Hey ... So... I am very sorry about that news. I am sure it rocked you to the core.
But I want to just tell you one thing:
One thing that helps me is to realize that statistically impossible things happen every single day... every single MOMENT on this blue ball. In fact... This blue ball IS a statistically impossible thing, as is the fact that you were born at all!
In other words, miracles are a prevalent reality.
You may not MIRACULOUSLY find sobriety suddenly easy as pie, but you CAN count on miracles on this journey. I cant tell you what shape they will take for you, but you have all the evidence in the world and every good reason to believe that things can change, you can change, and your addiction can turn into a soulful journey of recovery.
Get sober.
If there was ever a time to give it your all, its now. It there was ever a time to make the decision to be finally PRESENT to your life in this incredible universe, its NOW.
Or at least it sure seems that way from where I am standing.