Be as you are Weekender August 5th Part 1
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by WiggleIn 
I want to have a weekend sober. I am so sick today. On Tuesday I drank only a little and felt fine the next day. Yesterday I drank a lot and I am paying for it. So much. Headache, dry skin, tired, sick, brain dead (seriously dumb), vision off, hot and flushed. The dry skin thing (especially my hands) drives me crazy, it feels weird. I am at work though, can't call in at this job. Wish I could listen to the songs posted. Have to do it when I get home. If I don't just crash first thing. I have so many excuses why I can't seem to get any time together this time around. I need to stay on here this weekend. That seems like a manageable goal. Is this the place to check in throughout this weekend?
BTW I know what you mean about "the real me" ...for me it's not about being real, but about getting relief from myself. I am never satisfied with how I feel mentally. And I am painfully awkward socially. Drinking gives me a break from myself, but one or two is NEVER enough. Now I hate myself even more.
I will be more positive tomorrow. If only slightly. Lots of things to look forward to... IF I don't drink. When I drink, life is a damn chore. Must remember.
BTW I know what you mean about "the real me" ...for me it's not about being real, but about getting relief from myself. I am never satisfied with how I feel mentally. And I am painfully awkward socially. Drinking gives me a break from myself, but one or two is NEVER enough. Now I hate myself even more.
I will be more positive tomorrow. If only slightly. Lots of things to look forward to... IF I don't drink. When I drink, life is a damn chore. Must remember.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-1-a.html
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
I'ma Goin to Tha detox centre next week. Going to get signed up for outpatient. I get a whole team 
Tried and tried and tried to do so many things on my own.
Starting to feel like I am ready to kick some ass and eventually stand on my own two feet again
Be as you are.... I kind of have always seen a bit of myself. Definitely teared up at his afraid sign... that's me. Always afraid.
Most of my puppies are leaving this weekend and I've secured proper care for the last two while I go in for a brief stay. (If I can get in)
I know I could do it home alone. But I also know I can't because I don't wanna. It won't be a bad one. I just can't get a day one alone. And I don't need a hospital.... after my last horrific stint in the hospital after ODing and being released to no one heavily sedated and scared and no phone I went straight for the bottle and a bunch of other lunacy like trying to kill myself.
I need somewhere safe. Detox it is. I'll kick my ass yet.
Also looking forward moving a household alllll by my little self about 35 minutes north in the midst of all the insanity. Meh. Not the first time I've done it. If I win the lottery tomorrow I'll hire a moving company. *snort*
Tried and tried and tried to do so many things on my own.
Starting to feel like I am ready to kick some ass and eventually stand on my own two feet again
Be as you are.... I kind of have always seen a bit of myself. Definitely teared up at his afraid sign... that's me. Always afraid.
Most of my puppies are leaving this weekend and I've secured proper care for the last two while I go in for a brief stay. (If I can get in)
I know I could do it home alone. But I also know I can't because I don't wanna. It won't be a bad one. I just can't get a day one alone. And I don't need a hospital.... after my last horrific stint in the hospital after ODing and being released to no one heavily sedated and scared and no phone I went straight for the bottle and a bunch of other lunacy like trying to kill myself.
I need somewhere safe. Detox it is. I'll kick my ass yet.
Also looking forward moving a household alllll by my little self about 35 minutes north in the midst of all the insanity. Meh. Not the first time I've done it. If I win the lottery tomorrow I'll hire a moving company. *snort*
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Originally Posted by Weasel1966
I am starting a month long course for work online. I am not a programmer but a software designer and I suck at the programming tasks. So I set myself up with a guy in Russia who is an amazing programmer. Ha... This class is world wide so lots of people all over the globe will think weasel is smaat. Intense but fun!
OK... Off to read in the corner. Won't be long till I am crying in that very same corner and sucking my thumb over this crap. Wish me luck!
Intense but fun!OK... Off to read in the corner. Won't be long till I am crying in that very same corner and sucking my thumb over this crap.
Wish me luck!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Brynn, I'm NOT freezing for a change but one of my co-workers is wandering around saying that she is. I've got a sweater on. I hate the over air conditioning.
Deliza, good luck. I couldn't get day one by myself and went in for rehab. It was worth every second I spent there. A nice break from the insanity and got me started.
WiggleIn, keep coming back. When I first stopped I was on here ALL THE TIME. Reading, posting, reading, posting, reading, posting. Anything to keep my brain occupied.
Sao, did you put your feet up on the desk?
Deliza, good luck. I couldn't get day one by myself and went in for rehab. It was worth every second I spent there. A nice break from the insanity and got me started.
WiggleIn, keep coming back. When I first stopped I was on here ALL THE TIME. Reading, posting, reading, posting, reading, posting. Anything to keep my brain occupied.
Sao, did you put your feet up on the desk?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
I'm running behind today... stopped for some fruits and I saw a slab of london broil for 4 dollars off a pound, had to get it, then grabbed some bok choy etc...
threw together a quick stir fry and packed lunch, I yelled, "HB, don't eat the red things!" I put two red peppers in it to spice it up. She was already waving her mouth after a sample...
so here it is Marty, sorry it's late - don't eat the red things...
and something to go with lunch for you...
wasn't it Ven who said she was going to see south pacific? I saw it at the golden gate theater with bob goulet a 'couple' years ago...
threw together a quick stir fry and packed lunch, I yelled, "HB, don't eat the red things!" I put two red peppers in it to spice it up. She was already waving her mouth after a sample...
so here it is Marty, sorry it's late - don't eat the red things...
and something to go with lunch for you...
wasn't it Ven who said she was going to see south pacific? I saw it at the golden gate theater with bob goulet a 'couple' years ago...
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
welcome WiggleIn and Delizadee
Afraid - I was afraid my entire life... still trying to get over it... some days are good and some days are not, but the longer I've been away from my last drink, the good days far outweigh the bad days... being afraid of my own shadow was a learned behavior, drinking hid me from that, bravery in a bottle... no more bottles to hide in... life on life's terms as they say...
Afraid - I was afraid my entire life... still trying to get over it... some days are good and some days are not, but the longer I've been away from my last drink, the good days far outweigh the bad days... being afraid of my own shadow was a learned behavior, drinking hid me from that, bravery in a bottle... no more bottles to hide in... life on life's terms as they say...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 169
Thanks guys, I am going to join the August class. Still gonna follow and post on this thread - this weekend is going to be hard. The first dozen days are always the hardest for me.
We are buying a house and the inspection is tomorrow, any stress at all - positive or negative (if that makes sense) - and my AV takes over. I don't want to let it. I almost bought a shooter at lunch to "help me feel better" and then when I didn't I thought, after work I will. WTF. Straight home. No stopping. I had three weeks a while ago because I followed that rule. NO SHOPPING ALONE.
I don't like watching my bf drink and get drunk every night. But that is no excuse for me to use. I honestly don't care if he drinks, he has every right to. Unless he is hurting himself, that would kill me. It's more of an annoyance, dealing with drunk people (or trying desperately to ignore them all together). Really makes you realize how sh*tty we are when we're all lit up
I do have things to keep me occupied. It's a lie to say I am bored, truth is I'm just unmotivated. I am brushing up on my German every day, reading Clash of Kings, I am a painter/crafter... I also have a newborn nephew and he is a very fussy baby. I need to be there more for my sister... she is struggling. I have not been around much because she is in recovery (about 2.5 years) and it's hard for me to act like everything is fine. No one knows that I have been drinking off and on for the last two months except my boyfriend... I'm sure it's obvious but no one asks directly and I am not about to tell them. I finally got four months and my family is/was so relieved... I don't want to hurt them anymore... gotta give up the idea that I can drink, I don't like hurting people.
Well enough of that. Going to go introduce myself to August. Perhaps a better place to talk about this stuff.
We are buying a house and the inspection is tomorrow, any stress at all - positive or negative (if that makes sense) - and my AV takes over. I don't want to let it. I almost bought a shooter at lunch to "help me feel better" and then when I didn't I thought, after work I will. WTF. Straight home. No stopping. I had three weeks a while ago because I followed that rule. NO SHOPPING ALONE.
I don't like watching my bf drink and get drunk every night. But that is no excuse for me to use. I honestly don't care if he drinks, he has every right to. Unless he is hurting himself, that would kill me. It's more of an annoyance, dealing with drunk people (or trying desperately to ignore them all together). Really makes you realize how sh*tty we are when we're all lit up
I do have things to keep me occupied. It's a lie to say I am bored, truth is I'm just unmotivated. I am brushing up on my German every day, reading Clash of Kings, I am a painter/crafter... I also have a newborn nephew and he is a very fussy baby. I need to be there more for my sister... she is struggling. I have not been around much because she is in recovery (about 2.5 years) and it's hard for me to act like everything is fine. No one knows that I have been drinking off and on for the last two months except my boyfriend... I'm sure it's obvious but no one asks directly and I am not about to tell them. I finally got four months and my family is/was so relieved... I don't want to hurt them anymore... gotta give up the idea that I can drink, I don't like hurting people.
Well enough of that. Going to go introduce myself to August. Perhaps a better place to talk about this stuff.
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Hi deliza and wiggle!
Had to go outside to warm up. It's only supposed to be 102 today things are looking up!
I forgot how good cinnamon Life was! Might replace granola as my afternoon snack (minus milk of course gag!).
Bills are paid and I've got enough left over for an oil change yay!!
Had to go outside to warm up. It's only supposed to be 102 today things are looking up!
I forgot how good cinnamon Life was! Might replace granola as my afternoon snack (minus milk of course gag!).
Bills are paid and I've got enough left over for an oil change yay!!
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