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Old 08-09-2017, 05:41 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Carlsbrad View Post
I now have a primary care doctor..... I have a referral for treatment, and I also have great insurance (thanks to my wife...I am self employed..) But....I dont have even 4 hours of time. I have many obligations as a small business owner, and simply cannot go to Detox or treatment, although it sounds perfectly fine to me at the moment. I have surrendered, and would love nothing more than a 30 day stint somewhere.....just not possible
So sorry you are going through this right now.....
But you really need to get sober!

You have all the answers above... The Doctors, Insurance ----Even the Detox center called you back!!!!!! That was a huge thing.

DUDE .....CALL THEM BACK !

TAKE THE STEP.....

I'm a small business person as well... I understand what you are saying about not being able to leave it for a month. Maybe they can work out a shorter stay to get you clean?

You are smart..... You can do this!
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Old 08-09-2017, 05:49 AM
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No, it makes alot of sense...
But that said, I am one bad month away from bankruptcy. I cant just take off right now
I guess I am just going to have to do this the "old fashioned way". i.e., white knuckles and meetings. As i told the kind folks at my last meeting on Saturday that I attended? "I am quickly running out of options here"
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Old 08-09-2017, 05:54 AM
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But....I dont have even 4 hours of time.

Yes you do. Everybody does.

It's a question of priorities.
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Old 08-09-2017, 06:16 AM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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The only thing you need to focus on right now is NOT moving your arm towards a drink, NOT picking it up and NOT swallowing it...keep focusing on this and the answers will come
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Old 08-09-2017, 06:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Georgie123 View Post
The only thing you need to focus on right now is NOT moving your arm towards a drink, NOT picking it up and NOT swallowing it...keep focusing on this and the answers will come
Easier said than done my friend.....
The "force is strong in this one" - Yeah the disease is strong in me, and I am a hard case. I have relatives who are dead because of alcoholism, I have family members that struggle with it at this moment, and i am one arrogant and stubborn SOB... Not a good situation
Wish i could post about how everything is so great with my easily won sobriety. More power to these fortunate folk.....
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Old 08-09-2017, 07:03 AM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Carlsbrad View Post
and I am a hard case.
nothin unique there.
many hard cases have gotten sober.
just had to surrender, get some humility, and reach out for help. then get into action.
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Old 08-09-2017, 07:15 AM
  # 47 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Carlsbrad View Post
Wish i could post about how everything is so great with my easily won sobriety. More power to these hard working folk.....
Fixed your post.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.
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Old 08-09-2017, 07:26 AM
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Carlsbrad,
I just want to stop by by and say that there is a way out. Can you talk to your primary doctor and do a safe, home detox? Maybe they could prescribe Librium or whatever to get you through and you could still tend to your business somewhat? I can't imagine you're doing the best job right now. This cannot continue. I am not trying to sound condescending by any means. I was just where you are at a week or two ago, minus the cancer diagnosis (which I am very sorry to hear about, but like others have pointed out, is best faced sober.) I ended up quitting my decent job partway through my bender because I just couldn't face it. I weaned myself very carefully to get off the booze but it was no picnic. I should have been in the hospital. Today is Day 7 of sobriety for me. I truly felt as hopeless and depressed as you when I was still in the grips of the drink. But it's amazing how different I feel today. It's a process no doubt. You can do it. If I can, you can.
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Old 08-09-2017, 07:36 AM
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Originally Posted by LunaBlue View Post
Carlsbrad,
I just want to stop by by and say that there is a way out. Can you talk to your primary doctor and do a safe, home detox? Maybe they could prescribe Librium or whatever to get you through and you could still tend to your business somewhat? I can't imagine you're doing the best job right now. This cannot continue. I am not trying to sound condescending by any means. I was just where you are at a week or two ago, minus the cancer diagnosis (which I am very sorry to hear about, but like others have pointed out, is best faced sober.) I ended up quitting my decent job partway through my bender because I just couldn't face it. I weaned myself very carefully to get off the booze but it was no picnic. I should have been in the hospital. Today is Day 7 of sobriety for me. I truly felt as hopeless and depressed as you when I was still in the grips of the drink. But it's amazing how different I feel today. It's a process no doubt. You can do it. If I can, you can.

I had 26 days just last month after going through hell and detoxing at home....I know that this doesn't sound like any big accomplishment to most on here, but it was for me. I couldn't (and can't right now..) walk from here to there without a drink.... I can't make a phone call without a drink, I can't sleep for 4 hours without a drink... I want this crap out of my life for good. I have cut off every drinking buddy, I have attended meetings that I didnt want to attend, I have been honest with the wife, I have done alot man...But i am still in this rut!!!
I am just.... well....MAD!!!
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Old 08-09-2017, 07:50 AM
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And congrats BTW on 7 days... you are 7 days beyond me!
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Old 08-09-2017, 07:51 AM
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Originally Posted by Carlsbrad View Post
I can't make a phone call without a drink
Why? What happens if you make a phone call without a drink?
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Old 08-09-2017, 07:55 AM
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Its a crutch man... you probably know the drill here....The disease tells us that we are funnier and more clever if we drink... its all crap...
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Old 08-09-2017, 08:00 AM
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It is all crap. I quit taking advice from the known liar spewing crap inside my head and my life got a lot better. I highly recommend it.
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Old 08-09-2017, 08:29 AM
  # 54 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Carlsbrad View Post
I now have a primary care doctor..... I have a referral for treatment, and I also have great insurance (thanks to my wife...I am self employed..) But....I dont have even 4 hours of time. I have many obligations as a small business owner, and simply cannot go to Detox or treatment, although it sounds perfectly fine to me at the moment. I have surrendered, and would love nothing more than a 30 day stint somewhere.....just not possible
A Detox facility that I flaked on at the beginning of July actually called to check on me yesterday, and I LIED TO THEM. Told them "everything was fine", and that I now had 36 days or whatever...I was literally drinking and vaping a big hit of weed while speaking to them on the phone...I dont know man....I may be too far gone at this point
Please don't think I am being snarky but if you keep drinking you will lose all those responsibilities of being a business owner. Take a few days go detox then get yourself in an intensive outpatient program. Trust me I know this first hand...you will lose it all.
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Old 08-09-2017, 09:35 AM
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no "snarkiness" at all! Thanks!
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Old 08-09-2017, 09:50 AM
  # 56 (permalink)  
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It's so hard to read this because it's so clear to everyone that you know you need to get sober and that your life is completely unmanageable. But the fear of detox and the consequences of taking time to get well are holding you back.

Just as a thought exercise, what happens to your wife if your drinking causes you to become incapacitated? Is there a backup plan for you not being able to work? Because even if you don't take time to get sober, it's a real possibility that you won't be ABLE to work soon. This is not manageable. You are spinning yourself out of control.

I also didn't like AA. However, I have always told myself that if I can't stay sober on my own, I have to go anyway. No matter how corny and against my own beliefs it is. Many people have been successful in AA simply by doing what they were told. Just because you are stubborn doesn't mean you can't surrender to get well. Your way is failing and you won't be able to keep it up much longer.
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Old 08-09-2017, 10:35 AM
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Originally Posted by Carlsbrad View Post
no "snarkiness" at all! Thanks!
She's right Carlsbrad, I did lose my business ultimately from alcohol. I had a nice landscape contracting business, I fell while drunk and got hurt pretty bad. I was laid up for a full year. Business gone. Home....almost gone. Got sober and got a new business venture and my house is in good standing.

None of that matters right now, what matters is you sobering up. You and I both know its gonna suck. But you gotta do it man. I know you can.
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Old 08-09-2017, 11:35 AM
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I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. There is nothing more painful than fear.
Try and be kind to yourself. If a loved one were in your situation would you tell them to just keep ploughing on even though it has become unbearable?
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Old 08-09-2017, 04:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Carlsbrad View Post
Easier said than done my friend.....
The "force is strong in this one" - Yeah the disease is strong in me, and I am a hard case. I have relatives who are dead because of alcoholism, I have family members that struggle with it at this moment, and i am one arrogant and stubborn SOB... Not a good situation
Wish i could post about how everything is so great with my easily won sobriety. More power to these fortunate folk.....
Our addiction loves the victim mentality - I drink cos I'm an alcoholic...

There's thousands of alcoholics right here on the site who don't drink Brad.

Is it a lot of effort? Sure, especially in the beginning.

You might find it the hardest thing you've ever done...

but it's so very much worth it

If having a disease is stopping you from doing anything about that disease, you're totally on the wrong track.

Alcoholism is a condition that can be stopped ...anyone can do that, with a little commitment and determination

D
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Old 08-10-2017, 03:31 AM
  # 60 (permalink)  
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this sounds familiar.

i've been where you are many times, physically addicted so bad i had to drink vodka early in the morning just to "settle" myself. i've detoxed so many times i've lost count. countless times at home, many more in a facility. never was it easy, it is always like going through hell.

i am also a small business owner and 6.5 months ago i was yet again in your position. i couldn't afford time off. but i was also rapidly reaching the point where i wouldn't be able to function anyways. suicide was becoming a real option in my head. i was desperate.

i called 911. i ended up in ICU for a night and then spent 6 more days in a detox facility. it was the only real choice i had. i could have kept telling myself i didn't have time for it, but thats a lie. i NEEDED to do that. so i lost a week to detox. in the end it didn't matter. life moved one, i still have my business.

that said, i did not opt for treatment. i went to meetings. i have many of the same feelings you do towards religion, "god", etc. i still have trouble with the serenity prayer or anything with the word "god" in it. but i still went to meetings. i read the literature. i got a sponser. i got a homegroup. i did service. i am doing the steps. i talked to people. i built a support group. i got in the middle and grabbed hold. i am now 6.5 months sober and i love it. life is amazing, more so than i think it has ever been.

you are not unique. you can have it too. you CAN get and stay sober. every alcoholic can. you deserve this.
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