Relief and Respite
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,371
Relief and Respite "There must be some kind of way out of here, "
Said the joker to the thief,
"There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief.
One of the most enduring arguments my inner addict had was I needed to drink to get relief or respite from my life...
maybe I was over tired, or not sleeping, or angry,or scared...or just plain fed up.
I remember thinking of drinking as releasing the valve on the pressure cooker, or 'blowing out the cobwebs'... I also remember thinking it's not fair I can't get any respite when billions of other people can...
and so I'd drink.
I look back now and the truth was there was no respite... not really...
If my drunk-on 'worked' it only did so for a few hours.
The things that drive me to drink were still there...in fact drinking used to add to my fear or my disgust about things and I'd, more often that not, drink some more and 'come to' a week later with a whole list of new problems,
If drinking didn't work (which became the default by the end of my drinking years) there was nothing to help me with the maelstrom of emotions, and nothing between me and the hell in my head.
The really bad thing was that reaching for the bottle reinforced alcohol's place as my number one go-to help tool.
I never bothered to learn other ways of coping ...
like the old saying says
if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail
Yes, there's a lot of links
...but I wanted to illustrate just a small selection of the other options open to everyone besides drinking and/or using 
It's true...none of these ways to gain respite and relief I'm about to post is likely to work instantly.
Most of them will require practice and effort.
I think as drinkers/addicts we got used to immediate gratification, and some of us (like me) forgot that work effort and patience are not necessarily bad things?
The following links are not exhaustive but they might just be that first step in getting a fully stocked toolbox
Anxiety
Put a Stop to Your Anxiety with These 8 Simple Tips
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...techniqes.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...echniques.html
Insomnia
10 tips to beat insomnia - Live Well - NHS Choices
Insomnia Tips for Better Sleep!
Relaxation techniques
Relaxation Techniques For Sleep
Relaxation Techniques Home| UMMC Midtown Campus
Calming Techniques and Coping Skills
http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm
pdfs on a variety of subjects
Building better coping skills | ReachOut.com Australia
Problem solving
All about problem solving | ReachOut.com Australia
Stress
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...44-stress.html
Positive thinking: Reduce stress by eliminating negative self-talk - Mayo Clinic
Negative self talk
Thought Stopping: A Technique to Quiet the Negative Voice in Your Head
Challenging negative thinking | ReachOut.com Australia
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/negat...tive_n_3009832
Fear
A Buddhist approach Dealing with Fear | Mahakankala Buddhist Center ? Meditation in Santa Barbara, California
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...g-rabbits.html
Let Go of Fear by Stopping the Stories in Your Head
Anger
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...f-respite.html (Relief and Respite)
http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/...mpulsivity.pdf
Boredom
Why Boredom Is Anything but Boring - Scientific American
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...coping-boredom
https://web.archive.org/web/20180317...boredom-blues/
https://www.theguardian.com/commenti...lege-free-mind
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html
Building Self Esteem (thanks Kaneda)
http://ideas.ted.com/5-ways-to-build...ign=pockethits
Please, feel free to add your own ideas tips or methods
D
Last edited by Dee74; 10-10-2019 at 03:12 AM. Reason: links checked 10 Oct 19
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
I never bothered to learn other ways of coping either. I went on for decades - counting on the same old solution to take away the fear & anxiety. Thanks, Dee for putting this together for us. Valuable information that will help many. I look forward to learning a few new things. 
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Great post Dee,
I had to learn to back down from myself .
The addiction didn't mind me getting angry , anxious .... it used the emotions to control me and keep me addicted .
For me no technique or idea gave me the total wipe out alcohol did , they did give me enough of an edge to cling to , to ride it through , especially coupled with going to bed early 6:30pm sometimes !
After a few weeks, a couple of months tops , the anxiety went , the frustration went . Semingly these things were caused by the alcohol and the addiction . I'd never stayed sober long enough, in the past to find out .
Sobriety is worthwhile stick with it ,
m
I had to learn to back down from myself .
The addiction didn't mind me getting angry , anxious .... it used the emotions to control me and keep me addicted .
For me no technique or idea gave me the total wipe out alcohol did , they did give me enough of an edge to cling to , to ride it through , especially coupled with going to bed early 6:30pm sometimes !
After a few weeks, a couple of months tops , the anxiety went , the frustration went . Semingly these things were caused by the alcohol and the addiction . I'd never stayed sober long enough, in the past to find out .
Sobriety is worthwhile stick with it ,
m
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