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Old 12-03-2017, 01:28 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Ghost of Christmas past


Hiya, Iíve not posted in a while, but whilst Iím enjoying my sobriety, Iíve been thinking of what place I was in last Christmas. Iím struggling with shame, guilt and disgust when I remember all the sneaking around drinking bottles of wine in the morning to be able to face the family. How was that me? How selfish was I being? How ill must I have been? Sorry I just needed to post this. Phew writing makes it feel less powerful.
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Old 12-03-2017, 02:38 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Good to hear from you sadsadgirl.

I had that too, but with each Xmas that passed I made new sober memories - you will too

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Old 12-03-2017, 02:40 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I'm glad you're doing well. Give yourself credit for how far you've come in this journey.
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Old 12-03-2017, 03:13 PM   #4 (permalink)
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You should feel more powerful. You came from place we've all been. Now it's time to move ahead and live a more fruitful life.
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Old 12-03-2017, 03:35 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sadsadgirl View Post
Hiya, Iíve not posted in a while, but whilst Iím enjoying my sobriety, Iíve been thinking of what place I was in last Christmas. Iím struggling with shame, guilt and disgust when I remember all the sneaking around drinking bottles of wine in the morning to be able to face the family. How was that me? How selfish was I being? How ill must I have been? Sorry I just needed to post this. Phew writing makes it feel less powerful.
I can relate. My sobriety date is 12-28. After a hellacious binge of a Christmas of chaos. The first year anniversary was a mixed bag of gratitude and relived shame. This year will be 4 years and thereís no shame. Itís a celebration.

Use it as an opportunity to practice self forgiveness and to reflect on gratitude for being in a much, much better place.
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Old 12-03-2017, 07:07 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Good for you Sadsadgirl! Last Christmas Eve I got drunk at our family party, then my friends and I went to a bar....the last thing I remember is discovering that the juke box accepted debit cards....I still don't know how much $ I spent...

Looking forward to a much better outcome this time around!
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Old 12-03-2017, 11:50 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I can so relate. So many Christmases drunk and making a fool of myselove. Not even just Christmas but the whole month of December. Works Xmas lunches party then Christmas at family home making a complete fool of myself.

Thanks for starting this thread. It's good for me to reflect on so many bad times but also 3 sober Christmas es I had before I picked up again.

Here's to a sober 2017. ☺
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Old 12-04-2017, 02:09 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Thank you for this reminder of how it was last year , I love your positive post .

Last year for me was probably the worst Christmas of my life .
I was in bad withdrawals ,my brother was dying ( 29th Dec 2016) .
I remember sitting at dinner feeling so bad .

SO it,s a million miles away from that this year .

Have a brilliant Christmas

Oh and I think sadsadgirl should be happyhappy girl
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Old 12-04-2017, 04:53 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I’m struggling with shame, guilt and disgust when I remember all the sneaking around drinking bottles of wine in the morning to be able to face the family.

have ya changed since then- changed for the better?
if so, then drop the guilt. toss out the ass kikin machine- you werent a bad woman,just a sick one back then. bad people dont feel shame and guilt over their past. sick people do.
and now your not that person any more.
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Old 12-04-2017, 07:23 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I,m hearing ya tomsteve if I may jump in to sadsadgirls thread .
Guilt can hang around me too and I too need the ass kikin wellington tossed in the canal .

Guilt is, first and foremost, an emotion. You may think of guilt as a good way to get someone to do something for you out of a sense of obligation. Guilt is not a very good motivator. It's more accurate to think of guilt as an internal state. In the overall scheme of emotions, guilt is in the general category of negative feeling states. It’s one of the “sad” emotions, which also include agony, grief, and loneliness ...... Susan Krauss Whitbourne .
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