FreedomCA

I did not feel like posting until I had some sober time under my belt. I think I had around 14 days or so last time I was posting. I chose to drink during my last slip which lasted a couple days of binge drinking until the depression and anxiety caused from drinking caused me to start over. Other than the first day of withdrawal symptoms, it has been okay, but today has been intensely difficult. I feel like I have had intense cravings the entire day, and I would have bet at the beginning of the day that there was a 75% chance of drinking. I somehow got through the day, mostly by living in the present moment mindfully throughout the day. There is a lot of stress in my life right now, which is why I think having continuous sobriety is difficult for me. But I know that if I have that first drink, I will drink until I pass out, have a difficult night sleeping and wake up feeling badly, and then knowing I have to work on Tuesday. I am working the 12 steps online, coming on SR, have a sober friend I talk to and exercising. I know that a 12 step support group may help me, but to be honest, I just do not feel like going.

I know that alcohol will fix my short term anxiety and stress that I am currently feeling, as well as give me a brief break from my life, but that then the price to pay will be a lot more stress and anxiety. And so I know that I have to just bite the bullet and tolerate the anxiety and stress that I currently feel.

Dee74

I have to pull you up on this,
That's classic alcoholic thinking FreedomCA.

It not like there's only one solution for stress, and it's not true the only answer comes in a bottle.

There are many many healthy and positive ways to deal with stress without drinking.

Here are quite a few ideas to follow up and maybe get some strategies going?


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...44-stress.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...f-respite.html

D

FreedomCA

Thank you for the links. They seem really helpful.

FreedomCA

Off to bed for the night. Glad that this day is coming to and end. It was a huge struggle but somehow I managed not to drink by focusing on everything I was doing in the present moment.

Ariesagain

Congratulations on your day six!

Sleep well and happy dreams.

FreedomCA

One week today. Cravings so far are nonexistent. So relieved and happy I didn't cave in and drink yesterday. The benefits of not drinking yesterday include:

Feel refreshed today and not hungover.
I have not reignited the obsession to drink all over again.
Get to keep going on Day 7 and not start over on Day 1
No excess calories and weight gain.
Feel confident that I can work tomorrow
Get to continue to further address the issues that have been stressing me out without having taken one step back with them by drinking.

FreedomCA

Forgot to mention the other important benefit of not waking up with that fear and dread that I may not be able to do this and mine as well throw in the towel (suicidal thoughts).