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You will resume exactly where you left off

Old 08-05-2017, 03:09 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I dont like being told what to do

well you're just going to have to get over that - any cancer treatment will come with a specific set of INSTRUCTIONS, and adhering to them isn't really up for debate, if you have any intentions of the best possible outcome with your diagnosis. you are going to need a clear mind and a healthy body.

i would hope and pray this is your wake up call and you not only embrace recovery, you embrace life.
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Old 08-05-2017, 03:28 PM
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Hi Carlsbrad. Did you decide to go to the meeting?

I'm sorry for the bad news you received - but as you found out, drinking does nothing to help calm us down or ease our pain. You're so right - we do resume where we left off. I was sober 3 yrs. & decided I might try social drinking again. It was terrifying how quickly I sank - and this time it was much worse - I got a dui and almost lost my job, my family, my life. You can get back to where you were - there's no doubt.
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Old 08-05-2017, 04:48 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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I'm sorry for your diagnosis Carlsbrad but the best thing you can do for yourself and your family is stop drinking and keep yourself as healthy and fit as you can to fight this disease..

Drinking is not a part of your fabric any more than it's a part of mine or anyone else here.

Thats the alcohol taking.

Stop believing those drunken lies - the way forward is not more of the same - thats a circle.

Step out and strike forward

D
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Old 08-05-2017, 09:00 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Hey ... So... I am very sorry about that news. I am sure it rocked you to the core.

But I want to just tell you one thing:
One thing that helps me is to realize that statistically impossible things happen every single day... every single MOMENT on this blue ball. In fact... This blue ball IS a statistically impossible thing, as is the fact that you were born at all!

In other words, miracles are a prevalent reality.

You may not MIRACULOUSLY find sobriety suddenly easy as pie, but you CAN count on miracles on this journey. I cant tell you what shape they will take for you, but you have all the evidence in the world and every good reason to believe that things can change, you can change, and your addiction can turn into a soulful journey of recovery.

Get sober.
If there was ever a time to give it your all, its now. It there was ever a time to make the decision to be finally PRESENT to your life in this incredible universe, its NOW.

Or at least it sure seems that way from where I am standing.
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Old 08-09-2017, 04:11 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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I am still at it..... up at 4 AM with the shakes, and forcing down a little vodka...
Skipped the ice....Ice?? Whats the point in that?? As I type this, I realize how wrong this is, and how this is no way to live, yet I am living it---again... I have a CT scan tomorrow, and am already trying to figure out how I am keeping that appt.
This sucks man....I don't wish it on my worst enemy- Thank you for listening to me whine
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Old 08-09-2017, 04:19 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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I went to the meeting...... I am not going to deny that there are great folks in those rooms, or that I am one stubborn, self centered ****, but the cliches, the Lords prayer, etc.... It just turns me off. Cant one get sober WITHOUT the religious component?? I am sorry if this offends anyone here, but this is something that I have struggled with for a very long time....
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Old 08-09-2017, 04:25 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Are you spiritual at all? I know for me, facing a cancer diagnosis, it would be hard without some kind of faith. I believe there is something greater than myself. I believe we are all connected as living things. I believe our souls are real, and that we rejoin whatever that is when we die. Everytime I have prayed for guidance I have received it. Everytime I have let go and asked for help it has worked.
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Old 08-09-2017, 04:34 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Why not give smart recovery a go good luck
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Old 08-09-2017, 04:42 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Is that even a real thing?? Smart Recovery?? I don't know ..... Well, the one thing that I DO KNOW is that my own recovery program isn't working (obviously).....so....maybe its time to stop wasting time and energy in finding my own
objections about AA, and just go to the friggin meetings!!
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Old 08-09-2017, 04:51 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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I wish I could just bail on business, financial obligations, etc for 30 days and go to treatment..... But I CANT.... Yet, I also cant stop drinking for withdrawal reasons. This is a real quandary, and I only have myself to blame for putting myself in this situation to being with....ugghhhh. If I could only rewind this back 10 days, and NOT have picked up that IPA.....
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Old 08-09-2017, 04:53 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Is that even a real thing?? Smart Recovery??
Yeah it's a real thing - noone would joke with you when you need help.

There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main meeting based players, including AA SMART Recovery and other secular approaches like Lifering:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

If you're worried about withdrawal why not see a Dr?
D
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Old 08-09-2017, 04:54 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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My creditors do not care about my disease...... And neither does the bank.....
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Old 08-09-2017, 04:55 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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I appreciate you Dee, and did not mean any disrespect- I am just in a tough spot right now...
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Old 08-09-2017, 04:57 AM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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If there WAS a way to tell everyone to f off for 30 days, believe me..... I would be doing it right now.....
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Old 08-09-2017, 05:02 AM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by HTown View Post
Are you spiritual at all? I know for me, facing a cancer diagnosis, it would be hard without some kind of faith. I believe there is something greater than myself. I believe we are all connected as living things. I believe our souls are real, and that we rejoin whatever that is when we die. Everytime I have prayed for guidance I have received it. Everytime I have let go and asked for help it has worked.
I dont know ...... I was going to respond with the typical "I am a stone cold atheist" comment, but maybe I need to just stop finding excuses to resist AA and sobriety.... Thank you for your thoughts..much respect and thanks
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Old 08-09-2017, 05:10 AM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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Hi don't quote me on this, but the higher power doesn't just mean god it can be whatever you want it to be good luck
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Old 08-09-2017, 05:11 AM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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Brad: A lot of non-religious people have gotten sober, including me. There are lots of secular recovery programs out there. I attended a short 10-day inpatient detox/rehab and then created my own recovery plan that I dutifully followed every day. There was no religious component to it.

I don't mean to be critical here, but it seems like you are spending more time seeking out rationales to excuse your relapse, rather than a plan to quit. Cancer diagnosis - nobody can question drinking over that one. AA too religious - gotta keep drinking.

It is perfectly fine to be non-religious, but it is a massive flaw in thinking to allow that core belief to serve as an impediment to recovery.

I spent years creating excuses why it was okay to drink that one day or that one drink. It was only when I came to the conclusion that there is simply no good rationale for drinking and actively sought out and embraced a recovery program that I got sober.

Put down the drink now. Find a program. Check yourself in somewhere for a detox. Do something, right now, to get yourself started on a path to recovery. Don't waste any more of your precious life with addiction.
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Old 08-09-2017, 05:14 AM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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[QUOTE=Dee74;6566035

If you're worried about withdrawal why not see a Dr?
D[/QUOTE]

I now have a primary care doctor..... I have a referral for treatment, and I also have great insurance (thanks to my wife...I am self employed..) But....I dont have even 4 hours of time. I have many obligations as a small business owner, and simply cannot go to Detox or treatment, although it sounds perfectly fine to me at the moment. I have surrendered, and would love nothing more than a 30 day stint somewhere.....just not possible
A Detox facility that I flaked on at the beginning of July actually called to check on me yesterday, and I LIED TO THEM. Told them "everything was fine", and that I now had 36 days or whatever...I was literally drinking and vaping a big hit of weed while speaking to them on the phone...I dont know man....I may be too far gone at this point
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Old 08-09-2017, 05:16 AM
  # 39 (permalink)  
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Nobody is too far gone, we just have to prioritise what's important good luck
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Old 08-09-2017, 05:25 AM
  # 40 (permalink)  
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Hi Carlsbad,

I can't speak from my own experience to being addicted and facing a cancer diagnosis, but I see that tomsteve has posted. I hope you can take some encouragement from his experience.

What I can tell you is that a cancer diagnosis is not necessarily a death sentence. My 82 yo mother is currently facing the third diagnosis of cancer of her life. Her prognosis is unknown at the moment until after her current round of treatment is over sometime later this month.

Even at her age, it is still worth fighting for life. Your life is worth fighting for, too. I hope you will soon come to realize that you are worth all the self-care you can muster. Please take good care.
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