Hoarding...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Southeast US
Posts: 118
I have this issue as well, or sort of this issue. I don't buy things to fill a hole, but I do keep things for sentimental reasons as well as "I might need this someday and I grew up dirt poor so I'm worried about not having it when I need it" which is a product of the same type of thing I think.
The clutter and chaos of too much *stuff* causes me great emotional turmoil. I really need to address it sooner than later. Thanks.
The clutter and chaos of too much *stuff* causes me great emotional turmoil. I really need to address it sooner than later. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,061
Originally Posted by canguy 
Where the hell do keep two horses In North London Kaily?
I couldn't find space for a car, lol
I couldn't find space for a car, lol
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Originally Posted by Centered3
Don't keep stuff just because you spent a lot of your hard earned money on it, or else you'll never let the stuff go and it'll just take up space. Plus every time you see it, it will bring back all the shame.
Letting go of the stuff was easier than letting go of the shame--that I'm still working on.
Have you seen a doctor to evaluate you for possible depression? What does your alcoholism recovery look like?
I know I'm being quite transparent here, but it is in the hopes of helping others.
.
My father was a tv show worthy hoarder. It consumed his whole life.
I am aware that when I am buying things I neither need nor want that I am trying to drown out everything else. Yes, very similar to drinking.
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself
Spacegoat, I hope you find some insight into how you ended up with so much "stuff". Because in my experience it is the "why" of acquiring it that I need to address.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,174
Originally Posted by 2ndhandrose
My father was a tv show worthy hoarder. It consumed his whole life.
:
:
Mine too.
My father hoarded cars.....he really did have the whole set. Except they were all the real thing.
As he aged they slowly deteriorated with him. It was sad and agonising to watch these beautiful things all fall apart because he could neither let go of them or look after them.
Other car guys would come to look. Over the years they went from marvelling at the Aladdin's cave to a kind of frustration that if he can't look after them then why can't you let them go to someone who can and wants to.
It is so true that the things you own......come to own you. It has deeply shaped my attitude towards 'stuff'. I throw out, sell, pass on.
It's all just 'stuff'.....own it, don't be defined by it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 371
Oh my goodness. I am happy you posted this thread. Thank you.
As the fogg wears off and im able to make better decisions.....guess what..... I am horder. I have sh$t everywhere. Especially electronics and dodads. My mother is a full on horder. She has a problem but she is super old and isnt changing.
But I could change. I need to get rid of stuff in the worst way. I might be too cheap to give it away, and garage sales are a pain in the butt. I need a hording plan. HELP.
As the fogg wears off and im able to make better decisions.....guess what..... I am horder. I have sh$t everywhere. Especially electronics and dodads. My mother is a full on horder. She has a problem but she is super old and isnt changing.
But I could change. I need to get rid of stuff in the worst way. I might be too cheap to give it away, and garage sales are a pain in the butt. I need a hording plan. HELP.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: North East
Posts: 621
Originally Posted by Spacegoat
Ok so, this is embarrassing!
I'm not the atypical hoarder like that you may see on the telly. I am a collector of sorts, and was always good at saving.
But I just have way too much stuff man. And a lot of it is good stuff, which is the problem.
Bags upon bags of designer clothes for example. The best of kids toys also. Cd's, records, books etc…
Most of my stuff is not even here. But what I do have here is already too much, and a bit of a problem.
I don't know where to begin. I've always wanted to start an ebay shop but in reality, thats a lot of work.
And I can't even cope with day to day stuff. I'm a bit depressed right now and not sleeping very well.
It doesn't even seem like I'l have space to sort through it here which is obviously what I'l need to do.
Just bags and boxes of all random things. So how am I going to decide what's really useful and whats not?
And also what is worth a few bob and what isn't. I can't just be giving things away that I worked hard to buy.
Or can I? Expensive items though, when I already have little to nothing myself.
It's true what they say, 'the things you own end up owning you' in some ways.
I would love to just chuck it all and walk off into the sunset! Help me please
I'm not the atypical hoarder like that you may see on the telly. I am a collector of sorts, and was always good at saving.
But I just have way too much stuff man. And a lot of it is good stuff, which is the problem.
Bags upon bags of designer clothes for example. The best of kids toys also. Cd's, records, books etc…
Most of my stuff is not even here. But what I do have here is already too much, and a bit of a problem.
I don't know where to begin. I've always wanted to start an ebay shop but in reality, thats a lot of work.
And I can't even cope with day to day stuff. I'm a bit depressed right now and not sleeping very well.
It doesn't even seem like I'l have space to sort through it here which is obviously what I'l need to do.
Just bags and boxes of all random things. So how am I going to decide what's really useful and whats not?
And also what is worth a few bob and what isn't. I can't just be giving things away that I worked hard to buy.
Or can I? Expensive items though, when I already have little to nothing myself.
It's true what they say, 'the things you own end up owning you' in some ways.
I would love to just chuck it all and walk off into the sunset! Help me please
The way to go is the Ebay store I have one myself and it's very easy.
You take pictures of your stuff with your phone
Get yourself an Ebay account .....#866-540-3229. They will help you get started. You can purchase mailer bags and boxes and just charge shipping to cover the cost.
Go on Ebay site and do a search on your item to get an idea of what your item is worth.
Have fun with it and watch the money come in.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: North East
Posts: 621
Originally Posted by canguy
.....this hits a nerve.
Mine too.
My father hoarded cars.....he really did have the whole set. Except they were all the real thing.
As he aged they slowly deteriorated with him. It was sad and agonising to watch these beautiful things all fall apart because he could neither let go of them or look after them.
Other car guys would come to look. Over the years they went from marvelling at the Aladdin's cave to a kind of frustration that if he can't look after them then why can't you let them go to someone who can and wants to.
It is so true that the things you own......come to own you. It has deeply shaped my attitude towards 'stuff'. I throw out, sell, pass on.
It's all just 'stuff'.....own it, don't be defined by it.
Mine too.
My father hoarded cars.....he really did have the whole set. Except they were all the real thing.
As he aged they slowly deteriorated with him. It was sad and agonising to watch these beautiful things all fall apart because he could neither let go of them or look after them.
Other car guys would come to look. Over the years they went from marvelling at the Aladdin's cave to a kind of frustration that if he can't look after them then why can't you let them go to someone who can and wants to.
It is so true that the things you own......come to own you. It has deeply shaped my attitude towards 'stuff'. I throw out, sell, pass on.
It's all just 'stuff'.....own it, don't be defined by it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: North East
Posts: 621
Originally Posted by Centered3
Hugs, Spacegoat! We've all had embarrassing stuff happen. I've been there with the atypical hoarding.
The tv shows I think show the most extreme cases. Our type of hoarding probably would bore viewers as its not so exciting.
Been there. I tried to sell stuff, but it became a full time job with taking photos, looking up prices, calling resale shops, trying to figure out things like ebay, etc. I didn't have worthwhile stuff so it wasn't really worth putting the time in. I decided not to do Craig's List because I've heard too many bad experiences from it.
Sell it or let it go to Good Will or Salvation Army and learn the lesson. For me, my buying stuff was to fill the same hole that alcohol tried to fill. I hated all the stuff I bought and don't really miss it, although my mind sometimes tries to tell me that I do. ;-)
Don't keep stuff just because you spent a lot of your hard earned money on it, or else you'll never let the stuff go and it'll just take up space. Plus every time you see it, it will bring back all the shame.
Letting go of the stuff was easier than letting go of the shame--that I'm still working on.
Seeing that its a problem is a good first step. Now you need to take action to solve the problem. Take it from me, who spent way too long being overwhelmed by the problem, drowning in the problem, or staying paralyzed in the problem, beating myself up over it. Don't do that. Don't overthink it. Just do. Put on some energizing music and just start somewhere.
As I wrote above, I chose to not go that route. I had joined another fellowship, Debtor's Anonymous, because my spending, clutter and credit cards were becoming an addiction like alcohol. It's hard to explain to someone--it's an addiction you'd have to personally go through to understand. I don't even know if there's a forum here on SR for that addiction. There's a lot of shame in it. Anyways, my sponsor there told me that her sister had an ebay shop but she was retired and it was a full-time job of work.
I was very much like this, too, before I did my big book step work. It was hard enough for me to muster the energy to wash my face and brush my teeth due to depression/anxiety. Anytime I walked into a room full of clutter it literally sucked the energy and life out of me. Anytime I'd try to declutter, I'd end up in a big pile of stuff, with no idea what to do with any of it, it'd all overwhelm me, and I'd end up just crying and feeling completely defeated.
Have you seen a doctor to evaluate you for possible depression? What does your alcoholism recovery look like? Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss further if I can help share my experience to help you.
You don't need much space. If you take it room by room, or even just shelf by shelf, or drawer by drawer, you won't need much. The most important thing I learned from the books I read, was to do just that.
It also helps to put like things in one pile and then sort.
Take it one bag at a time. One box at a time. Ask yourself these questions:
(1) Do I need this?
(2) Do I love it?
(3) Have I used this in the last 6 months?
(4) Do I have a duplicate of it?
This is something you're just gonna have to deal with. There are a few things I regret giving away, and I just have to live with the fact that I'll never be perfect at decluttering.
I don't know if you're a spiritual person or not, but after buying dozens of books on decluttering (actually I did find 1-2 useful, I can PM you the names if you want), I asked God/higher power to help me declutter. Basically the premise was, it cleared my mind to ask for help/pray, which enabled me to reach the healthy part inside of me to make decisions of what to keep or what to get rid of. I hope that makes sense.
I had to force myself to stop thinking about how much something cost. Then again for me, I had a ton of inexpensive things and not a lot of pricey things but the sum of it all I knew was a lot. Stuff I got as gifts that I never used, I did donate.
Another option would be to see if your town has a facebook garage sale group. Then plan to meet the buyer in a parking lot of a police station and have a friend go with you.
I've read that if you keep pricey stuff in your closet that you don't wear, it's time to let it go and "give it away to the universe" in the hopes that someone else who actually needs it and will find use for it, will use it.
It made me feel good intrinsically to know I was giving away clothes to the needy. There are various charities that take specific things. Dress for Success helps women in need to get back on their feet with interview and work clothes. My mother also helped me find a charity to donate my bridesmaid dresses to girls who couldn't afford prom dresses. I am in the middle of doing research to donate my wedding dress to a charity that makes burial outfits for babies who have died. Stuff I got as wedding gifts that I've never used and never plan to use I've just sort of thanked the giver in my thoughts, and donated them.
For a compulsive overspender/credit card debtor like me, that quote couldn't be more true. Sure it wouldn't have killed me like alcohol, but it completely killed my soul and made me nuts because I tried to stop and I didn't understand why I couldn't (Sounds like alcoholism, doesn't it?) I attempted suicide because I could not get a handle on all this crazy compulsive obsessive buying sh*t I didn't even want, like, or need. My alcoholic mind didn't just seek alcohol.
I know I'm being quite transparent here, but it is in the hopes of helping others.
I went through dozens of cycles of buying, then cutting up my cards, donating all my crap and decluttering, reading a ton of books on decluttering and simplifying my life, etc., only to have it return and worse each time. It's gotten about 90% better once I did the steps with a big book sponsor and brought God/my Higher Power into the process. Sorry I know you all must hate my saying that but it's just my truth and my experience.
I know. Getting rid of it is one, thing, but dealing with the root cause is another. My root cause was the alcoholic mind trying to fill the hole in the soul.
Please PM me if you want to discuss more.
The tv shows I think show the most extreme cases. Our type of hoarding probably would bore viewers as its not so exciting.
Been there. I tried to sell stuff, but it became a full time job with taking photos, looking up prices, calling resale shops, trying to figure out things like ebay, etc. I didn't have worthwhile stuff so it wasn't really worth putting the time in. I decided not to do Craig's List because I've heard too many bad experiences from it.
Sell it or let it go to Good Will or Salvation Army and learn the lesson. For me, my buying stuff was to fill the same hole that alcohol tried to fill. I hated all the stuff I bought and don't really miss it, although my mind sometimes tries to tell me that I do. ;-)
Don't keep stuff just because you spent a lot of your hard earned money on it, or else you'll never let the stuff go and it'll just take up space. Plus every time you see it, it will bring back all the shame.
Letting go of the stuff was easier than letting go of the shame--that I'm still working on.
Seeing that its a problem is a good first step. Now you need to take action to solve the problem. Take it from me, who spent way too long being overwhelmed by the problem, drowning in the problem, or staying paralyzed in the problem, beating myself up over it. Don't do that. Don't overthink it. Just do. Put on some energizing music and just start somewhere.
As I wrote above, I chose to not go that route. I had joined another fellowship, Debtor's Anonymous, because my spending, clutter and credit cards were becoming an addiction like alcohol. It's hard to explain to someone--it's an addiction you'd have to personally go through to understand. I don't even know if there's a forum here on SR for that addiction. There's a lot of shame in it. Anyways, my sponsor there told me that her sister had an ebay shop but she was retired and it was a full-time job of work.
I was very much like this, too, before I did my big book step work. It was hard enough for me to muster the energy to wash my face and brush my teeth due to depression/anxiety. Anytime I walked into a room full of clutter it literally sucked the energy and life out of me. Anytime I'd try to declutter, I'd end up in a big pile of stuff, with no idea what to do with any of it, it'd all overwhelm me, and I'd end up just crying and feeling completely defeated.
Have you seen a doctor to evaluate you for possible depression? What does your alcoholism recovery look like? Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss further if I can help share my experience to help you.
You don't need much space. If you take it room by room, or even just shelf by shelf, or drawer by drawer, you won't need much. The most important thing I learned from the books I read, was to do just that.
It also helps to put like things in one pile and then sort.
Take it one bag at a time. One box at a time. Ask yourself these questions:
(1) Do I need this?
(2) Do I love it?
(3) Have I used this in the last 6 months?
(4) Do I have a duplicate of it?
This is something you're just gonna have to deal with. There are a few things I regret giving away, and I just have to live with the fact that I'll never be perfect at decluttering.
I don't know if you're a spiritual person or not, but after buying dozens of books on decluttering (actually I did find 1-2 useful, I can PM you the names if you want), I asked God/higher power to help me declutter. Basically the premise was, it cleared my mind to ask for help/pray, which enabled me to reach the healthy part inside of me to make decisions of what to keep or what to get rid of. I hope that makes sense.
I had to force myself to stop thinking about how much something cost. Then again for me, I had a ton of inexpensive things and not a lot of pricey things but the sum of it all I knew was a lot. Stuff I got as gifts that I never used, I did donate.
Another option would be to see if your town has a facebook garage sale group. Then plan to meet the buyer in a parking lot of a police station and have a friend go with you.
I've read that if you keep pricey stuff in your closet that you don't wear, it's time to let it go and "give it away to the universe" in the hopes that someone else who actually needs it and will find use for it, will use it.
It made me feel good intrinsically to know I was giving away clothes to the needy. There are various charities that take specific things. Dress for Success helps women in need to get back on their feet with interview and work clothes. My mother also helped me find a charity to donate my bridesmaid dresses to girls who couldn't afford prom dresses. I am in the middle of doing research to donate my wedding dress to a charity that makes burial outfits for babies who have died. Stuff I got as wedding gifts that I've never used and never plan to use I've just sort of thanked the giver in my thoughts, and donated them.
For a compulsive overspender/credit card debtor like me, that quote couldn't be more true. Sure it wouldn't have killed me like alcohol, but it completely killed my soul and made me nuts because I tried to stop and I didn't understand why I couldn't (Sounds like alcoholism, doesn't it?) I attempted suicide because I could not get a handle on all this crazy compulsive obsessive buying sh*t I didn't even want, like, or need. My alcoholic mind didn't just seek alcohol.
I know I'm being quite transparent here, but it is in the hopes of helping others.
I went through dozens of cycles of buying, then cutting up my cards, donating all my crap and decluttering, reading a ton of books on decluttering and simplifying my life, etc., only to have it return and worse each time. It's gotten about 90% better once I did the steps with a big book sponsor and brought God/my Higher Power into the process. Sorry I know you all must hate my saying that but it's just my truth and my experience.
I know.
Getting rid of it is one, thing, but dealing with the root cause is another. My root cause was the alcoholic mind trying to fill the hole in the soul. Please PM me if you want to discuss more.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: North East
Posts: 621
Originally Posted by MLD51
Thank you, centered. That gives me a lot of good ideas for the glut of stuff in my house. It's starting to be one of the biggest causes of anxiety for me. I want to sell my house and get a smaller one, because mine is way too big for me. There used to be four people living there, and now it's just me and my son, and he will be (hopefully!) gone off to college in 3 years. But when I look around at all the STUFF I just feel hopeless and anxious. This spring I'm going to get a dumpster and start doing the big sort. I know there's lots of stuff that can just be thrown away. Then I'll put some of it aside for a garage sale. They are a big deal in my town. Other items will be donated. It's embarrassing, but I have one entire bedroom devoted to storing stuff. I haven't needed or used any of it in a long time. I put it all in there thinking if I didn't use it, away it goes. So, away it will go.
I'm getting anxious just thinking about it right now...
I'm getting anxious just thinking about it right now...
I completely understand your frustration....my last daughter went off to college last September so I began the clean out of 18 years worth of STUFF. I must have gone to Goodwill at least 15 times and the dump about 10 times but, I didn't do it all in one day I did it well.....its January now. I still have to move furniture out because I moved in with my boyfriend of 9 years.
Well I guess I am trying to say take a deep breath and take your time......
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Boston Ma
Posts: 980
Such great advice here. I have tackled one space at a time, like one closet or one drawer. My H is the type to heave everything, doesn't even look at what he's throwing away. This has been an area we have differed over the years. He thinks I like to be surrounded by "junk," I've just been overwhelmed. Doing it one thing at a time has helped us. The saddest thing is when I've been cleaning the spare rooms and have founds empty nips, lots of them, that my now deceased neighbor hid here. I miss her so, I wish she and I had tackled sobriety, neat living together.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
I am quite the opposite of a hoarder in materialistic terms and very much dislike accumulating surplus. There were times in my life when I moved to a new place with little more than a couple suitcases. A few times I actually threw out important things in some compulsive cleaning effort. The stuff I tended to hoard and carry with me everywhere over many years were my books and with time they started to occupy too much space, so one day I decided to give most of them away to a local library and to other people. I also ended up throwing out a few that I could not find a new home for. It felt a bit like giving up a part of me, but was eventually quite liberating. Now I read and have a library in electronic formats and only buy paper books when there is no other option. Same with music, I used to have a large collection of CDs, then got rid of them, and now I only use electronic media and equipment.
There are studies showing that people who experienced attachment trauma early in life tend to become hoarders. Here is an article about it:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...eaction-trauma
If this seems relevant, perhaps working on those original memories and experiences might help some.
My mother had certain types of hoarding tendencies that definitely fit with having a traumatic and depriving childhood. A main feature was that she would get expensive, fancy things for herself and the family, eg. clothes or kitchenware, but would never use that for herself or for us. A lot of these objects just sat in cabinets for some imagined future time when we would have guests or some special occasion, as though our family did not deserve using them. She also often spent much more money on food than was not necessary and a lot of it just went bad and to waste. My father was intensely frustrated with these behaviors and they often had fights over it. I can't say that she ever resolved it as far as I could see but I think a bit of external pressure was helpful for her not to be so attached and protective of those things and not to waste resources on stuff that she would never use. It was like accumulating things "just in case" but the time to actually use them would never come.
I think collecting specific things for the sake of enjoying them is different, but it can also reflect a self-protection mechanism when the collector identifies too much with the collection, for example as a unique expertise that gives a sense of self-worth. I tended to do this with abstract, theoretical things when I was younger, like knowledge and information of various areas. Developing expertise in various areas and providing it to others would make me value myself more. Made me feel that I was able to contribute something. I still have this tendency to a lesser extent but try to stay aware not to equate self-worth with these mental collections.
It sounds like you have different types of things you accumulate, Spacegoat. Maybe instead of aiming to get rid of all of them at once, focus on specific object groups at a time. There are many websites to sell specific items other than the very well-known ones like eBay, Amazon, Craigslist; they can be found via google.
There are studies showing that people who experienced attachment trauma early in life tend to become hoarders. Here is an article about it:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...eaction-trauma
If this seems relevant, perhaps working on those original memories and experiences might help some.
My mother had certain types of hoarding tendencies that definitely fit with having a traumatic and depriving childhood. A main feature was that she would get expensive, fancy things for herself and the family, eg. clothes or kitchenware, but would never use that for herself or for us. A lot of these objects just sat in cabinets for some imagined future time when we would have guests or some special occasion, as though our family did not deserve using them. She also often spent much more money on food than was not necessary and a lot of it just went bad and to waste. My father was intensely frustrated with these behaviors and they often had fights over it. I can't say that she ever resolved it as far as I could see but I think a bit of external pressure was helpful for her not to be so attached and protective of those things and not to waste resources on stuff that she would never use. It was like accumulating things "just in case" but the time to actually use them would never come.
I think collecting specific things for the sake of enjoying them is different, but it can also reflect a self-protection mechanism when the collector identifies too much with the collection, for example as a unique expertise that gives a sense of self-worth. I tended to do this with abstract, theoretical things when I was younger, like knowledge and information of various areas. Developing expertise in various areas and providing it to others would make me value myself more. Made me feel that I was able to contribute something. I still have this tendency to a lesser extent but try to stay aware not to equate self-worth with these mental collections.
It sounds like you have different types of things you accumulate, Spacegoat. Maybe instead of aiming to get rid of all of them at once, focus on specific object groups at a time. There are many websites to sell specific items other than the very well-known ones like eBay, Amazon, Craigslist; they can be found via google.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 936
Originally Posted by canguy
Not laughing at you at all......I tried to suggest a really luxe solution....
ebay sucks.....it's for buyers. As a seller you don't get what the lead buyer is prepared to pay.....just whatever is a little above the current bid when it closes.
I've hurt your feelings, made it hard to be honest here for you. My apologies.
ebay sucks.....it's for buyers. As a seller you don't get what the lead buyer is prepared to pay.....just whatever is a little above the current bid when it closes.
I've hurt your feelings, made it hard to be honest here for you. My apologies.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 936
Originally Posted by 2ndhandrose
C3, you have given a very thoughtful and detailed response. Whether it is full on hoarding or over shopping, it is much more complicated than it appears on the surface.
My father was a tv show worthy hoarder. It consumed his whole life.
I am aware that when I am buying things I neither need nor want that I am trying to drown out everything else. Yes, very similar to drinking.
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself
Sometimes in an open AA meeting in which I can talk about other addictions as long as I make it about experience + solution (steps), people will share "shopping spree" stories with me during fellowship, but I just smile and don't say anything. I know they are just trying to connect and understand, or see if they have the same addiction.
I get eye rolls from a recovered person who doesn't get it, if it's not about drugs or alcohol. He also rolls his eyes with an alcoholic who is also an overeater who almost died from that disease, too. I can see where his recovery is at and I pray for him. I used to be that way too. He's probably identifying with the substance vs identifying with the problem.
I have only had one person share something that I felt was an addiction, and thankfully I was able to help him understand his experience by sharing mine. He was relieved. For him, it was a transfer of addiction when he gave up drinking but before he did steps out of the big book. He never understood it before he heard me speak about mine.
A spree here and there is not an addiction, unless it's a whole lot of sprees that eventually keep building and growing until it consumes your mind and thinking and action. Kinda of like alcoholism, no?
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 936
Originally Posted by canguy
.....this hits a nerve.
Mine too.
My father hoarded cars.....
It is so true that the things you own......come to own you. It has deeply shaped my attitude towards 'stuff'. I throw out, sell, pass on.
It's all just 'stuff'.....own it, don't be defined by it.
Mine too.
My father hoarded cars.....
It is so true that the things you own......come to own you. It has deeply shaped my attitude towards 'stuff'. I throw out, sell, pass on.
It's all just 'stuff'.....own it, don't be defined by it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
Hi. Yeah I've been avoiding this thread just like the real thing. Total mental block.
One good thing is that I've stopped accumulating. Accumulating went in to overdrive when I was homeless.
Had to be out during the day in the shelter so I collected hundreds upon hundreds of 2nd hand books within months.
That's what kept me sane and from drinking during the day (most). I was dealing with earth shattering stuff which I told no one.
Then in the hosteI I arrived in my johns and left with a quite a bit. Obviously I needed clothes so I went around thrift stores again.
And with the focus on housing, I was picking up others things as well. And stuff for others, and for the future etc.
I have always been buying for the future for some reason. But those aren't the issue (apart from 1k books) so much.
It's everything else I've ever owned. That has to go, too many bad memories. And there is a lot as I never had any good system for getting rid of stuff. Nothing ever came easy to me before also, so maybe thats why.
But basically it's almost traumatic for me to approach these bags & boxes. And I don't have very much space to sort through them all other than the space which I am living in, so that makes for chaos.
I'l definitely feel better to be rid of this stuff, thats actually my plan for here. Just having trouble getting started.
There are indeed complex issues as others have pointed out, it's not just a matter of being greedy or mean. I do plan to give most of it away.
I wonder if a short term script of xanax or similar would help?
Somebody I trust is giving me a hand to get started on it tomorrow and I was even hoping to start tonight. But every time I approach it kinda fold (I lie down or go out etc)
This is my biggest problem in the here and now tbh.
One good thing is that I've stopped accumulating. Accumulating went in to overdrive when I was homeless.
Had to be out during the day in the shelter so I collected hundreds upon hundreds of 2nd hand books within months.
That's what kept me sane and from drinking during the day (most). I was dealing with earth shattering stuff which I told no one.
Then in the hosteI I arrived in my johns and left with a quite a bit. Obviously I needed clothes so I went around thrift stores again.
And with the focus on housing, I was picking up others things as well. And stuff for others, and for the future etc.
I have always been buying for the future for some reason. But those aren't the issue (apart from 1k books) so much.
It's everything else I've ever owned. That has to go, too many bad memories. And there is a lot as I never had any good system for getting rid of stuff. Nothing ever came easy to me before also, so maybe thats why.
But basically it's almost traumatic for me to approach these bags & boxes. And I don't have very much space to sort through them all other than the space which I am living in, so that makes for chaos.
I'l definitely feel better to be rid of this stuff, thats actually my plan for here. Just having trouble getting started.
There are indeed complex issues as others have pointed out, it's not just a matter of being greedy or mean. I do plan to give most of it away.
I wonder if a short term script of xanax or similar would help?
Somebody I trust is giving me a hand to get started on it tomorrow and I was even hoping to start tonight. But every time I approach it kinda fold (I lie down or go out etc)
This is my biggest problem in the here and now tbh.
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