MIRecovery

When you have a random group of people talking about a random subject and you are in a random place mentally it is inevitable you will get random results. But over time you will see how the things that work for others can also work for you

hellrzr

Alcoholism is about the way you think and not if you drink or not. Drinking is an easy solution to deal with your thinking problem so that's why I say his thinking is flawed and broken. You learn that type of stuff in AA meetings from other people who also have flawed thinking. The therapist seems understands this and that is why they are suggesting AA. I would say the therapist knows the best solution and that is what they are offering to their client. If a doctor prescribes you medicine I would take their advice and take the medicine and I suppose I would view a therapists advice to same way.

Another point, unless I read the first post wrong, he has about 1 months sober and not 18 months. He said he started sobriety 18 months ago but then drank last November and again last month in May. A drink is a drink and if you are an alcoholic you drink to deal with your problems because that's the best way you know how to handle things. Again, AA meetings will allow you to work with other people who will help you deal with your problems in better ways.

freshstart57

You can make it whatever you want, for yourself, but that's not what the word means. What you just said is that you can drink all the time, but depending on what you think, you are not an alcoholic. This is dangerous. This is what so many want, they just want to keep drinking but have a magic life. The drinking has to stop. For good. Then things can get better.

If you are securely sober, and you have life issues that need work, you can always talk to someone who is trained to help. Good luck!

hellrzr

Well, yea. I am an alcoholic but I haven’t drank in almost 4 years. I’m still an alcoholic. There are many people who simply drink too much and once they stop their life gets better. They are not alcoholic. When an alcoholic takes the alcohol away their life gets worse, not better. When a person with a drinking problem takes the drink away their life gets better, not worse.

So yes, someone can drink all the time and not be an alcoholic. Just like you can be an alcoholic and never drink… which describes all the sober people on this forum.

I’m not sure how else to explain what I am trying to say. This is what I’ve learned from Big Book studies and listening to those old timers in AA. Your second paragraph actually lays out what AA does for you. It shows you how to live life on life’s terms. It’s not a stop drinking program but a how to live life program. Drinking is but a symptom as they say.

Freshstart, do you attend AA meetings? Do you work with a sponsor?

Dee74

Just a reminder to everyone:

Thanks

Dee
Moderator
SR

freshstart57

I try not to discuss AA. But you certainly use common words in strange and curious ways. I would suggest you be very careful when you make statements about 'all the people on this forum'. I can guarantee you that the one you just made misses the mark by a mile.

Glad your program of recovery is working so well for you. Good Luck!

hellrzr

freshstart, you are correct, I should never say "all" when referring to anything, especially on this website!

Sounds like you have also found something that works for you and that is great! Hopefully we can both offer advice , even differing advice, to others that will help them in the long run.

Maudcat

I stopped drinking with the help of family and AA. I too saw a therapist who strongly urged me to keep working with the 12 step AA program. Unfortunately, after the initial support and despite the fact that I met really, really kind and helpful people in AA, the message itself just didn't resonate with me. My therapist was not sympathetic to this, being a true blue 12 step recovery guy, so eventually I gave up therapy with him. I am doing fine in recovery without A A. I follow several recovery podcasts and blogs, am aware that my sobriety is a gift that can easily disappear, and that sometimes I only have today. My advice, were I to be asked, is to find a therapist who listens and who is open to other forms ofrecovery beyond the 12 step model.

miamifella

AA did not work for me and it does not work for a lot of people.

But that said, going to one meeting to check it out does not seem like that big a deal. You do not need to sign any papers or make any commitment. All you have to do is sit for one hour.

And to be honest, you do not even have to do that. You can always walk out in the middle.

Going to one meeting is not a big deal. It helps a lot of people and may help you. And if you are one of the people it does not help, you will at least know what it is.

This is not that big a deal.

Meraviglioso

I agree. AA is not how I got sober and not how I will stay sober, but it does work for a lot of people and one of those people could be you, so why not try?
I have not worked the steps, though interestingly, one that appeals to me most is making amends, the topic of another current thread here. I do not have a sponsor and I do not attend with any regularity, but when I can go I enjoy my time there and get something out of it. I initially went because I was at the point where I couldn't rule anything out. Again, it was not what clicked for me but it wasn't a waste of time either.

JamesfrmEngland

Maybe you could to one AA meeting instead of seeing your therapist that week, just to try it out. That way it doesn't come into conflict with your 2-hour commute to work.

soberlicious

Hi Soberfreckles,

I don't know how "wise" I am, but I can certainly add my .02 since you asked.

I grew up in AA...alcoholic step-father, co-dependent mother, I went to ala-teen, attended as an adult regularly (because turns out as an adult I became addicted to alcohol and drugs...and a few other things), studied the Big Book, even did "back to basics" in addition to working through the steps with a sponsor,etc, so forth and so on, yadda yadda. My point is, I know the program well. It so happens it is not for me. It has never been for me. I hold a very different view about addiction in general than the stance that AA takes, and as a result I experienced so much cognitive dissonance that the fellowship was doing me far more harm than good. I will stress here that this is my personal experience, lest anyone twist my words to mean that I am discouraging AA. I am not, but what I am doing is encouraging belief in yourself and in your ability to accomplish your goals as you see fit. Now...there are those that have told me that since I quit without AA, then I wasn't really an "alcoholic" in the first place. To that I say, call me what you will, but my daily drinking to blackout for years coupled with benzo abuse led to a psychotic break and a suicide attempt from which I was somehow revived. It also resulted in an involuntary placement in the psych ward, and subsequent in-patient treatment. So, this was no little drinking problem I had. It was a life threatening addiction, and to minimize it because I chose a road that suited me best is boggling. I was able to end all the madness by using the resources available to me that felt right and suited me and, most importantly of all, the ones that brought true change and helped me to realize my goal of quitting for good and living a new life substance free. Yes, you were addicted, but you have been on an excellent path with a year and half between you and the madness, so you are doing something right. I was lucky enough to find a therapist who helped me change my life, who believed in my abilities and did not act like I was a child or an idiot. We discussed options together, I listened to her points and she to mine. Ultimately, the goal was for me to become strong and believe in myself. She did not plant doubt, make me second guess my successes, or impose her will. She did what a true professional does and should do, and that is to present options. I was mired deep in addiction for sure and during active addiction I wasn't able to make good choices, but once I detoxed and that cleared, I was able to move forward making clear strong choices that worked for me. I continue to learn and grow and it's been almost a decade since I quit drinking and overall, life is pretty good. I know you can do the same, whatever you choose. Best to you!