Controlled drinking 26 months later
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,228
Originally Posted by AAPJ 
Wow - this is an old thread. I wonder what happened to the OP. Best I can tell he has not posted or been on this forum since 2017.
Humbling thread.
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 446
Originally Posted by AAPJ
Wow - this is an old thread. I wonder what happened to the OP. Best I can tell he has not posted or been on this forum since 2017.
We need to admit that alcohol has got us beat and surrender. Then we can move forward and live a better life.
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 446
Originally Posted by Dee74
I dunno what happened to vandelay but I hope he's doing well, as I'm sure we all do.
D
D
And I wonder if it is worth the risk of even one of them falling off the wagon because of it.
And just for the record, Dee, you truly are a saint!
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
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I could sometimes do moderation for up to three months, but it always always caught up to me and progressed to a worse place than before. Plus any drinking at all really made me feel spiritually empty. There was such cognitive dissonance. I am so glad to be comfortable being a 100% nondrinker now!
Hopefully Vande is ok and is not still playing this game. The fact that he never came back is sort of a bad sign to me.
Hopefully Vande is ok and is not still playing this game. The fact that he never came back is sort of a bad sign to me.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,189
Originally Posted by Dee74
Thanks for the wrap Mac 
I dunno this thread will make people think they might be able to drink tho - I think more the opposite?
D
I dunno this thread will make people think they might be able to drink tho - I think more the opposite?
D
DUI #1
Fights with friends
Drunk texting
Loosing my wallet/purse/car
DUI#2
Fights with family
Drunk calling
Loosing my way home
Getting sick, puking in my bed, falling on my face, getting kicked out of every bar, crying until I passed out.
But...it was the perfect week!!
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Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
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Originally Posted by Dee74
Thanks for the wrap Mac
I dunno this thread will make people think they might be able to drink tho - I think more the opposite?
D
I dunno this thread will make people think they might be able to drink tho - I think more the opposite?
D
And I know a guy who like me is alcohol dependent, but whilst I took the easy option of quitting (it really is the easier way after those painful first few weeks), he chooses to “moderate” within the recommended UK 14 weekly units (which equates to one and a half bottles of wine).
To his credit, he keeps to the limit, but he gulps down each beer and spends the rest of the evening wanting another. By day four or five, he’s finished his weekly allowance so has a fidgety couple of days before he can start again.
That would so be me if I wanted to “moderate”. As well as the utter misery that his daily craving entails, the risk of creeping over that weekly limit is odds on.
I admit I am/was alcohol dependent or an alcoholic. Alcohol beat me. It had me by the balls and had won. The only way to fight back was to run away. If I drink again, I’d be beaten again. It’s very arrogant of any ex-drinker to think they can start again and control their drinking.
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Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 598
I also considered weekend drinking but dumped the thought even before I finished it. How is that going to make anything better? Still chaos, even for shorter periods, wasted days, hangovers, guilt, shame, damage to health. It’s utterly pointless.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 25
Hi Everyone, OP here. I thought I’d check in on this post and found it has continued even though I haven’t looked at it in years. I followed it shortly after my last post and decided to step away as I agree with the sentiment many have pointed out – That this may make people think they can do it too and ultimately result in harm.
So to answer some of the questions – Yes I’m alive and well. I am still doing the perfect week strategy. This past October marked FIVE years of sticking to my program. That’s 60 consecutive months with a varying strategy I’ll attempt to recap and update:
In 60 months there were a few changes as you might expect. At the 13th month as previously stated I kicked it up to 3 weeks per month no drinking Monday through Thursday and that part has stuck. First 12 months it was 2 weeks per month. While that was great progress, around month 24, One exception I made was backing down to two weeks per month any two months out of the year. I found the summertime difficult and made this decision at the 3rd year on my anniversary month and that has been my goal – changes are only made on the anniversary month. The only other single exception I made was to allow a month to be broken up. One week on, one week off, two weeks on, but I try to avoid that, and generally do. But it’s still 3 weeks per month, EVERY month, and the two wildcard months are just two weeks instead of three. Never has there been or ever will be a month that’s just a free for all.
So in 5 years, (62 months technically), that’s where I’m at. No handle of vodka per night, although I understand why some would think that. What it does is keep my tolerance down. Friday it’s 8 beers. Saturday it’s 10, by Sunday it’s around 12. It keeps me from going off that slippery slope and heading towards drinking during the day and you all know what happens next.
The strategy was designed to slowly change my habit patterns. It worked, but only partially. By Tuesday I don’t think about alcohol. That’s great. Really great. And I have adopted an exercise and dieting schedule that I truly enjoy during the week. The dark side is the weekend and holiday benders get a little scary. Any given Sunday for example even if I over-did it Saturday I have NO control over whether I drink or not on Sunday. Even with the best intentions to go to bed early and be fresh for work the next day. That part sucks, and is hugely dis-appointing, after 5 years. The other problem I must admit is this "weekends are for alcohol" lifestyle. It certainly makes family and friends take a back seat and is probably a big factor in why I'm single.
So I wanted to share a recap/update with people that were curious why I just ‘disappeared’. Once again I’d hate to think this thread has caused someone to go off the wagon and try my method and part of me wishes I never posted it and/or the moderators would take it down. But that’s not up to me and all I can do is hope it is helping others more than it may be hurting them.
Best of luck to all of you in your efforts.
So to answer some of the questions – Yes I’m alive and well. I am still doing the perfect week strategy. This past October marked FIVE years of sticking to my program. That’s 60 consecutive months with a varying strategy I’ll attempt to recap and update:
In 60 months there were a few changes as you might expect. At the 13th month as previously stated I kicked it up to 3 weeks per month no drinking Monday through Thursday and that part has stuck. First 12 months it was 2 weeks per month. While that was great progress, around month 24, One exception I made was backing down to two weeks per month any two months out of the year. I found the summertime difficult and made this decision at the 3rd year on my anniversary month and that has been my goal – changes are only made on the anniversary month. The only other single exception I made was to allow a month to be broken up. One week on, one week off, two weeks on, but I try to avoid that, and generally do. But it’s still 3 weeks per month, EVERY month, and the two wildcard months are just two weeks instead of three. Never has there been or ever will be a month that’s just a free for all.
So in 5 years, (62 months technically), that’s where I’m at. No handle of vodka per night, although I understand why some would think that. What it does is keep my tolerance down. Friday it’s 8 beers. Saturday it’s 10, by Sunday it’s around 12. It keeps me from going off that slippery slope and heading towards drinking during the day and you all know what happens next.
The strategy was designed to slowly change my habit patterns. It worked, but only partially. By Tuesday I don’t think about alcohol. That’s great. Really great. And I have adopted an exercise and dieting schedule that I truly enjoy during the week. The dark side is the weekend and holiday benders get a little scary. Any given Sunday for example even if I over-did it Saturday I have NO control over whether I drink or not on Sunday. Even with the best intentions to go to bed early and be fresh for work the next day. That part sucks, and is hugely dis-appointing, after 5 years. The other problem I must admit is this "weekends are for alcohol" lifestyle. It certainly makes family and friends take a back seat and is probably a big factor in why I'm single.
So I wanted to share a recap/update with people that were curious why I just ‘disappeared’. Once again I’d hate to think this thread has caused someone to go off the wagon and try my method and part of me wishes I never posted it and/or the moderators would take it down. But that’s not up to me and all I can do is hope it is helping others more than it may be hurting them.
Best of luck to all of you in your efforts.
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wow, that is sure a LOT of effort put into trying to still keep drinking and call it moderation. and by your own admission, isn't REALLY working as perfectly as you hoped. seems it might be a lot easier to just take booze out of the equation. think what else you could with all that mental energy???
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Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
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Originally Posted by vandelay187
What it does is keep my tolerance down. Friday it’s 8 beers. Saturday it’s 10, by Sunday it’s around 12.
But if I’ve read correctly, you’re drinking 8 to 12 beers a day at the weekend? That’s not a healthy amount by any stretch of the imagination. Healthy, for someone without any alcohol problem, would be below 6 beers in a week. Anyone drinking over that amount really is playing Russian roulette with their health, and the odds of liver problems and cancers shoot up, not to mention the addiction problems.
Sorry, but that’s not healthy at all. Your opinions should be welcome here - I’d much rather people felt free to express views than to feel censored - but you can’t say you don’t have a problem if I’ve interpreted your levels on intake correctly. If I’ve misinterpreted, please correct me, and I apologise in advance.
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This is why so many people die from drinking. Maybe not today, or in 60 months, but eventually.
Like Scott, my head hurts from this. I cannot say I am surprised but I am unceasingly sad when I read of people continuing to wage war with themselves and with alcohol.
It is just such a waste of every single life, its potential and ... its hope.
It occurred to me yesterday that "peace seeking" could be the perfect mantra for my 2020. And words like this don't belong:
War
Scary
Slippery
Disappointing
Like I say many times here and IRL: I wish everyone the best life they can have, period. Figuring out what that best is for me is the most priceless gift I have ever found. The perfectly imperfect life I have found at 1,413 days is even better than the one I was living when I posted up thread at 360 something.
Like Scott, my head hurts from this. I cannot say I am surprised but I am unceasingly sad when I read of people continuing to wage war with themselves and with alcohol.
It is just such a waste of every single life, its potential and ... its hope.
It occurred to me yesterday that "peace seeking" could be the perfect mantra for my 2020. And words like this don't belong:
War
Scary
Slippery
Disappointing
Like I say many times here and IRL: I wish everyone the best life they can have, period. Figuring out what that best is for me is the most priceless gift I have ever found. The perfectly imperfect life I have found at 1,413 days is even better than the one I was living when I posted up thread at 360 something.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,073
Vandelay - thanks for checking in. IMO you are a very unusual person. Wish you the best in life. At least for me this thread has not tempted me to try drinking normally or in some sort of controlled fashion. Quitting is just so much simpler. Please check back in a year or two.
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