WEEKENDERS - Running the Weekend Gauntlett 8-10th Sept
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 39
Originally Posted by DesertDawg 
Thanks for another thought-provoking post Sao. The old "it's Friday, it's been a tough week, time to toss back a few and blow off some steam." And if I'm honest, that probably worked fine for most people, including many friends of mine...they woke up Saturday feeling a bit off, and wisely reined themselves in for the rest of the weekend. Unfortunately--and despite mountains of evidence to the contrary--it took me years to realize that I wasn't "most people." I woke up Saturday, feeling badly, and "Hey! no need to be at work, let's have a drink!" Thus Saturday evaporated into a boozy ether which lasted the entire weekend. I would emerge from the fog Monday morning feeling like death on a stick, popping a couple of morning drinks to "get myself right" (aka-fight off withdrawal symptoms). I then enjoyed a miserable, hot, sweaty, anxious Monday, a slightly better (but still not good) Tues/Wed/Thurs, and started the insanity all over again after work Friday. Why I ever thought this was a healthy pattern of living, I'll never know. At a certain point it becomes academic -- I've been sober for almost a year-and-a-half, and I'm only looking back enough to remind myself what I need to avoid.
If anybody still going through this can take anything from my experience, it should be this: A big reason I was able to continue like that for years was a lack of accountability. I live alone, had no family in town, had withdrawn from friends for the most part, and didn't let on to anybody that I had a problem. I showed up for work Mondays, there was money in the bank, and the bills got paid, so I was left alone. That's a dangerous mix for an alcoholic. I only got better after I let people know I had a problem and they held me accountable for my own recovery.
If anybody still going through this can take anything from my experience, it should be this: A big reason I was able to continue like that for years was a lack of accountability. I live alone, had no family in town, had withdrawn from friends for the most part, and didn't let on to anybody that I had a problem. I showed up for work Mondays, there was money in the bank, and the bills got paid, so I was left alone. That's a dangerous mix for an alcoholic. I only got better after I let people know I had a problem and they held me accountable for my own recovery.
saoutchik
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,205
Originally Posted by zoos
Things rings very true for me. My pattern is similar; drink way too much on Friday, spend Saturday on the couch, catch up on weekend work on Sunday (still not feeling great) have a terrible Monday-Wednesday, feel ok on Thursday, then repeat the process on Friday. Drinks on a Friday is the best reward for a long, hard week at work. In my mind, nothing else can compare. Go to a movie? Sure, but not near as exciting or rewarding.
It's just our lying AV telling us that drinks on a Friday are a "reward" Just a way of rationalising addictive patterns of behaviour. It is a bit like smoking a cigarette (I quit in '88) it feels good because it satisfys a craving but it is a craving we inflicted on ourselves. Many of us, myself included are or were the same zoos, in my case until aged 54. Good that you are here now.
Good to see you Julia, how are you this weekend?
It would be great to hear from petals, Bix, Lava and others too.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
My thoughts and prayers are with anyone in the path of hurricane Irma. It is very rainy and stormy here tonight and we Irish should be used to a bit of extra rain.
I said goodbye to my brother this evening and as we hugged he said "you are more than welcome any time. We have a new bed in the guest room which is almost brand new. If money is tight for you why don't you come over for a short visit in November and maybe a longer visit early next year?" It's nice to have the option.
This week will be very busy as I have physiotherapy first thing tomorrow and then I have to get the bus back to the hospital where I work as my consultant has 2 clinics this week which means double typing plus I haven't finished last weeks typing yet. So I will definitely have to work overtime at least 2 evenings.
I'm cheering myself up by listening to Rick Astley. No matter what, this guy never fails to make me smile and yeah I know I have rubbish taste in music but I am a child of the 1980s and I have "danced" along to his songs many times at the 80s night at our local disco.
I said goodbye to my brother this evening and as we hugged he said "you are more than welcome any time. We have a new bed in the guest room which is almost brand new. If money is tight for you why don't you come over for a short visit in November and maybe a longer visit early next year?" It's nice to have the option.
This week will be very busy as I have physiotherapy first thing tomorrow and then I have to get the bus back to the hospital where I work as my consultant has 2 clinics this week which means double typing plus I haven't finished last weeks typing yet. So I will definitely have to work overtime at least 2 evenings.
I'm cheering myself up by listening to Rick Astley. No matter what, this guy never fails to make me smile and yeah I know I have rubbish taste in music but I am a child of the 1980s and I have "danced" along to his songs many times at the 80s night at our local disco.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
I'm in, very late. I had an amazing trip to Bali, but when I got back I was immediately inundated at work. I work at a university, and classes started last week. It's always barely contained chaos right at the beginning of a new school year.
Hoping any Florida friends are ok.
Hoping any Florida friends are ok.
saoutchik
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,205
Three cheers for Bali!
I have a super agressive bailiff call round my flat this evening. He had the wrong address but didn't believe me. At one point I seriously considered calling the police but some of my neighbours came out and confirmed he was at the wrong place. Man! I have been seething about it since he left. I may go for a walk to calm down. If I had been elderly or disabled I think he would have forced his way in.
I have a super agressive bailiff call round my flat this evening. He had the wrong address but didn't believe me. At one point I seriously considered calling the police but some of my neighbours came out and confirmed he was at the wrong place. Man! I have been seething about it since he left. I may go for a walk to calm down. If I had been elderly or disabled I think he would have forced his way in.
saoutchik
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,205
Originally Posted by Caramel
What an unpleasant experience for you, saoutchik - 
Hope you can imagine him mouse-sized and retreating, squeaking, in the distance, and reclaim your own "space" back.
Hope you can imagine him mouse-sized and retreating, squeaking, in the distance, and reclaim your own "space" back.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,393
Thanks Enders! I need to be here in company of those who get it and don't judge. I need to be in communication with people who know what this problem really is and what it really isn't. Have a lot on my plate, and I feel it is a precarious time. What I do, how I handle things -- well a lot is at stake and I need to be my best.
So... I'm in. Glad the bus seems to always have a free seat when I need it!
So... I'm in. Glad the bus seems to always have a free seat when I need it!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,393
I'm really on the cusp of changes that will relieve a lot of work pressure and, in parallel, will allow me to support my family more effectively. But it involves a move and the whole thing is intensely sad and emotional for everyone. I find myself losing perspective, losing my temper, losing my patience and wanting escape. Well..."escape" would endanger the whole endeavor, risking all. I just can't run those risks. These are my opportunities, and I want to do well. I have to say I am very scared though. I wake in the mornings with that awful anxiety in my chest and stomach.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
