal depression the whole enormity of it hit me and I turned to drink. Looking back being a SAHM didn't suit me and I do believe I'm a better mum now that I work. I am in no way judging anyone else's lifestyle choice. What works for one doesn't necessarily work for another. I just found that for me being at home with babies was an utterly lonely existence and I did go down the route of drinking my loneliness and anxiety away.
Even so I only really returned to work through necessity for the money after I separated from my now ex husband. I am lucky in that I now work school hours 4 days a week so can balance being a mum and my job. Whether or not you need the income there is no shame in needing that structure and fulfilment for yourself. Hand on heart I don't think I'd be sober right now if I didn't work.
The priority is (in my opinion) getting sober and living a balanced and fulfilling life without alcohol. Can you talk to your husband openly? He may surprise you and be a great support.
It is great that you have found this forum where if nothing else you have an online support network every day. I make sure I post daily and interact as much as I can. I class my time on SR as "me time" and wouldn't be without it. Take care and keep posting xxx
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Old 12-05-2017, 11:33 AM
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Yep I’m a SAHM too.
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Old 12-05-2017, 11:44 AM
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Darlad, I was a SAHM, but thankfully that was long before my drinking days. It can be a very hard job, and isolating at times, but maybe you can make some choices that will help. Does your community have any kind of Drop-In Centre for Moms & kids, maybe at a local community centre? In the community I live in now, I see several groups of Moms getting together for coffee in the mornings, which would be a great support. I depended on Library programs for kids which were a great help for me, even to get a break of half an hour or so.
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Old 12-05-2017, 11:50 AM
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I stayed home for three years. It was horrible for my drinking, I occasionally day drank.

That was many moons ago, but I have a friend, I don't know if this is of interest to you, she has one of those buy and sell sites, she started it because she has three boys, so she sells her stuff and buys other people's stuff. It keeps her busy.
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