Lateral Thinking Weekender Thread 20-23 October 2016
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Reality
Posts: 491
Nothing alone home hiding my drinking home because ask everyone to help me . Worst idea ever because I can't stop so now I'm huffing when this is going to stop. You know Dee I understand jimmy sometimes is too much ch I'm it's just not an easy way to go on.
Of course I know this is the depression brought because of the alcohol I know but this is all I know
Of course I know this is the depression brought because of the alcohol I know but this is all I know
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Good morning everyone and welcome to Sober Saturday
Soberandhealthy:
If you know this then what are you doing about it? It's all you know because you're not doing what's necessary to know other things. There is no way around this, only through it. Not one person posting in this thread hasn't been exactly where you are today. Sitting in our pools of self pity and bringing up every bad thing we've ever done in our past to provide ourselves with reasons to drink. Stop the madness! There is a lot of pain and discomfort in walking away from the alcohol. But, being committed to doing it and providing yourself with the tools to get through it makes it easier.
I wish I could describe to you what life is like once you begin to emerge from the cloud. It's freedom at it's finest. It's a life that you can't even begin to imagine. It 's waiting for you but you have to do the work to get there.
I hope you don't take the above in the wrong way because it's all based on care and concern. It's painful to read your posts because it brings me back to my days when I was exactly where you are. Sitting and crying in my beer to anyone who would listen about my badness. About what I've done to other people. About what other people have done to me. About how unfair the world is. All of it nothing more than me protecting the very thing that was allowing me to sit in that pool of crap and never get past it.
Please, please, I'm telling you the truth. You can do this! Drinking is only going to keep you right where you are. Whatever you did in your past and whatever has been done to you is not important. What's important is the work you do today. You can have a better life and never have to feel this way again but it starts with truly accepting that using will never be the answer. There will come a day that you will look back and be baffled by the fact that you ever believed the things you told yourself to keep drinking and you'll be thankful that you finally realized the truth.
You CAN do this! We are all here to help.
Soberandhealthy:
Of course I know this is the depression brought because of the alcohol I know but this is all I know
I wish I could describe to you what life is like once you begin to emerge from the cloud. It's freedom at it's finest. It's a life that you can't even begin to imagine. It 's waiting for you but you have to do the work to get there.
I hope you don't take the above in the wrong way because it's all based on care and concern. It's painful to read your posts because it brings me back to my days when I was exactly where you are. Sitting and crying in my beer to anyone who would listen about my badness. About what I've done to other people. About what other people have done to me. About how unfair the world is. All of it nothing more than me protecting the very thing that was allowing me to sit in that pool of crap and never get past it.
Please, please, I'm telling you the truth. You can do this! Drinking is only going to keep you right where you are. Whatever you did in your past and whatever has been done to you is not important. What's important is the work you do today. You can have a better life and never have to feel this way again but it starts with truly accepting that using will never be the answer. There will come a day that you will look back and be baffled by the fact that you ever believed the things you told yourself to keep drinking and you'll be thankful that you finally realized the truth.
You CAN do this! We are all here to help.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Good morning all. A special hello to you, Soberandhealthy.
Stay here! Definitely keep reading around on SR. You'll find so many people who are just like you--yet they've somehow managed to make the leap away from alcohol.
Even though there are so many individual life stories, you're bound to find one that resonates. For instance, read the forum "Stories of Recovery." Once they have a year's sobriety under their belts, people share their own experiences along the path to freedom.
If you continue reading on this site, you will get the all-important motivation to give up drinking for good--and then you will learn how to make a plan--thought processes and replacement activities--to help you resist temptation when it hits.
Stay here! Definitely keep reading around on SR. You'll find so many people who are just like you--yet they've somehow managed to make the leap away from alcohol.
Even though there are so many individual life stories, you're bound to find one that resonates. For instance, read the forum "Stories of Recovery." Once they have a year's sobriety under their belts, people share their own experiences along the path to freedom.
If you continue reading on this site, you will get the all-important motivation to give up drinking for good--and then you will learn how to make a plan--thought processes and replacement activities--to help you resist temptation when it hits.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
SAH - things will get better, I promise. It takes time, but by staying sober and taking things one step at a time, little by little you ll find your inner peace, and then new people and things will get in your life to stay. There s always a new life ahead, all we need to do
Is truly open ourselves up for it.
We are here for you.
P
Is truly open ourselves up for it.
We are here for you.
P
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Gradually, over time, I changed from the goal of perfection to the goal of doing my best...
My inner compass, my self worth, is no longer so dependent upon what others think of me.
D
My inner compass, my self worth, is no longer so dependent upon what others think of me.
D
It was good that I went to that BBQ last night. Somebody gave a Bible quote that dovetails with what you said:
Colossians 3:23--"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men."
Very timely reminder of who my real audience is!
Thanks again.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
I don't know if this helps but I'm putting anything out there for you that worked for me.
When my mind began to go to the pit of despair of things I had done or things that had been done to me I would say out loud to myself "That's not an excuse". I also had a preplanned activity to do when this occurred. I remember the cringing I felt. I remember the anger I felt because I wanted so badly to run to my (so called) friend that I thought made me feel better. I would repeat to myself (verbally, not in my head) those very words. "That's NOT an excuse". Somehow saying them out loud helped to solidify what I was trying to accomplish. It was uncomfortable. I hated it, in the beginning. Soon though, it became more natural. Unlearning to drink is hard work, work you CAN do, we all promise you.
Soberandhealthy, you CAN do this!
When my mind began to go to the pit of despair of things I had done or things that had been done to me I would say out loud to myself "That's not an excuse". I also had a preplanned activity to do when this occurred. I remember the cringing I felt. I remember the anger I felt because I wanted so badly to run to my (so called) friend that I thought made me feel better. I would repeat to myself (verbally, not in my head) those very words. "That's NOT an excuse". Somehow saying them out loud helped to solidify what I was trying to accomplish. It was uncomfortable. I hated it, in the beginning. Soon though, it became more natural. Unlearning to drink is hard work, work you CAN do, we all promise you.
Soberandhealthy, you CAN do this!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I'm in for the weekend and have just finished reading some really awesome thoughtful posts. SAH i've been where you are and it's so hard. But like lady blue said, you just have to go through it. There's unfortunately no other way.
Gilmer, I send my best thoughts to you. I'm sorry you're having a hard time. It takes time to process things when you've been floored. I've been down this week and that scripture passage is spot on. Hugs
The"mom" thing. I still feel awkward at times. Like I'm missing the secret code to successful parenting. I think everyone goes through it but some are better at hiding it or adapting than others. It doesn't help that much of the mom code involves drinking that glass of wine at the end of a hard day. Or so people imply. But I can't do that.
Anyway, I'm going to an AA meeting this morning. It helps center me for the day to have a regularly set sober activity. Routine that I stuck with no matter what was crucial when I first quit. Still helps now.
Gilmer, I send my best thoughts to you. I'm sorry you're having a hard time. It takes time to process things when you've been floored. I've been down this week and that scripture passage is spot on. Hugs
The"mom" thing. I still feel awkward at times. Like I'm missing the secret code to successful parenting. I think everyone goes through it but some are better at hiding it or adapting than others. It doesn't help that much of the mom code involves drinking that glass of wine at the end of a hard day. Or so people imply. But I can't do that.
Anyway, I'm going to an AA meeting this morning. It helps center me for the day to have a regularly set sober activity. Routine that I stuck with no matter what was crucial when I first quit. Still helps now.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,187
I live in a block of flats (apartment block). A new bird feeder has been put up in our communal garden area. One of my neighbours owns a cat called Boris who has tried approaching it from every angle but fortunately for the birds and unfortunately for Boris it is both cat and squirrel proof. He is looking at it balefully now
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Sah, here's something else to think about.
When you get to the other side of running through the quitting and the anxiety, and you actually find a way to work properly through dealing with grief, trauma, anxiety, depression, then you will find... you start to feel a little more normal. It may take a short time, it may take a long time. But as you go, it will get easier. It will get better. And can't stress it enough, we're never alone in this.
Things I think about that I'm grateful for on this side and not drinking over:
-Everything seems to quit working on me! Dead phone, dead batteries everywhere, lights constantly burning out, sing keeps plugging, broke and don't know when I'll have money again, the dirty litter I'm accumulating downstairs is too heavy for me to lift up.
eh, whatever! Water off a duck's back. It could be worse... instead I've got the eye roll down pretty good and once again, Murphy and I are good friends. (whatever can go wrong, will go wrong) I just smile and say bring it on. I've got more eye rolls for ya.
-I can never find sock. Or underwear. Some cussing. More eye rolls.
-I get really mad. I think about it for five minutes. Find some way to transfer that anger out of my body. Move on. Eye roll over my overreaction.
-I walk into walls, trip up stairs, bang my head on everything, throw tantrums, choke on my spit, lose my phone constantly, oh and my keys, leave my keys in my van, leave them hanging in the door, I talk gibberish at times, I act like an imp. I don't mind. People look at me funny, but it's ok. I'm sober.
-I can read my own writing again
-I can wake up grumpy and know it'll go away because I'm not hungover.
-I don't have to hide all my ginger ale bottles and try and remember where I kept them
-You have SO MUCH MORE MONEY. To spend on food and food and candy and gingerale and ice cream and food.
-Eventually you start to find yourself amongst other sober, crazy people and feel deeper connections
-You can read and remember things you just read
-You can read and remember things you just read
Ok... just trying to lighten the mood
I hope everyone is FANTASTICALLY ok and sober this fine foggy saturday morning... I just had 100$ walk to my front door so that put me in a good mood, now my phone is DEAD and not charging again, off to wash dishes and go on the hunt for an answer to my zombie phone!
Cheerios and Spaghetti!
xo Del
When you get to the other side of running through the quitting and the anxiety, and you actually find a way to work properly through dealing with grief, trauma, anxiety, depression, then you will find... you start to feel a little more normal. It may take a short time, it may take a long time. But as you go, it will get easier. It will get better. And can't stress it enough, we're never alone in this.
Things I think about that I'm grateful for on this side and not drinking over:
-Everything seems to quit working on me! Dead phone, dead batteries everywhere, lights constantly burning out, sing keeps plugging, broke and don't know when I'll have money again, the dirty litter I'm accumulating downstairs is too heavy for me to lift up.
eh, whatever! Water off a duck's back. It could be worse... instead I've got the eye roll down pretty good and once again, Murphy and I are good friends. (whatever can go wrong, will go wrong) I just smile and say bring it on. I've got more eye rolls for ya.
-I can never find sock. Or underwear. Some cussing. More eye rolls.
-I get really mad. I think about it for five minutes. Find some way to transfer that anger out of my body. Move on. Eye roll over my overreaction.
-I walk into walls, trip up stairs, bang my head on everything, throw tantrums, choke on my spit, lose my phone constantly, oh and my keys, leave my keys in my van, leave them hanging in the door, I talk gibberish at times, I act like an imp. I don't mind. People look at me funny, but it's ok. I'm sober.
-I can read my own writing again
-I can wake up grumpy and know it'll go away because I'm not hungover.
-I don't have to hide all my ginger ale bottles and try and remember where I kept them
-You have SO MUCH MORE MONEY. To spend on food and food and candy and gingerale and ice cream and food.
-Eventually you start to find yourself amongst other sober, crazy people
and feel deeper connections-You can read and remember things you just read
-You can read and remember things you just read
Ok... just trying to lighten the mood
I hope everyone is FANTASTICALLY ok and sober this fine foggy saturday morning... I just had 100$ walk to my front door so that put me in a good mood, now my phone is DEAD and not charging again, off to wash dishes and go on the hunt for an answer to my zombie phone!
Cheerios and Spaghetti!
xo Del
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
My cat Waffles is an indoor cat. He loves to look out the sliding doors at the birds out in the back yard and I love to watch it. His tail gets going and his eyes dilate, it's pretty intense.
There was an event that I wish I could have gotten on video as it would have went viral if posted on youtube. I was heading out to the back area of the house and I see Waffles sitting there like a human. He's sitting straight up and he has his top arms out in front of him with the paws hanging directly down. He's still, and intent, and I'm wondering what the heck he's doing so I creep and peer around the corner so as not to disturb. There, outside the sliding glass doors, is a squirrel in the same exact stance as Waffles, peering back at him through the door. I stood there silently but laughing hysterically on the inside.
All I could imagine is Waffles was looking at that squirrel saying "Yup, I'm a squirrel too! Yesssssiree! Come on over, closer to the door and play! See, I'm standing just like you!" Of course, playing wasn't what he had in mind but what a riot!
There was an event that I wish I could have gotten on video as it would have went viral if posted on youtube. I was heading out to the back area of the house and I see Waffles sitting there like a human. He's sitting straight up and he has his top arms out in front of him with the paws hanging directly down. He's still, and intent, and I'm wondering what the heck he's doing so I creep and peer around the corner so as not to disturb. There, outside the sliding glass doors, is a squirrel in the same exact stance as Waffles, peering back at him through the door. I stood there silently but laughing hysterically on the inside.
All I could imagine is Waffles was looking at that squirrel saying "Yup, I'm a squirrel too! Yesssssiree! Come on over, closer to the door and play! See, I'm standing just like you!" Of course, playing wasn't what he had in mind but what a riot!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Waffles is a thwarted hunter, I see. I tried to keep the cats inside but the younger one was a demon for slipping out. She clawed holes in the basement screen which was quite a feat as I have glass block windows with little vents in them. She managed to squeeze her way out. Or she'd bolt out the door at night and she's all black so I could never find her. I put a belled collar on her. The other cat is a senior and was never much of a hunter. She's content to chew blades of grass and roll around.
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