Cocobeano

Going into my first sober weekend. I feel sad. Like there is nothing to look forward to. No way to celebrate. I know the logic, that there is. But why does it make me sad?

AnvilheadII

well, prior to THIS weekend, you attached a lot of emphasis to ANYTHING that could be a cause to "celebrate" or "reward" yourself or "escape". AKA excuses to DRINK.

the weekend really isn't that big a deal, except that for those of us that work M-F we don't have to get up and go do the work thing. we can ratchet it down a bit, go do NON-work things, take a nap.

what COULD you do this weekend since you are NOT drinking that perhaps you were unable or unwilling to do before?

Maudcat

I grieved for a while when I broke up with my good friend alcohol.
My good friend who made me stupid, who fractured my relationship with my spouse, who controlled my life in a very bad way.
It's okay to be sad.
You are remaking your life, and that doesn't happen in a blink.
A couple of suggestions: drink a lot of water. Stay hydrated.
Lavender is calming. A couple of sprigs of lavender close by to sniff can be helpful.
Get out into the fresh air. Oxygenate your brain.
Eat when you are hungry.
Do something fun with the kids. Tire them out, which will also tire you out.
Peace.

Anna

What hobbies do you have or did you have? Do you have interest in sports or movies? There are lots of fun things to do and you can start to look around your area and find things you enjoy.

MartinMc

Old patterns are so well ingrained in us that it is difficult to see a new way straight off, but it does happen. My celebrations are tiny,( sleeping at night, eating breakfast, washing,) and large ( knowing I have harmed no one that day) We can't turn our back on a long lived life and not feel some sadness for some of it. But for me, at the end of my drinking , misery, insanity self pity and self hatred were in control. Who could wish for that again? Let the small things creep in, they soon grow to fill any empty space you see now.

applewakesup

This is ME TOO!!! I did plan things for both tomorrow and Sunday MORNING so I will get the reward of doing something fun without a hangover. Sunday I am going on a kayak trip. Something I have talked about for about 4 years but never did because my weekends were always wasted getting wasted.

Cocobeano

Honestly, nothing. Taking care if others. I have never had anything really. Hence drinking. It was my hobby, keeping me from actually to find something. It was easy. Unlimited.

Cocobeano

Isn't something that makes us "feel better" for a few hours was worth being miserable until the next drink? I am keeping that short term feeling in mind. It's not worth it.

Dee74

It takes a little while to build a sober life.

When I quit I'd had no hobbies for years either, and I couldn't remember how to have fun that didn't come from a bottle...but I learned

This list may help spark something for you Coco

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html

Forward12

I think being able to wake up on both days without the shame, regret, and a crippling hangover is just one huge thing to look forward to!

Mizzuno

Oh, the weekends.

I now look forward to rest. Accomplishing the pile up of chores from the week. A good series on netflix. Not being hungover is quite amazing. You are doing this and it is awesome!

Lascaux

Please hang in there Coco! This first weekend is strange - it's mine, too. The days feel so long without my little 4 hour "naps" after drinking. I made a "treat list" for myself - dinners to cook that I haven't had in a long while because they didn't facilitate drinking (I used to love eating spicy or cheesy food because it helped me drink more), streaming movies I didn't see in the theater because I wanted to get home and drink, long baths, WebSudoku, surfing YouTube - anything that works!

tealily

Coco, I can relate.

As a mom, taking care of others is my main thing. But that also is what I all of a sudden realized: that the only time I had to myself was being used up by planning for drinking, drinking, and then feeling terrible and recovering from drinking. What a miserable existence. THAT was my "reward"? It's a dead end. When I looked back and thought of all the things I used to do... and realized it had been years since I'd done them... it was because I had replaced them with the hobby of alcohol.

Imagine if we were honest, say, filling out a form for a new group or job about our activities: "Hi! My main skill and hobby is buying bottles, pulling out corks or screwing off tops, and drinking alcohol while hiding the extent of it from my friends and family! Avoiding early morning commitments because I know I'll feel too awful to go! Running around from store to store buying wine so the clerks won't always recognize me! Wasting entire weekends drinking and sleeping and as a result not being able to do anything else. Proud!"

It's ridiculous. But then we feel sorry for ourselves not being able to do it anymore. It wasn't glamorous, it wasn't elegant, it wasn't a reward. It was heartache, damaging to ourselves and our families, masquerading as something we "deserved". We deserve better.

This is as much a pep talk for me as you, Coco!
Hang in there.

least

I haven't missed drinking since I was about six months sober. Now at over seven years, I am amazed at how I can spend my day doing anything I want, and do it better sober. Walking my dogs is one of my favorite things to do, and being sober, I walk them a lot.

Living sober rocks!

Pierce1230

It's the beginning of a long and wonderful journey, but it is a difficult beginning...

14 months ago for me, I took some comfort in the fact that I was free from all the future damage that alcohol could cause. Gratitude was a great place to start. I had dodged a ton of alcohol bullets and been grazed by a few, but I managed to quit before getting hit directly.

The fact was that my life was miserable when I gave up drinking, but the truth was that I didn't have to live that way ever again.

Weekends at the beginning for me were full of old non-alcoholic comforts and new explorations. 20 years of alcohol had robbed me of basically every active interest I had dabbled in throughout my life. The good news was that there was a lot to explore.

My weekends now are something I treasure- I use them to relax and enjoy my actual interests, which have become guitar, gym, hiking, reading, and spending time with my girlfriend.

Hang in there, the possibilities are truly endless... sobriety has been beyond my wildest expectations. Slowly but surely it got to this point, and the beginning was hard, but it slowly got better, and better, and better!

nova84

Here here 💜

nova84

This is my weekends at the mo aswell...can't get over how much rest I've needed...I've napped twice today!!! Have done the laundry, the dishes, watered my plants and now watching House of Cards on Netflix. Happy Saturday 😊

Delilah1

Dee's list is a great start. The first few weekends are hard, but after a while sobriety will become your new normal.

Cocobeano

Super happy I wasn't hungover today. First Saturday in a long time. I accomplished a lot. Hit a wall though. I'm feeling kind of suck. On day five so I'm surprised nothing physically has bugged me until now. I'm not craving alcohol thankfully. Just having a wave of sadness and physically kind of ill. Part of the change I'm sure. Thanks everyone for responding. It's comforting.

Lascaux

I've had problems with that a lot during my previous attempts to quit. I don't get any physical symptoms of withdrawal, but it's a bummer at first to realize how much of my life was filled up with drinking, planning the next drink, recovering from the last one, etc. Once the drinking is gone there's this big hole - lots of habits cut adrift, lots of extra time (maybe too much) to think. It's a great opportunity to introduce something new to your life, but it's really hard to see it that way at first. Hope you keep hanging on and checking in!