Hoarding...
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Originally Posted by Centered3 
You give excellent advice here. But for someone like me or your father or 2ndhandrose's father, that's similar to telling an alcoholic to "just drink like a gentleman". 
Exactly, c3
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
Just done reading the thread, it's very interesting.
Centered you're somewhat of a guru on the topic. Well done on your progress.
Aellyce interesting comment, I relate as seen this behavior down through generations also.
Spoke with my therapist about it today, he was in full on analysis mode.
I read a bit online also. Some obvious identification like the constant moving or growing up in a cluttered home etc.
There was a link on the NHS website titled 'What to do if you suspect someone is hoarding'…
Gee I dunno… Call the police?! In all seriousness though I do feel bad kinda.
Centered you're somewhat of a guru on the topic. Well done on your progress.
Aellyce interesting comment, I relate as seen this behavior down through generations also.
Spoke with my therapist about it today, he was in full on analysis mode.
I read a bit online also. Some obvious identification like the constant moving or growing up in a cluttered home etc.
There was a link on the NHS website titled 'What to do if you suspect someone is hoarding'…
Gee I dunno… Call the police?! In all seriousness though I do feel bad kinda.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 371
Thanks to this thread im going to start to unload. Start small, one thing a week. Pick the item, make a plan of getting it out of the house.... and actually execute, and do it.
I have to stop saying to myself, "ill use that one day"....... because i dont.
I have to stop saying to myself, "ill use that one day"....... because i dont.
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,384
My ex-wife had filled up our house with so many boxes of useless stuff that we both ended up feeling trapped and resenting each other. We both wanted to sell the house but we didn't have the moxie to face all that mess, so it kept getting worse. And then she just took off one day, after some arguments. She just couldn't face it anymore. And I was complicit, of course. After our divorce, my dad came down and helped me clean it all up. Completely different house now, pretty nice in fact.
Most of the boxes are still stacked up in the garage to this day. She doesn't want this garbage at all now.
Most of the boxes are still stacked up in the garage to this day. She doesn't want this garbage at all now.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 371
Spacegoat. You can do this!
Im going to start small. My mind feels clutter as the shelves I look at. Good God, no ones needs this stuff. Im putting a band on plastic. My kids have plastic everywhere. Its sickening. My parents taught me to be frugal and save , save. But its gotten over board.
I have tried selling things over the internet before. It works, but its a lot of work. People dont show up. I have nice stuff, so i dont totally want to give it away, so im going to try and give it to friends.
Keep us posted on your success. Im interested on how it goes.
Im going to start small. My mind feels clutter as the shelves I look at. Good God, no ones needs this stuff. Im putting a band on plastic. My kids have plastic everywhere. Its sickening. My parents taught me to be frugal and save , save. But its gotten over board.
I have tried selling things over the internet before. It works, but its a lot of work. People dont show up. I have nice stuff, so i dont totally want to give it away, so im going to try and give it to friends.
Keep us posted on your success. Im interested on how it goes.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
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Originally Posted by Spacegoat
Just done reading the thread, it's very interesting.
Centered you're somewhat of a guru on the topic. Well done on your progress.
Centered you're somewhat of a guru on the topic. Well done on your progress.
Thanks but I'm still a work in progress. I've also had a much higher bottom than those you see on tv.
Aellyce interesting comment, I relate as seen this behavior down through generations also.
Spoke with my therapist about it today, he was in full on analysis mode.
GOOD LUCK, SPACEGOAT! Just take it one thing at a time.
I once read somewhere that when you give up useless clutter, it makes room for something new.
Also, there is freedom in open and clear spaces. I used to feel "empty" if I saw an empty cabinet and I compulsively would fill it. I'm still a work in progress but there is peace in the calmness without the calamity of the clutter.
An uncluttered mind also helps keep an uncluttered space. I found that too by working on letting go of the past or worrying about the future and sticking with the present moment.
Keep us posted.
Also I am not a licensed therapist, I'm just someone sharing my experience. So whatever your therapist says trumps whatever I say. I'm also glad you have a friend to help you with the actual decluttering.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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Mine said something similar. I haven't been in therapy long although do feel that we had reached a few conclusions nonetheless.
I meant to say that to him. Those conclusions are that essentially a lifetimes work is needed too though, from what I'd gather.
Letting go of the past is one thing and worrying about the future another. I have one foot in each, when they're on the ground!
On a positive tip regarding hoarding/clutter I made a start on teh problem last night (WB). Was up all night even.
Just clearing pathway through, lol. And like you said too Snazzy, gee it's not a bad little place!
My friend dropped round some crates earlier. Idea is for me to organize what I'm keeping (classic rock cd's e.g.) and also what to sell maybe. As I do have nice things also.
The rest will be difficult. I too would like to hand pick things out for friends, and do when I can. But thats kinda defeating the purpose.
At least I can feel good about giving back to thrift stores as I've relied on them myself in recent years. It would be much more difficult otherwise (is what I'm thinking).
We'll see
Feeling positive though. I've actually made another little mess since by looking for my backup charger, doh!
I meant to say that to him. Those conclusions are that essentially a lifetimes work is needed too though, from what I'd gather.
Letting go of the past is one thing and worrying about the future another. I have one foot in each, when they're on the ground!
On a positive tip regarding hoarding/clutter I made a start on teh problem last night (WB). Was up all night even.
Just clearing pathway through, lol. And like you said too Snazzy, gee it's not a bad little place!
My friend dropped round some crates earlier. Idea is for me to organize what I'm keeping (classic rock cd's e.g.) and also what to sell maybe. As I do have nice things also.
The rest will be difficult. I too would like to hand pick things out for friends, and do when I can. But thats kinda defeating the purpose.
At least I can feel good about giving back to thrift stores as I've relied on them myself in recent years. It would be much more difficult otherwise (is what I'm thinking).
We'll see
Feeling positive though. I've actually made another little mess since by looking for my backup charger, doh!
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
*A lifestime commitment I should say. Learned that on here. Anyway, thanks for the encouragement.
Getting an early night tonight. Most certainly should begin with this packing tomorrow though.
Very clever of my friend to suggest beginning with what to keep, that should take the sting out of it.
He's a good guy and very knowledgeable also. Will update again tomorrow, cheers.
Getting an early night tonight. Most certainly should begin with this packing tomorrow though.
Very clever of my friend to suggest beginning with what to keep, that should take the sting out of it.
He's a good guy and very knowledgeable also. Will update again tomorrow, cheers.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
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Great to hear a positive update, Spacegoat!
One thing in case I forgot to mention that I learned from the professional organizer--with the items you do keep, make sure they each have a home. The idea for that is, instead of having 5 pencil sharpeners throughout your space because you buy a new one when you can't find the ones you have, you just have one. And the one has a home so you will know where to find it and know where to put it away.
The other thought I had: you said you didn't have room to sort stuff. Hmm maybe you can empty one bag at a time and label it with a magic marker "Bag #1) and write on a clip board it's contents. That way, if you're up to bag #8 and you can't remember if you already own a pair of black sneakers or something, you can check back to the written list.
I'm just thinking that may work since you said you don't have a lot of room to sort? What do you think?
Also, when you're in the final stage of sorting, keep like with like. That helped me a lot so I could see just how many black pairs of pants I actually had. And then it was a lot easier to know how many to give a way and which to keep. And it kept the ones I was keeping together.
Finally, whatever you know for sure you are giving away (I tried not to give away something I would later regret parting with, and I found making quick decisions of keep/toss/donate really helped), put them in a car immediately before you change your mind. It'll clear up the sorting space a lot, too.
Whatever you're just unsure of, put in a box and check back to it in 6 months.
If you have something that's sentimental but you just have no room for, take a photo of it and see if that will suffice. But don't get rid of stuff that's all sentimental.
Example: if you inherited your grandfather's garage of tools, keep three you know you'll use like a hammer, wrench, screw driver and not everything. If your grandmother gave you her entire 50 piece set of ceramic turtles, keep 1 or 2 you like best to remember her by.
I hope this helps?
One thing in case I forgot to mention that I learned from the professional organizer--with the items you do keep, make sure they each have a home. The idea for that is, instead of having 5 pencil sharpeners throughout your space because you buy a new one when you can't find the ones you have, you just have one. And the one has a home so you will know where to find it and know where to put it away.
The other thought I had: you said you didn't have room to sort stuff. Hmm maybe you can empty one bag at a time and label it with a magic marker "Bag #1) and write on a clip board it's contents. That way, if you're up to bag #8 and you can't remember if you already own a pair of black sneakers or something, you can check back to the written list.
I'm just thinking that may work since you said you don't have a lot of room to sort? What do you think?
Also, when you're in the final stage of sorting, keep like with like. That helped me a lot so I could see just how many black pairs of pants I actually had. And then it was a lot easier to know how many to give a way and which to keep. And it kept the ones I was keeping together.
Finally, whatever you know for sure you are giving away (I tried not to give away something I would later regret parting with, and I found making quick decisions of keep/toss/donate really helped), put them in a car immediately before you change your mind. It'll clear up the sorting space a lot, too.
Whatever you're just unsure of, put in a box and check back to it in 6 months.
If you have something that's sentimental but you just have no room for, take a photo of it and see if that will suffice. But don't get rid of stuff that's all sentimental.
Example: if you inherited your grandfather's garage of tools, keep three you know you'll use like a hammer, wrench, screw driver and not everything. If your grandmother gave you her entire 50 piece set of ceramic turtles, keep 1 or 2 you like best to remember her by.
I hope this helps?
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 418
Hi SpaceGoat - You sound like you might be able to make some money from what you have laying about.
I run an Ebay store and have a couple of shipping containers worth of stuff and also around the house, so I have an idea of what you're talking about.
If you're interested in learning how to move your stuff to Ebay, I would start here: www.reddit.com/r/flipping. Loads of people to give you advice on how to move just about anything. And make money. Post on the newbie thread if you're not sure.
I run an Ebay store and have a couple of shipping containers worth of stuff and also around the house, so I have an idea of what you're talking about.
If you're interested in learning how to move your stuff to Ebay, I would start here: www.reddit.com/r/flipping. Loads of people to give you advice on how to move just about anything. And make money. Post on the newbie thread if you're not sure.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 371
This thread really has me thinking the connection between clutter shelves and cluttered mind. I want my mind back, so I need to uncluttered the shelves. I have ten Phillips screw drivers! And Im not even handy, couldn't fix a thing.
I started in the garage today. Got rid of some stuff. Lots more to go. But its starting in the right direction.
I started in the garage today. Got rid of some stuff. Lots more to go. But its starting in the right direction.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
I have long equated my minding clearing with my space being cleaned up and organized.
"Stuff" is a big source of stress for me, as is the disorganization of it.
I always feel so much more at peace after I have purged and organized.
This is a fantastic thread!
"Stuff" is a big source of stress for me, as is the disorganization of it.
I always feel so much more at peace after I have purged and organized.
This is a fantastic thread!
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Feng Shui
I believe there is something to the Feng Shui concept: .... Harmonizing oneself with one's surroundings.
Just speaking for myself I feel better and more 'clean' when I don't hang on to stuff that a.)I don't really like/love, b.)enjoy, c.)value, d.) have some use for.
Don't get me wrong: I can hang on to stuff that doesn't fit the above just as easily as the next person, but I like to have a clean, organized "space". I like my home and surroundings to have some element of PEACE, I guess you could say. So, to that end>>>peace>>>I tend to arrange my stuff. I also enjoy throwing in an artistic flair where ever I can. I love COLOR. Both muted and bold.
My MIL is the most severe clutter-billy in my life. She's been a hoarder for years and there doesn't seem to be anything to stop her. It's hard to be in her house. She has stuff piled up so high it's hard to get around. But, she can be fierce when it comes to her 'stuff'. He husband, my FIL, is the opposite. So, their home is sort of a clash of wills most of the time. He secretly gives things of hers away she doesn't even realize....shhhh...don't tell her....or she would pitch a fit. We've gotten to where we just sort of joke about it as we know she will not likely change anyways.....
Just speaking for myself I feel better and more 'clean' when I don't hang on to stuff that a.)I don't really like/love, b.)enjoy, c.)value, d.) have some use for.
Don't get me wrong: I can hang on to stuff that doesn't fit the above just as easily as the next person, but I like to have a clean, organized "space". I like my home and surroundings to have some element of PEACE, I guess you could say. So, to that end>>>peace>>>I tend to arrange my stuff. I also enjoy throwing in an artistic flair where ever I can. I love COLOR. Both muted and bold.
My MIL is the most severe clutter-billy in my life. She's been a hoarder for years and there doesn't seem to be anything to stop her. It's hard to be in her house. She has stuff piled up so high it's hard to get around. But, she can be fierce when it comes to her 'stuff'. He husband, my FIL, is the opposite. So, their home is sort of a clash of wills most of the time. He secretly gives things of hers away she doesn't even realize....shhhh...don't tell her....or she would pitch a fit. We've gotten to where we just sort of joke about it as we know she will not likely change anyways.....
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
God bless my MIL. She actually tried to 'manage' her hoarding issue there for awhile by opening up a store to sell her things. She did that for several years. She really did and does have some nice collectibles too. When she closed the store down she ended up donating truck loads of things back to the very thrift stores she used to frequent shopping for collectibles....so in a way some of the stuff she amassed came full circle (?). So last year, my daughter was going to try and sell some of MIL's stuff on Ebay and split the profit with MIL. I warned my daughter that MIL can be 'touchy' about her stuff and to "proceed with caution" if she decided to do something like that.....
Because MIL has a serious emotional attachment to her stuff.
Daughter decided not to do it and I think that is a blessing. I think eventually misunderstandings would have cropped up. She gave her some jewelry to sell, but then abruptly changed her mind and decided she didn't want to sell the jewelry after all. Anyways, there is also a little forgetfulness going on in which she can't remember what she wants to keep and what she wouldn't mind selling or where in the world she PUT IT!! Whew!
Because MIL has a serious emotional attachment to her stuff.
Daughter decided not to do it and I think that is a blessing. I think eventually misunderstandings would have cropped up. She gave her some jewelry to sell, but then abruptly changed her mind and decided she didn't want to sell the jewelry after all. Anyways, there is also a little forgetfulness going on in which she can't remember what she wants to keep and what she wouldn't mind selling or where in the world she PUT IT!! Whew!
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Join Date: Mar 2016
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Originally Posted by WhiskeyBent
This thread really has me thinking the connection between clutter shelves and cluttered mind. I want my mind back, so I need to uncluttered the shelves. I have ten Phillips screw drivers! And Im not even handy, couldn't fix a thing.
I started in the garage today. Got rid of some stuff. Lots more to go. But its starting in the right direction.
I started in the garage today. Got rid of some stuff. Lots more to go. But its starting in the right direction.
I'm impressed by everyone's progress!
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