Controlled drinking 26 months later
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Join Date: Feb 2017
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Controlled drinking 26 months later
So after just over 2 years good behavior i'm still debating daily whether my approach is healthy or not.
After everyday drinking for a little over 10 years i came up with a plan. I call it 3 consecutive perfect weeks (per month). I developed this plan knowing how hard it was to not drink on the weekends so this idea of the perfect week evolved. mon-thursday no drinks was a perfect week.
I did it for a month, then another, and then another, and that leads us to this month, 23 months later. It's by no means ideal, but has allowed me to gain a ton of clarity.
I feel it's either this or give it up completely and i freely admit this method is far more demanding than giving it up. my approach has allowed me to have kegs again, have a liquor cabinet i dont deplete in one bender, and allows me time to spend drunk and regular time to spend sober.
at around the 18th month i did notice a big change in that i'm less dependent on beer. I actually came down with a cold last week and it was the first time in 5+ years i took care of myself with tea and vitamins not overly concerned with the beer i was missing out on.
what do people think?? anyone else find an approach like this is working for them? is it REALLY working for me or is it just an illusion??
After everyday drinking for a little over 10 years i came up with a plan. I call it 3 consecutive perfect weeks (per month). I developed this plan knowing how hard it was to not drink on the weekends so this idea of the perfect week evolved. mon-thursday no drinks was a perfect week.
I did it for a month, then another, and then another, and that leads us to this month, 23 months later. It's by no means ideal, but has allowed me to gain a ton of clarity.
I feel it's either this or give it up completely and i freely admit this method is far more demanding than giving it up. my approach has allowed me to have kegs again, have a liquor cabinet i dont deplete in one bender, and allows me time to spend drunk and regular time to spend sober.
at around the 18th month i did notice a big change in that i'm less dependent on beer. I actually came down with a cold last week and it was the first time in 5+ years i took care of myself with tea and vitamins not overly concerned with the beer i was missing out on.
what do people think?? anyone else find an approach like this is working for them? is it REALLY working for me or is it just an illusion??
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
If it works for you it works for you.
This is a sobriety website/support forum.
We'll be here for you when and if you ever decide to take the MUCH easier route of just quitting completely.
I would ask myself why this is important (?)
This is a sobriety website/support forum.
We'll be here for you when and if you ever decide to take the MUCH easier route of just quitting completely.
I would ask myself why
allows me time to spend drunk
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Sorry i didn't think whether or not my post was in-appropriate. If it's best deleted i wont be offended.
my answer to your question would be yes. I cant picture traveling, camping, boating, vacationing without a beer or two. and i have more of the above to accomplish. I have a family cruise planned in july and i'd ask myself if i'd even want to spend the $2000 to go and not drink. The answer is no unfortunately. So if i put in the effort i get the reward I'm after.
Yeah. that in itself screams something bad i guess.
my answer to your question would be yes. I cant picture traveling, camping, boating, vacationing without a beer or two. and i have more of the above to accomplish. I have a family cruise planned in july and i'd ask myself if i'd even want to spend the $2000 to go and not drink. The answer is no unfortunately. So if i put in the effort i get the reward I'm after.
Yeah. that in itself screams something bad i guess.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
No I don't think your post would need to get deleted, it is a dream for many of us to be able to drink in a controlled manner - and I think we all used to drink for the same reasons in the beginning, it's a hedonistic behavior that rewards our brains with massive hits of dopamine.
Unfortunately, that "reward" (and I hesitate to call anything a reward that is likely to kill me...) comes with the promise that some day I will need to drink a whole lot more in order to get that buzz.
I've read (and it think it is from F. Scott Fitzgerald - a famous alcoholic) "First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man."
That is about as succinct as is possible.
Eventually what you're doing is going to stop working, most likely. Maybe you're special. . .but I wouldn't count on it.
Is it really just a beer or two? You said you drink to get drunk. That is way more than a healthy level of drinking. What you're doing is binge drinking.
Unfortunately, that "reward" (and I hesitate to call anything a reward that is likely to kill me...) comes with the promise that some day I will need to drink a whole lot more in order to get that buzz.
I've read (and it think it is from F. Scott Fitzgerald - a famous alcoholic) "First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man."
That is about as succinct as is possible.
Eventually what you're doing is going to stop working, most likely. Maybe you're special. . .but I wouldn't count on it.
I cant picture traveling, camping, boating, vacationing without a beer or two.
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I could be special, but i don't want to count on that either. From about as early as i can remember i never wanted to become a full time smoker but enjoyed cigarettes. I broke down the addictive process very carefully and came up with a plan. i smoke once per month, carefully analyze my weaknesses and have come up with solid workarounds. I'm happy to say i have no risk of becoming a (regular) smoker and honestly forget when it's my 'smoking weekend' more often than not.
A close friend of mine said, 'i don't know anybody that does what you do'. referring to smoking.
Alcohol i've noted is far less addictive and that's why its so much more powerful. took 10 years to really sneak up on me. when i finally identified it as a problem and acknowledged its power I started treating it with the same passion i treat smoking with and within a year or two i was down the road to the perfect weeks.
A close friend of mine said, 'i don't know anybody that does what you do'. referring to smoking.
Alcohol i've noted is far less addictive and that's why its so much more powerful. took 10 years to really sneak up on me. when i finally identified it as a problem and acknowledged its power I started treating it with the same passion i treat smoking with and within a year or two i was down the road to the perfect weeks.
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Originally Posted by vandelay187 
Sorry i didn't think whether or not my post was in-appropriate. If it's best deleted i wont be offended.
my answer to your question would be yes. I cant picture traveling, camping, boating, vacationing without a beer or two. and i have more of the above to accomplish. I have a family cruise planned in july and i'd ask myself if i'd even want to spend the $2000 to go and not drink. The answer is no unfortunately. So if i put in the effort i get the reward I'm after.
Yeah. that in itself screams something bad i guess.
my answer to your question would be yes. I cant picture traveling, camping, boating, vacationing without a beer or two. and i have more of the above to accomplish. I have a family cruise planned in july and i'd ask myself if i'd even want to spend the $2000 to go and not drink. The answer is no unfortunately. So if i put in the effort i get the reward I'm after.
Yeah. that in itself screams something bad i guess.
I believe that true alcoholics aren't satisfied with a beer or two, they drink to get drunk.
If this works for you, then I would say you aren't an alcoholic. But if you spend the day's 'sober' constantly thinking about the weekend when you can let go, and the week spent sober isn't enjoyable because you constantly have to fight off the urge to drink, then you may consider other options.
For me personally, I couldn't come to the realization that I was an alcoholic until I honestly read the big book of AA. If you read the first 60 or so pages, it really helps one understand what type of drinker they are.
I was able to moderate for a period of time in my life, but eventually I crossed a line where I could no longer moderate very well.
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Originally Posted by vandelay187
I could be special, but i don't want to count on that either.
Bottom line, it's a decision only you can make for yourself.
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Originally Posted by vandelay187
After everyday drinking for a little over 10 years i came up with a plan. I call it 3 consecutive perfect weeks (per month). I developed this plan knowing how hard it was to not drink on the weekends so this idea of the perfect week evolved. mon-thursday no drinks was a perfect week.
Best of Luck on Your Journey.
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Originally Posted by vandelay187
I cant picture traveling, camping, boating, vacationing without a beer or two.
After your perfect week, what's your Friday-Sunday consumption?
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Join Date: Jan 2016
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I drink 2-3 times a week. So the same frequency as yourself. For me, it is far from the 'perfect' week. I spend almost half the week nights drunk and the other half hungover or under par. That leaves me with 1-2 nights functioning reasonably well.
I wish you well. But my point of view is that spending 3 nights a week drinking, every week is nowhere near perfect.
I wish you well. But my point of view is that spending 3 nights a week drinking, every week is nowhere near perfect.
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You speak or spending sober time and of spending drunk time?
Two beers would constitute normal drinking, in my opinion; getting drunk, again in my opinion, would constitute abnormal/alcoholic drinking.
Getting drunk is unhealthy and unsafe for yourself and, if you dare to drive , to yourself and, potentially, to others.
Do you have children? Exhibiting drunkenness and alcoholic behaviors is setting a bad example for them.
Two beers would constitute normal drinking, in my opinion; getting drunk, again in my opinion, would constitute abnormal/alcoholic drinking.
Getting drunk is unhealthy and unsafe for yourself and, if you dare to drive , to yourself and, potentially, to others.
Do you have children? Exhibiting drunkenness and alcoholic behaviors is setting a bad example for them.
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Join Date: Feb 2017
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I think only you ultimately can decide what is best for you. I think reaching out for more information on the topic of addiction can help give you more data to help you make the most informed decision that you can. I cannot say if this is workable for you or not.
I can point out it sounds from your post that you want to quit or have someone tell you to quit- you state below that you are at the point of either quitting, or acknowledging this method is harder than just quitting. So I would ask you what you want for yourself? What makes this setup so difficult for you/where is the struggle appearing in your life? What would you like to be different?
I can point out it sounds from your post that you want to quit or have someone tell you to quit- you state below that you are at the point of either quitting, or acknowledging this method is harder than just quitting. So I would ask you what you want for yourself? What makes this setup so difficult for you/where is the struggle appearing in your life? What would you like to be different?
Originally Posted by vandelay187
So after just over 2 years good behavior i'm still debating daily whether my approach is healthy or not.
After everyday drinking for a little over 10 years i came up with a plan. I call it 3 consecutive perfect weeks (per month). I developed this plan knowing how hard it was to not drink on the weekends so this idea of the perfect week evolved. mon-thursday no drinks was a perfect week.
I did it for a month, then another, and then another, and that leads us to this month, 23 months later. It's by no means ideal, but has allowed me to gain a ton of clarity.
I feel it's either this or give it up completely and i freely admit this method is far more demanding than giving it up. my approach has allowed me to have kegs again, have a liquor cabinet i dont deplete in one bender, and allows me time to spend drunk and regular time to spend sober.
at around the 18th month i did notice a big change in that i'm less dependent on beer. I actually came down with a cold last week and it was the first time in 5+ years i took care of myself with tea and vitamins not overly concerned with the beer i was missing out on.
what do people think?? anyone else find an approach like this is working for them? is it REALLY working for me or is it just an illusion??
After everyday drinking for a little over 10 years i came up with a plan. I call it 3 consecutive perfect weeks (per month). I developed this plan knowing how hard it was to not drink on the weekends so this idea of the perfect week evolved. mon-thursday no drinks was a perfect week.
I did it for a month, then another, and then another, and that leads us to this month, 23 months later. It's by no means ideal, but has allowed me to gain a ton of clarity.
I feel it's either this or give it up completely and i freely admit this method is far more demanding than giving it up. my approach has allowed me to have kegs again, have a liquor cabinet i dont deplete in one bender, and allows me time to spend drunk and regular time to spend sober.
at around the 18th month i did notice a big change in that i'm less dependent on beer. I actually came down with a cold last week and it was the first time in 5+ years i took care of myself with tea and vitamins not overly concerned with the beer i was missing out on.
what do people think?? anyone else find an approach like this is working for them? is it REALLY working for me or is it just an illusion??
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Join Date: Feb 2017
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl
And that's what you drink? A beer? Maybe two?
After your perfect week, what's your Friday-Sunday consumption?
After your perfect week, what's your Friday-Sunday consumption?
The great part of the perf wk's is my tolerance plummets. Friday i can have 6 and be completely content. Tolerance comes back quick so then Saturday it's 8 and Sunday probably still 8.
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this is the THIRD post that promotes moderation. and i personally find it VERY offensive, in the newcomers forum or on this SOBER RECOVERY board at all.
i'm curious what made you seek us out to come here and proudly rave about your Perfect Plan.
the rest of us are here because drinking is ruining our health, our relationships, our jobs, our futures, our lives. last thing we need is someone coming along saying "you're just not doing it right".
i'm curious what made you seek us out to come here and proudly rave about your Perfect Plan.
the rest of us are here because drinking is ruining our health, our relationships, our jobs, our futures, our lives. last thing we need is someone coming along saying "you're just not doing it right".
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