PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum FieldReport!!

1984Toy

Yes FieldReport, been there, done that, (not the google search though). I received the same treatment, on the hidden bottles. I swear the wife had a sixth sense, in finding them. Or maybe got the dogs trained to sniff out alcohol
Anyway, when I did get sober, I did find a few empties that she didn't find. Talk about getting panicky, trying to get rid of them before she found them.

FieldReport

Thanks everyone for the kind words and encouragement. This will be one of the hardest things I will ever do in my life. I certainly can't do it alone, but with help and encouragement from you guys makes me feel that I have a chance at it.

I can't say I'm getting much support from my wife. I don't think her telling my kids via text message about my DUI ticket was the right thing to do, especially after I told her NOT to say a thing. Trust is now an issue with our marriage.

We just came home from a birthday party for one of my grandkids. This was the first get together since she told everyone, very awkward to say the least. High anxiety now seems to be part of my daily life. Two son-in-laws didn't say anything to me other than hello and goodbye. This is the kind of thing that kills me. I do everything for my family and don't deserve this.

I know this is part of my penalty, and will get better over time, it's just incredibly hard for me.

Again, thanks folks for reading and I look forward to learning as much as I can from you guys who have been where I am now. I can't thank you enough.

MrPL

Hi FieldReport,

One step at a time I am sure everyone will be back on your side. We the with you on this one, your kids will be with you too, not sure what the exact situation is but I have been coming clean with all family and friends about recovery, reception is generally positive and it gives me an extra sense of accountability, maybe talk to the kids yourself?

Keep strong on these early days.

P

FieldReport

Agreed, one step at a time. They may be feeling the same awkwardness that I'm feeling too. It's just coming across as I'm a disgrace when all I've ever done is help out the kids, mine and my step kids. That and the fact that my wife's first husband was an alcoholic and she found him dead, from drinking. I know it's a sore subject for her and her kids, but I've done nothing but love her and her kids from day one. I feel like I'm paying the penalty for his choices in her first marriage.

Don't think that's fair at all. In my opinion anyway.

FieldReport

Funny how things will only change if you make them change. Just read my first post on this site and unfortunately I can say nothing has changed. Still drinking, still hiding bottles around the house, now work. I recognize things are getting worse with my addition. I say I'm trying, was actually sober for 57 days then for no reason at all just started drinking again.

Mentium

'No reason'? I have lapsed after longish periods of sobriety a number of times. I think it is fair to say my best intentions collapsed because I drifted away from what I knew helped. In my case a 'plan', attending AA meetings as often as I could and staying on top of the issue. I wonder now if that 'drifting away' was actually my addiction sneaking in under my nose!

Dee74

A plan is the first step to change Field Report

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D

FieldReport

Could be that for me I was getting bored without drinking, so when I say "No Reason", there was no one catalyst that made me start up again. Last week Friday I drank because it was a Friday. No reason why I drank on Saturday, and on Sunday, well the Packer game made me drink.

All justifications that my brain is giving me. Funny how you can justify drinking so easily, why can't I justify being sober as easy?

FieldReport

I have a plan, I'm seeing a therapist, I'm trying, but I think I need to stop lying to myself and everyone else and get a serious plan.

Looking for all the answers when I know what the answer is.

Dee74

How effective is your plan if you're still drinking though?
Don't be afraid to add stuff.

D

thomas11

Its very important that you be honest with yourself.

Outonthetiles

Searching for ways to hide booze in the garage combined with the statement "I think this was my sign that I have a drinking problem" = not that funny at all.

yinzer

Yep, sounds like you need a tool in your box for when you get "bored". Glad you're back and hope you can make it stick this time. 57 days is still pretty good, but you have to have more in your life than "not drinking".

Zebra1275

Sunday, well the Packer game made me drink.

Really!

As a Lion's fan what should I do?

soberandhonest

Welcome to SR FieldReport. I'm glad you joined! I hope that you will be able to look back at this story and laugh in a few years as you celebrate your long-term sobriety with your family. The alternative is looking back and realizing that your wife left you over this; and then it's not funny. Good luck in your recovery. I hope you stick around.

FieldReport

I'm looking for that "tool", believe me. I'm actually going to start a new thread right now on that very topic.