Quit wasting your life Weekender 24-26 March
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
I heard about the man from Utah on the radio earlier today. His wife is going to be OK, I heard. Except for now being a widow, of course. The whole thing is so tragic.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Worcestershire, UK
Posts: 153
I'm definitely in. LOVE getting stuff done, instead of beating myself up for all the stuff I haven't done. LOVE that smug feeling! I'm going to crack on with my Camper conversion without a cigarette break every 15 minutes, without a hangover, and without an early finish because it's the weekend and I can justify opening the wine at midday x
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
No plans this weekend here ,
just do a bit of housework and do the meter readings for the utillities .
Have a few things tagged on netflix and might walk to the center of the village and look at the bric-a-brac in the charity shops for treasure if the weather is ok .
m
just do a bit of housework and do the meter readings for the utillities .
Have a few things tagged on netflix and might walk to the center of the village and look at the bric-a-brac in the charity shops for treasure if the weather is ok .
m
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
Having a really hard time this week.. and particularly tonight.. And I'll be honest with you, the only reasons I did not stop at a liquor store on my way home just now was because I was low on gas, didn't feel like stopping to fill up, and I had to pee!
I'm in a weird place with drinking. That is, all of my substantial periods of sobriety have been following an "enough is enough" moment, usually I blacked out and pulled a no call no show on a job, and vowed not to drink again. I haven't had that, I don't want to have that, I want to drink, but I want the tremors to be done, I want my moods to stabilize, I want my stomach to feel better, I want to stop making my teeth worse, I want to have energy, I want to focus, I want to stop feeling like I'm wasting my days and wasting my life.
I want to come home at the end of a busy day and read a novel or watch something funny or have ice cream or chat with a friend on the phone.. I want to wake up feeling rested tomorrow so I can spend the entire day working on my care plan assignments but not be stressed and rushed... maybe take a break to clean or go to the bank or a zumba class or something..
I really don't like the anxious, irritable person I've gotten back to.. she is not my friend, she is toxic. She does not play well with others. She wants to tell everyone to bleep the bleep off, to be honest.
There's been a lot of drama going on at school that is just exhausting. It's to the point that I am being a little more brusque with people than I'd like, swearing more than I like, I try not to do that as a rule.. I feel like if I wasn't drinking these things going on now just wouldn't bother me as much..
Who's hanging out here with me the next couple hours til the state stores close? Seriously.. one day at a time but this was quite a day to be sober.. We had class 8-noon and then an event in the evening and a lot of people went to Applebee's to drink in between.. I obviously did not..
I'm in a weird place with drinking. That is, all of my substantial periods of sobriety have been following an "enough is enough" moment, usually I blacked out and pulled a no call no show on a job, and vowed not to drink again. I haven't had that, I don't want to have that, I want to drink, but I want the tremors to be done, I want my moods to stabilize, I want my stomach to feel better, I want to stop making my teeth worse, I want to have energy, I want to focus, I want to stop feeling like I'm wasting my days and wasting my life.
I want to come home at the end of a busy day and read a novel or watch something funny or have ice cream or chat with a friend on the phone.. I want to wake up feeling rested tomorrow so I can spend the entire day working on my care plan assignments but not be stressed and rushed... maybe take a break to clean or go to the bank or a zumba class or something..
I really don't like the anxious, irritable person I've gotten back to.. she is not my friend, she is toxic. She does not play well with others. She wants to tell everyone to bleep the bleep off, to be honest.
There's been a lot of drama going on at school that is just exhausting. It's to the point that I am being a little more brusque with people than I'd like, swearing more than I like, I try not to do that as a rule.. I feel like if I wasn't drinking these things going on now just wouldn't bother me as much..
Who's hanging out here with me the next couple hours til the state stores close? Seriously.. one day at a time but this was quite a day to be sober.. We had class 8-noon and then an event in the evening and a lot of people went to Applebee's to drink in between.. I obviously did not..
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
That's a lot of wanting, which is craving. Stop multiplying, adding to cravings when the aim is to reduce the cravings. All craving is the same. Wanting something that hasn't happened to happen. Wanting something that has happened to not happen. It's not gonna happen.
What you can do is to change the habit of responding to something you don't like by accepting it has happened and move on. Or responding to something you like by accepting it has happened and move on. Stop clinging to things you have no control over. Use the experience to come out of this habit pattern by simply observing the fact of their (temporary) existence and go about doing whatever you have to in life on a mundane level. In time the wanting and not wanting comes into balance. And with it the craving to booze changes. It becomes what it is always, ephemeral.
What you can do is to change the habit of responding to something you don't like by accepting it has happened and move on. Or responding to something you like by accepting it has happened and move on. Stop clinging to things you have no control over. Use the experience to come out of this habit pattern by simply observing the fact of their (temporary) existence and go about doing whatever you have to in life on a mundane level. In time the wanting and not wanting comes into balance. And with it the craving to booze changes. It becomes what it is always, ephemeral.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Originally Posted by saoutchik 
I did used to post before I set off for work at about 7am but that meant it was 11pm on Wednesday where bim and Olive are which is too early for a new weekender. 11am is about right as it means it is Thurday almost everywhere.
<snip>
<snip>
I had a nice walk on the beach today, the water is clear right now and in a couple weeks it will be warm enough outside to walk in it barefooted (feeted? foot?) The water will still be 54*F, but that's okay.
All is right in my world. Mecanix, you have a "few" in line on Netflix? I have 487. A lot of them are interesting to me, too. I'll never watch them all.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
I'm glad you're not drinking BC.
I remember somedays I felt like I could save the Universe and other days just not drinking was a monumental effort, but I called both of them a win
great opener Sao - thanks
D
I remember somedays I felt like I could save the Universe and other days just not drinking was a monumental effort, but I called both of them a win
great opener Sao - thanks
D
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
I'm just pointing out that craving is craving. Certainly being sober is the foundation to living a sober life. Early in sobriety I think any way you get there is good. It's only sober you can start to make the sort of changes necessary to maintain a sober life.
Once you have that though. At some point it's important to realise that things have to change on a deeper level and here is where I'm talking about how craving begets craving. It doesn't matter if it's sugar or booze. You'll always be caught in a craving cycle until you dissociate from craving as such. This is a tough one for most if not all alcoholics. Perhaps most humans period. As such perhaps I need to be more careful where I talk of such things. I'm sure while it's a difficult point to digest it is not that difficult to understand.
Once you have that though. At some point it's important to realise that things have to change on a deeper level and here is where I'm talking about how craving begets craving. It doesn't matter if it's sugar or booze. You'll always be caught in a craving cycle until you dissociate from craving as such. This is a tough one for most if not all alcoholics. Perhaps most humans period. As such perhaps I need to be more careful where I talk of such things. I'm sure while it's a difficult point to digest it is not that difficult to understand.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
Well I made it back from Dublin in one piece. When my mom greeted me she said "let me see your eyes. Yes your eyes and skin are clear and you look well. The walking around suited you". I understood her implication loud and clear but I let it go.
I had a job interview in Dublin last year. I did not get it and I was upset at the time. Now I am relieved as I come from a 'city' of roughly 80,000 to Dublin's roughly 1, 400,000. I feel uncomfortable there at times as I feel like I constantly have to be 'on guard'. There are some areas which are no go areas at night. I read an article lately where someone was complaining that their phone got stolen out of their hand in broad daylight. Someone else said never walk around with your phone in your hand. I waltz down our main street all the time while chatting on the phone and I have never had problems.
I got back to my flat. I share a house with 7 others. Two brothers share a room on the middle floor. I have spoken to the elder one several times as he stays here at weekends but the younger one goes home every weekend, I don't see him at all really as I am at work all day, then home to eat, then out for a walk and sometimes I go to spend the night at my friends house. Plus they are a lot younger than me so I don't socialise with them beyond small talk. So I was looking for my keys in my bag and this guy came over to me outside the front door. I was tired and I thought he looked familar but I wasn't sure. I asked him "are you looking for someone?" He laughed and said "I live here". I was mortified. Mortified. Although my dad was laughing at me.
Sao gave me advice last year when I wanted to move out of my parents - to pick a date and move out by that date. Now I would like to find a cheaper house with less people. I have to deal with people at work all day. When I get home I am exhausted and I would like 5 minutes alone in the kitchen in the evening to think and have a cup of tea but I don't get that. After 2 minutes someone is in on top of me. Now I have picked a new date: June 18th - for whatever reason I don't know. But that is my new date.
I had a job interview in Dublin last year. I did not get it and I was upset at the time. Now I am relieved as I come from a 'city' of roughly 80,000 to Dublin's roughly 1, 400,000. I feel uncomfortable there at times as I feel like I constantly have to be 'on guard'. There are some areas which are no go areas at night. I read an article lately where someone was complaining that their phone got stolen out of their hand in broad daylight. Someone else said never walk around with your phone in your hand. I waltz down our main street all the time while chatting on the phone and I have never had problems.
I got back to my flat. I share a house with 7 others. Two brothers share a room on the middle floor. I have spoken to the elder one several times as he stays here at weekends but the younger one goes home every weekend, I don't see him at all really as I am at work all day, then home to eat, then out for a walk and sometimes I go to spend the night at my friends house. Plus they are a lot younger than me so I don't socialise with them beyond small talk. So I was looking for my keys in my bag and this guy came over to me outside the front door. I was tired and I thought he looked familar but I wasn't sure. I asked him "are you looking for someone?" He laughed and said "I live here". I was mortified. Mortified. Although my dad was laughing at me.
Sao gave me advice last year when I wanted to move out of my parents - to pick a date and move out by that date. Now I would like to find a cheaper house with less people. I have to deal with people at work all day. When I get home I am exhausted and I would like 5 minutes alone in the kitchen in the evening to think and have a cup of tea but I don't get that. After 2 minutes someone is in on top of me. Now I have picked a new date: June 18th - for whatever reason I don't know. But that is my new date.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
Originally Posted by Grymt
I'm just pointing out that craving is craving. Certainly being sober is the foundation to living a sober life. Early in sobriety I think any way you get there is good. It's only sober you can start to make the sort of changes necessary to maintain a sober life.
Once you have that though. At some point it's important to realise that things have to change on a deeper level and here is where I'm talking about how craving begets craving. It doesn't matter if it's sugar or booze. You'll always be caught in a craving cycle until you dissociate from craving as such. This is a tough one for most if not all alcoholics. Perhaps most humans period. As such perhaps I need to be more careful where I talk of such things. I'm sure while it's a difficult point to digest it is not that difficult to understand.
Once you have that though. At some point it's important to realise that things have to change on a deeper level and here is where I'm talking about how craving begets craving. It doesn't matter if it's sugar or booze. You'll always be caught in a craving cycle until you dissociate from craving as such. This is a tough one for most if not all alcoholics. Perhaps most humans period. As such perhaps I need to be more careful where I talk of such things. I'm sure while it's a difficult point to digest it is not that difficult to understand.
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
Ok, fair enough. I think I got hung up with the plethora of "I want". I meant nothing personal. I was speaking to the person I assumed spent life wanting and struggling with cravings. My apologies for any mis understanding on my part.
We cool?
We cool?
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
It's just different... a craving is a craving, you said... mmm, nope.... because I can remember my favorite moment at 90 days sobriety when I had a bad day and I *wanted* to go to Michael's on my way home from work and got absorbed in picking out fun little shiny things for decorating a Christmas wreath with? It was so much more therapeutic than what I had previously always *wanted* to do at the end of a bad day, which was go to a liquor store.
Women even who are not alcoholics, but maybe are codependent, find out the difference between unhealthy wants and healthy wants.. Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat Pray Love! She wanted to want a lot of things she didn't really want. She wanted to want to be married, she wanted to want children, and she didn't. She realized she wanted to learn Italian, for no other reason than because it made her happy.
I want to want to go to a zumba class or come home and eat Ben & Jerry's and read a Karen Kingsbury romance novel to decompress from a stressful day, because it makes me happier than putting away a bottle of wine makes me. And craving those things, is a hell of a lot different, than craving that wine.
Women even who are not alcoholics, but maybe are codependent, find out the difference between unhealthy wants and healthy wants.. Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat Pray Love! She wanted to want a lot of things she didn't really want. She wanted to want to be married, she wanted to want children, and she didn't. She realized she wanted to learn Italian, for no other reason than because it made her happy.
I want to want to go to a zumba class or come home and eat Ben & Jerry's and read a Karen Kingsbury romance novel to decompress from a stressful day, because it makes me happier than putting away a bottle of wine makes me. And craving those things, is a hell of a lot different, than craving that wine.
A simple guy making his way
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Morning everyone! Morning Trees! I always seem to miss you trees by just about an hour and then you don't stop back in until the next day. Dang. Miss you and super glad to see you here!
Hi LadyB!!! Hi BIM!!!
Miss you and super glad to see you here!Hi LadyB!!! Hi BIM!!!
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