Old patterns are so well ingrained in us that it is difficult to see a new way straight off, but it does happen. My celebrations are tiny,( sleeping at night, eating breakfast, washing,) and large ( knowing I have harmed no one that day) We can't turn our back on a long lived life and not feel some sadness for some of it. But for me, at the end of my drinking , misery, insanity self pity and self hatred were in control. Who could wish for that again? Let the small things creep in, they soon grow to fill any empty space you see now.