Flossyteacake

I'm in.

Not sure what this weekend brings. The weather's not meant to be great - only around 20c and raining. Right now, the fire service are back burning the bush, ready for summer. About 30 minutes from our place there's a 183ha fire, which is just making the whole sky grey - there's been smoke over most of Sydney for much of the day. The children are wanting to go out and play but, as they're both asthmatic, I'm keeping them in. We might have a movie night instead.

Hope everyone has a good Friday planned.

cardoon

Hi Folks! Happy sober weekend.

saoutchik

Evening

Flossieteacake i suppose the fire breaks are necessary but I hope it is over and done with asap

There has been a sort of "bake off" thing going on at work, some delicious looking temptations have been available and I have weakened a couple of times

I spent some money getting a well known auction house value my 50 year old Lancia so I will soon be able to convert credit card debt into a much lower interest bank loan which will be a relief. In addition the amount is reducing in value, not because I am paying it off but because it is in £ Sterling which is sinking like a stone

Oct142016

I am a bit scared. I am stuck going to a place that has been stressful for me in the past and has caused many many nights of drinking - a Cub Scout meeting of all things. I hope and pray that everything will be ok.

Gilmer

I have a feeling I understand what you mean, Oct14. I remember really dreading "volunteering" at my kids' elementary school functions. No matter how faithful I was to pitch in and do my part, somehow I just wasn't privy to some nebulous social code that all of the other suburban moms had in common.

But I have to admit, I wasn't exactly falling all over myself to join their clique. They kept going on and on about stuff I couldn't care less about.

My kids are all out of the house now, so school obligations are a thing of the past for me.

A few weeks ago something happened that really floored me. I've been emotionally erratic ever since. I'm supposed to be better now, because the initial problem has been solved; but I've still been unbearably moody the last few days.

Today I rented my favorite movie. Usually I just enjoy it and smile, but today I cried my eyes out.

I somehow feel worthless and obsolete if I'm not making some impact every single second. When I realize that that's an impossible and wildly egotistical expectation, I beat myself up for that.

Why can't I just exist and be content? I should by rights have been back to normal a week ago.

Sorry to dump. Not tempted to drink--but I have been eating non-stop. I just stopped one compulsion and flung myself into another.

MrPL

Hi weekenders,

Oct 14 - well done for reaching out. There will always be triggers, some that you can avoid and some that you can't, but really it is not about the triggers at all.

See it this way: you could walk around with a loaded gun but commit to avoid touching the trigger at any cost. You ll be safe for a while, but sooner or later you ll slip your finger and fire.
Alternatively you could choose to walk around with an unloaded gun, then it doesn't matter how many times you slip your finger and the shot will never be fired.

If you set your mind to not drink at any cost then the gun is unloaded and you can face all of your triggers. You got this!

Gilmer - hope you feel better soon, there are good days and bad days for everyone, but be proud of yourself for staying sober through the bad times.

Time for cooking for Mrs PL here, hope everyone has a good evening.

P

Gilmer

And then I feel rotten for being needy and grasping for attention.

I feel like I don't know what's true or false in my own motivations anymore.

Maybe I wrote this on the wrong thread. Seems out of place here.

Gilmer

Thank you, PL. I just posted right over you.

I'm just blowing things way out of proportion.

At 6 I have to go to a BBQ, so I guess I'll get with the program.

saoutchik

This absolutely is not the wrong place Gilmer. If something happened that was enough to "floor"you then it is bound to take time to process whatever it was despite the initial problem being "solved" I'm sure you will understand your motivations in time Gilmer

Incidentally I never noticed but my ex wife said that some of the PTA after school mum's were just weirdly protective of their responsibilities

Oct 14 maybe you could just concentrate on the cubs activities and ignore any negative stuff. They should remember that they are lucky people volunteer for such things. Good luck tonight

Crazy Golf!

Oct142016

I have tried to stay as far away as possible from events connected to the group. I used to be in charge and had to contend with A LOT of judgemental parents. On top of that I had 2 controlling, bullying parents to contend with who ended up using their power to try and hurt my child. I seriously think I got PTSD from the whole experience. One of the parents is gone, thankfully. But the other parent is now in charge. I ended up volunteering to be in charge of my son's group at the end of last year because no one else would do it and now am stuck going to meetings and interacting with these people. I have panic attacks sitting here just thinking about it. BLAH!

As long as the person in charge doesn't start bossing me around I SHOULD be ok. But she isn't known for staying away.

Oct142016

Gilmer - yeah, that thinking gets me too.

HUGS!

Gilmer

Sao, you are so right! These housewife groups are like fiefdoms! Things can get very catty and mean. I've seen kids being deliberately excluded, too.

PurpleKnight

Count me in for the Weekend!!

I think there's something inside us all that can think of new ways to overcome whatever life throws at us, it can be done!!

Delizadee

Della, I found this and it made me think of your signature that always makes me ponder the hokey pokey.

Delizadee

Gilmer!!! We are on the same planet
the eyes crying thing too.

I just live in a bubble because I still feel like as much of a freakshow as I was when I was drinking. All over the place.
I thoroughly dislike all those mom cliques, sports coordinators, school volunteers and those stupid Aholes who baked the most perfect cake on cake-walk days.

I want to be perfect too. Instead I've reduced myself to this bumbling 3 year old who throws tantrums when I can't put round blocks into square holes. I pout in my corner.

I can't explain it to you any better than, I feel the same way.
So, here you go.

oops, I mean this one

Dee74

Best wishes to you Oct142016 - just remember this is only a few hours - you can do this.

Gilmer this is absolutely the right thread to post on - this is a support thread as much as anything else

I can identify with being useful feeding my self worth - when I got sober everything was about amends - which was very noble but I nearly burnt myself out.

Gradually, over time, I changed from the goal of perfection to the goal of doing my best...and from a desire to please others to a position where I like to help others - but not to my own detriment.

I do things now because I want to, not because I have to or I'm scared not to

My inner compass, my self worth, is no longer so dependent upon what others think of me.

Not sure how useful that is to you but I wanted to add you're one of the nicest people I know. Please don't beat yourself up

D

Tetra

I hope you feel better soon Gilmer.

I am at my parents for the weekend again. Next weekend there is a Halloween parade in town and it is always really cool and I want to be there for that.

I think I am turning into my mother...hmmmm

I was walking through the university grounds last night. There were graduations on and I was stuck by two things:
How scarily skinny some young women look and
Some young ones today have no clue how to dress themselves.
One young lady was wearing what looked like a vest underneath the graduation gown and tottering around in mega high heels that didn't suit her. I was tempted to ask where the bottom part of her outfit was.

I mean it's a graduation and not a night club. You'll have those pictures for years to come. Wear something suitable for the occasion. At my graduations I wore a suit, nice shoes and a colourful shirt.

Yes I know I sound like a grandmother...

Still I know we were all young once. I still smile when I think of my Grandmother. When I was 19 and first started going to nightclubs my Grandma used to say "you can't go out in a skirt like that. You will get double pneumonia in your kidneys".

I found some old photos of myself from when I was about 15, complete with blue eyeliner. I asked my dad lately "how could you let me go around like that?" He laughed and said "you seemed happy and we didn't want to hurt your feelings"

Gilmer

Thank you guys so, so much.

saoutchik

As a singularly flawed man I am relieved that most women don't attain "perfection"

Crazy Golf. I avoided the wooden spoon, that is the most positive spin I can come up with. At one point I borrowed someones expensive looking pen to update my card only to discover it was an electronic cigarette

Tetra

I wonder where Soberwolf is? I hope wherever he is, he is doing ok.

My dad went to the GP today, finally , after I made the appointment.
He looked at the lump on his temple and said one of the other doctors there has more experience with this kind of thing so he asked her to check it out. She said she is almost certain it's not serious but she wants to take a small sample of it just in case. I was surprised that GPs do this kind of thing but I know the local hospital is overcrowded and they are advising people to see their GP instead. So he has to go back in 2 weeks. Once to get some kind of heart monitor, then to get the lump checked out, then back again to get the heart monitor removed.

I am so glad that I can do this kind of thing for my parents now. I know it is selfish of me but if anything happened to dad I would have no one. My mom and sister have their own troubles and my brother doesn't even live here. Plus I know my sister in law is not comfortable with us. I must make more of an effort with her this Christmas.

My mom's sister was on the phone again complaining about my uncle - their brother. Last time he was saying stuff about my folks, This time about me. Apparently I have my eyes on inheriting my Granny's house. My parents were highly amused. My mom told her "No no no! Tetra has her job now and she rents her own place and she is very, very happy". And it is true. I am up to my eyes in work but I am extremely happy.

I laughed as well. If there is one person that doesn't think that way, it would be me. I don't care who gets or does what. My uncle shouldn't judge people by his own low standards.

Anyway I guess that is families for you.

I don't know why my mother's family can't be more like my father's family. One of my father's brothers is different. He isn't disabled exactly but there is something wrong if you know what I mean. It is hard to explain. Anyway my dad visits him once a week to help out and takes him to the post office to collect his illness benefit. His other family live further away but they all visit him and take him out in turns for coffee, lunch or whatever. There is a kindness and a softer side to them which is really lacking among my mother's side.

Any way rant over.

I go to bed each night and pray that my contract will be renewed in December. I would be so disappointed if it wasn't.