Just days away from 6 months and I fail
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Definitely happened to me, too - out of nowhere. Several times. In spite of that, I now have nearly 10 yrs. sober. You can, and will, reclaim your sober life. Sending love to you, Mera.
EnjoyingTheJourney
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 3,847
Originally Posted by Meraviglioso 
I would have had 6 months sober on the 24th of this month. What a waste.
You encourage so many who slip. Please look at yourself with the same compassion.
Sending you a Big Hug! Please check in and let us know how you are doing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hi everyone and thank you for taking the time to write kind messages of support.
I am ok today, a really big bruised ego though. I did go to the hospital yesterday. I am considering going back to rehab just to show how much this means to me. I absolutely don't want to drink right now, I don't but I feel like if I go to rehab it will show those around me I am serious about this.
I am ok today, a really big bruised ego though. I did go to the hospital yesterday. I am considering going back to rehab just to show how much this means to me. I absolutely don't want to drink right now, I don't but I feel like if I go to rehab it will show those around me I am serious about this.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Go back to rehab by all means if you think it will help - but do it for yourself ... not simply to show other people that you're 'serious about this'.
I'm a big believer in actions over words. You made a mistake but you can turn that mistake in something positive and recovery affirming - why not get rid of all the alcohol in your house, for example, and create good non alcoholic Italian meals - experiment with other flavours, other ingredients.
You might be one of the few continental cooks out there doing something like that?
The other things that need action are not as interesting but they need to be done too.
You need a recovery plan - you need to know how to respond when the madness comes upon you.
You need people to call and ask for help and you need strategies that will keep you sober.
I won't give you the recovery plan links again as I'm sure you've read them - but you need to not only make a plan, you need to use it too
I've been sober now for over 10 years and it's not by luck, it consistency and sometimes hard work...
although I'm not in danger of drinking again, I sometimes can get overwhelmed or scared or anxious - and thats when I know the rabbit hole beckons...
I still have to work hard to stop myself falling back down the rabbit hole, because frankly I have no idea where that might lead to.
D
I'm a big believer in actions over words. You made a mistake but you can turn that mistake in something positive and recovery affirming - why not get rid of all the alcohol in your house, for example, and create good non alcoholic Italian meals - experiment with other flavours, other ingredients.
You might be one of the few continental cooks out there doing something like that?
The other things that need action are not as interesting but they need to be done too.
You need a recovery plan - you need to know how to respond when the madness comes upon you.
You need people to call and ask for help and you need strategies that will keep you sober.
I won't give you the recovery plan links again as I'm sure you've read them - but you need to not only make a plan, you need to use it too
I've been sober now for over 10 years and it's not by luck, it consistency and sometimes hard work...
although I'm not in danger of drinking again, I sometimes can get overwhelmed or scared or anxious - and thats when I know the rabbit hole beckons...
I still have to work hard to stop myself falling back down the rabbit hole, because frankly I have no idea where that might lead to.
D
Last edited by Dee74; 09-22-2017 at 02:53 AM.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
I hope you won't think of the entire last six months as a waste! You have has some smashing success with one little setback. I don't want to minimize your slip but that's just one day out of 175! Give yourself permission to be human...then get back on the horse!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
To learn how to be successful in my
own recovery, I had to have my ego,
squash it and get down off my high
horse and learn how to become humble
in all my affairs.
My family placed me into the hands
of those capable of teaching me about
my addiction and teach me a recovery
program to incorporate in all areas of
my life and daily situations.
A 28 rehab stay set me on a recovery
path and once I was released then it
became my responsibility to take what
was taught to me and apply it to my
life moving forward.
No one in my family understood addiction
nor recovery because none had addiction
problems, so I was on my own to do the
foot work and stay connected to my recovery
lifeline that has allowed me to remain sober
a number of one days sober for yrs.
I realized that no one was gonna keep
me sober but me. Even tho I felt I needed
to prove I could and would remain sober
to my family who placed me in rehab, it
became clearer over time that I needed
and wanted to stay sober for me and no
one else.
I wanted serenity, peace of mind,
calm in the storms of life , sobriety and
recovery more so than ever and all those
promises and gifts that come with remaining
sober each day.
Humility plays a huge part in my
recovery and it has to be practiced
on a daily bases. It allows me to remember,
I'm not in charge and that I need to rely
on my Faith and my recovery program
as a guideline in helping me achieve
health, happiness and honesty in all
my affairs.
Of course this is what has and still
works for me with continued maintenance
on myself and recovery/sobriety on
a daily bases.
own recovery, I had to have my ego,
squash it and get down off my high
horse and learn how to become humble
in all my affairs.
My family placed me into the hands
of those capable of teaching me about
my addiction and teach me a recovery
program to incorporate in all areas of
my life and daily situations.
A 28 rehab stay set me on a recovery
path and once I was released then it
became my responsibility to take what
was taught to me and apply it to my
life moving forward.
No one in my family understood addiction
nor recovery because none had addiction
problems, so I was on my own to do the
foot work and stay connected to my recovery
lifeline that has allowed me to remain sober
a number of one days sober for yrs.
I realized that no one was gonna keep
me sober but me. Even tho I felt I needed
to prove I could and would remain sober
to my family who placed me in rehab, it
became clearer over time that I needed
and wanted to stay sober for me and no
one else.
I wanted serenity, peace of mind,
calm in the storms of life , sobriety and
recovery more so than ever and all those
promises and gifts that come with remaining
sober each day.
Humility plays a huge part in my
recovery and it has to be practiced
on a daily bases. It allows me to remember,
I'm not in charge and that I need to rely
on my Faith and my recovery program
as a guideline in helping me achieve
health, happiness and honesty in all
my affairs.
Of course this is what has and still
works for me with continued maintenance
on myself and recovery/sobriety on
a daily bases.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Mera, I think going back to rehab to show others how serious you are would be doing it for the wrong reason.
If you go back to rehab, do it for yourself.
And, I don't want to offend, but I will state the obvious. I couldn't have remained sober if I had alcohol in the house. Cooking with alcohol is unnecessary and dangerous for an alcoholic.
I know you feel bad and I also know you can get back into your recovery. As Dee said, consistency is so important.
If you go back to rehab, do it for yourself.
And, I don't want to offend, but I will state the obvious. I couldn't have remained sober if I had alcohol in the house. Cooking with alcohol is unnecessary and dangerous for an alcoholic.
I know you feel bad and I also know you can get back into your recovery. As Dee said, consistency is so important.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Hi Mera!
Hope you threw out all the booze and pills if you had any.. Hope you got a good doc pending your visit to the rehab (great idea going back there!). It's not Day 1 all over again for you. You slipped while getting a good way up the Recovery Cliff and caught yourself. Now continue your upward journey. You already have others on the rope. That's all of us on SR. Keep posting. We've been there. I now have 29 sobriety years. Lots of anxiety in the past month. Household guests, family and health issues. Potential melanoma of the left heel. Surgery soon in Boston. Throughout all of this absolutely no thoughts of drinking. Have a very supportive doctor. A very caring dog who has all four feet on the ground. Craves only dog biscuits. Is addicted to them.
Every good wish.
Fondly
Bill
Hope you threw out all the booze and pills if you had any.. Hope you got a good doc pending your visit to the rehab (great idea going back there!). It's not Day 1 all over again for you. You slipped while getting a good way up the Recovery Cliff and caught yourself. Now continue your upward journey. You already have others on the rope. That's all of us on SR. Keep posting. We've been there. I now have 29 sobriety years. Lots of anxiety in the past month. Household guests, family and health issues. Potential melanoma of the left heel. Surgery soon in Boston. Throughout all of this absolutely no thoughts of drinking. Have a very supportive doctor. A very caring dog who has all four feet on the ground. Craves only dog biscuits. Is addicted to them.
Every good wish.
Fondly
Bill
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Mera,
I hope you are doing okay? A bruised ego is just that, a bruised ego. The good things about bruises is that they heal up rather quickly.
I am proud of you. The steps you took by getting on here and posting that you needed help is amazing. You can and will get back on track. You have not lost your sober time. Its a bump in the road and one that can be remedied. Please give yourself as much love and respect as you would give anyone else.
Hugs to you, Mera!
I hope you are doing okay? A bruised ego is just that, a bruised ego. The good things about bruises is that they heal up rather quickly.
I am proud of you. The steps you took by getting on here and posting that you needed help is amazing. You can and will get back on track. You have not lost your sober time. Its a bump in the road and one that can be remedied. Please give yourself as much love and respect as you would give anyone else.
Hugs to you, Mera!
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by Mizzuno
A bruised ego is just that, a bruised ego. The good things about bruises is that they heal up rather quickly.
Looked at another way though, it's a shame that my ego is so quick to grow back. Knowing that in mere moments the device that convinced me it was ok to take a drink, toss my sobriety out the window, get me to believe it will all be cool this time, and possibly even kill me will be back at full strength once again is perhaps more of a warning than a good thing.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 119
Hi Mera,
I am close to six months too and for the first time in awhile, I felt tempted today. That is why I came online. So I empathize with you and could see myself doing the same thing. Don't give up. Alcohol is baffling and a trickster. You can start again and everything you have learned so far wiill help you battle. Don't let alcohol cause you to take your life...don't give it that power. You got this ..someday you could look back at this moment in your life as the moment where you realized you have everything to live for and alcohol tried to trick you into thinking you didn't. You kick that lying voice right in its butt, shake yourself off and carry on knowing you got the people here as support! You really can do it.
I am close to six months too and for the first time in awhile, I felt tempted today. That is why I came online. So I empathize with you and could see myself doing the same thing. Don't give up. Alcohol is baffling and a trickster. You can start again and everything you have learned so far wiill help you battle. Don't let alcohol cause you to take your life...don't give it that power. You got this ..someday you could look back at this moment in your life as the moment where you realized you have everything to live for and alcohol tried to trick you into thinking you didn't. You kick that lying voice right in its butt, shake yourself off and carry on knowing you got the people here as support! You really can do it.
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