I am utterly defeated
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Hey Jeff
Yeah I think we ladies can 'expect' that guys can fix things. There is no shame in simply calling someone We just want it to work. I never 'honey do'ed' my husband. The one I divorced couldn't find his way out of paper bag (of course, neither can I)....I knew this so we called handymen. Or we fixed stuff, worked around the yard, together. We actually were ( and still are to a degree) a good team. Kind of like roommates and best friends. At 28 I wanted more than a roommate. My late hub could fix, build anything...and he did. So he just went about doing stuff. He was kind of perfect...he'd be a good apocalypse husband. I miss him terribly. Wah.
And asking for directions? Very manly
Yeah I think we ladies can 'expect' that guys can fix things. There is no shame in simply calling someone We just want it to work. I never 'honey do'ed' my husband. The one I divorced couldn't find his way out of paper bag (of course, neither can I)....I knew this so we called handymen. Or we fixed stuff, worked around the yard, together. We actually were ( and still are to a degree) a good team. Kind of like roommates and best friends. At 28 I wanted more than a roommate. My late hub could fix, build anything...and he did. So he just went about doing stuff. He was kind of perfect...he'd be a good apocalypse husband. I miss him terribly. Wah.
And asking for directions? Very manly
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Thanks Mera. I'm better than last night. I'm really not feeling that bad...its just they symptoms of a cold kind of wear me down. I'll bring a bunch of tissues to yoga cause in a hot room...kind of clears things out.
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Okay day 28. Say something insightful? Got nothin.
I was thinking this morning that (and this is so obvious) I am my biggest problem. I get in my own way. I mean my thinking. It isn't booze ( I mean, its not an entity with power in and of itself) its me. And I don't simply mean me choosing booze. Its the way I relate to everything, mostly myself. Its my thinking. Ok said that 100 times. I can't articulate right now. But I'm definitely my own worst enemy.
On another more pressing note. Extreme Yellow Jacket Hunter changed her traps this morning. That was creepy as %$^&. Yikes. But I didn't cry.
I was thinking this morning that (and this is so obvious) I am my biggest problem. I get in my own way. I mean my thinking. It isn't booze ( I mean, its not an entity with power in and of itself) its me. And I don't simply mean me choosing booze. Its the way I relate to everything, mostly myself. Its my thinking. Ok said that 100 times. I can't articulate right now. But I'm definitely my own worst enemy.
On another more pressing note. Extreme Yellow Jacket Hunter changed her traps this morning. That was creepy as %$^&. Yikes. But I didn't cry.
Hello,
They say in AA that alcohol is not the problem but our thinking is the problem. Alcohol has been our means to deal with it and it won't work. I am not sure if you have ever tried AA, but through the steps and at meetings we look at our thought patterns and behaviors. Great job on almost one month!!
Lilly
They say in AA that alcohol is not the problem but our thinking is the problem. Alcohol has been our means to deal with it and it won't work. I am not sure if you have ever tried AA, but through the steps and at meetings we look at our thought patterns and behaviors. Great job on almost one month!!
Lilly
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Hi lost Lily
Thanks for the post. Yep, lots of AA....although my commitment and involvement has waxed and waned. I'm attending 3 meetings a week now, taking it slow because I have some mental health challenges that force me to regulate how quickly I jump into things. I have yet to attend a meeting in the last 2 weeks where a single woman raised her hand as a possible sponsor. Even the woman's meetings....the 2 I went to. That is typical of this area and I don't really understand it. So I just keep trying other meetings. Men always raise their hands. I'm not ready for a sponsor anyway so its ok. I'll just keep plugging along.
I'm very grateful and at peace. So far so good. I'm trying not to keep looking up to see if the sky is falling yet. Just staying positive!
Thanks for the post. Yep, lots of AA....although my commitment and involvement has waxed and waned. I'm attending 3 meetings a week now, taking it slow because I have some mental health challenges that force me to regulate how quickly I jump into things. I have yet to attend a meeting in the last 2 weeks where a single woman raised her hand as a possible sponsor. Even the woman's meetings....the 2 I went to. That is typical of this area and I don't really understand it. So I just keep trying other meetings. Men always raise their hands. I'm not ready for a sponsor anyway so its ok. I'll just keep plugging along.
I'm very grateful and at peace. So far so good. I'm trying not to keep looking up to see if the sky is falling yet. Just staying positive!
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So yoga was good even though I'm sick. And it was all MEN. 6 men and me....the early weekday classes are small. So all you guys that think that hot yoga is just for girls, think again. And there's this one guy, who usually comes with his amazingly hot wife, who is probably in his late 50's. He's shaped like Buddha...gut and all, hairy as a dog, and he's amazing. He has a beautiful practice. Love that. So ya don't have to be young, man-scaped and hot. Its all about self acceptance....its very cool. I struggle with body image issues and just pushing myself to be in front of all those mirrors really helps me just accept me for me. Yoga is such a complimentary exercise to recovery. I gotta go do some YSR12 yoga...gonna put that on the list. You 12 steppers should google it. Very interesting stuff.
Gonna go walk the doggies. Its a beautiful day out there. Maybe some gardening. I have to enjoy the next few hours because when my daughter gets home, its the ALL her, ALL the time channel. She is impossible this time of year (last week of school, finals). Poor kid. So stressed out. She wants to get a 4.0 but she's shy of it right now. She has trouble with organization but she's learning. And if I say anything, no matter what it is ("hey want a million dollars?" "Up yours Mom") she snaps my head off. So I nod, agree, smile, encourage and get outta the way.
Gonna go walk the doggies. Its a beautiful day out there. Maybe some gardening. I have to enjoy the next few hours because when my daughter gets home, its the ALL her, ALL the time channel. She is impossible this time of year (last week of school, finals). Poor kid. So stressed out. She wants to get a 4.0 but she's shy of it right now. She has trouble with organization but she's learning. And if I say anything, no matter what it is ("hey want a million dollars?" "Up yours Mom") she snaps my head off. So I nod, agree, smile, encourage and get outta the way.
On another more pressing note. Extreme Yellow Jacket Hunter changed her traps this morning. That was creepy as %$^&. Yikes. But I didn't cry.
Hi Frick - you might remember my yellow jacket infestation from last fall? I almost caved during that time, (though I ultimately did Hang in there.
Hi Frick - you might remember my yellow jacket infestation from last fall? I almost caved during that time, (though I ultimately did Hang in there.
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"ALL her, ALL the time channel. She is impossible this time of year (last week of school, finals). Poor kid. So stressed out. She wants to get a 4.0 but she's shy of it right now. She has trouble with organization but she's learning. And if I say anything, no matter what it is ("hey want a million dollars?" "Up yours Mom") she snaps my head off."
aahhhh, the joy of teenage girls........
aahhhh, the joy of teenage girls........
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Oh yeah Rar that's right. That was awful. These critters are just outside (other than one terrorist that got inside) so not even comparable. GAWD I'd burn my house down if I had to go through what you did. They're horrid creatures. Why do they even exist?
I hope you're doing well!
I hope you're doing well!
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Day 29.
Slept crappy last night due to dry cough that wouldn't let up. But without a hangover lack of sleep is really no big deal! At least not when its just one night.
So nothing to report. All is well. Just kind of dragging my wagon this AM. It'll pass.
Have a great day.
Slept crappy last night due to dry cough that wouldn't let up. But without a hangover lack of sleep is really no big deal! At least not when its just one night.
So nothing to report. All is well. Just kind of dragging my wagon this AM. It'll pass.
Have a great day.
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Ok I'm just going to whine for a few minutes.
I feel poopy today. I'm tired. My back is killing me. I have some financial stresses...that I'm doing all I can do with so what's my deal? I'm worried. Yoga was crappy. I don't feel like doing anything. I'm scared.
What am I going to do about this? Well, I spent an hour going through the financial stuff, and everything is going to be ok. I'm going to take some motrin for my back. I'm going to go water my plants and vacuum. I'm going to get 15 minutes of sun. Then I'm going to look in the mirror, name 5 things I'm really grateful for, slap myself across the face and get on with it. If that doesn't work, I'm going to lie down for 20 minutes and pray to the universe to relieve my fear.
Ok. Now onward and upward. I am not a victim.
I feel poopy today. I'm tired. My back is killing me. I have some financial stresses...that I'm doing all I can do with so what's my deal? I'm worried. Yoga was crappy. I don't feel like doing anything. I'm scared.
What am I going to do about this? Well, I spent an hour going through the financial stuff, and everything is going to be ok. I'm going to take some motrin for my back. I'm going to go water my plants and vacuum. I'm going to get 15 minutes of sun. Then I'm going to look in the mirror, name 5 things I'm really grateful for, slap myself across the face and get on with it. If that doesn't work, I'm going to lie down for 20 minutes and pray to the universe to relieve my fear.
Ok. Now onward and upward. I am not a victim.
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Interesting, as discussed, I had one of those days yesterday. And I have to give you credit as you are going to do much more about it than I did....I just complained.
The combination of feeling listless, along with being scared is a bad combo. Fear is just a downer, no two ways about it.
A bad day sober is immeasurably better than any day drunk or hungover in my opinion. Right?
The combination of feeling listless, along with being scared is a bad combo. Fear is just a downer, no two ways about it.
A bad day sober is immeasurably better than any day drunk or hungover in my opinion. Right?
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Hi Jeff
Are you having a better day?
I think a little complaining is okay, as long as I don't marinate in it . I can't afford to let that thinking take over. Makes me thirsty!
I guess the antidote to my fear based thinking is faith based thinking. I was pondering this while vacuuming. I'm not talking religion per se but faith that with Good Orderly Direction (God), focusing on my thinking and my reactions, life will generally work out.
Thanks for the post!
Are you having a better day?
I think a little complaining is okay, as long as I don't marinate in it . I can't afford to let that thinking take over. Makes me thirsty!
I guess the antidote to my fear based thinking is faith based thinking. I was pondering this while vacuuming. I'm not talking religion per se but faith that with Good Orderly Direction (God), focusing on my thinking and my reactions, life will generally work out.
Thanks for the post!
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Better today. Good Orderly Thinking, I've seen you mention that before. I like it. Interesting you mentioned before that "thinking" sometimes was your enemy and seemed to get in your way. I relate. If I go too far down that rabbit hole it can ugly pretty fast. Remaining disciplined in day to day activities seems to help most people. Crazy thing is, many people simply have no discipline at all and seem to get through life just fine. Doesn't seem fair.
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I guess it's all in one's adaptability. If a person is cool with lack of discipline and what, to me, would be considered chaos, hey that's ok. But I dont function well that way. I am structured and rather boring . But if it helps me stay sober, healthy and a good mom? I'm good with it. As I get some traction in my recovery, my structure will become more natural and I'll start to add more 'spontineity.' But that's a ways out
Dinner time!
Dinner time!
Oh yeah Rar that's right. That was awful. These critters are just outside (other than one terrorist that got inside) so not even comparable. GAWD I'd burn my house down if I had to go through what you did. They're horrid creatures. Why do they even exist?
I hope you're doing well!
I hope you're doing well!
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That's great Rar....14 days...we're in the same boat so to speak.
No! No more yellow jackets. I am getting a pest control service to come out and spray the crap out of everything....just for safe measure. But for whatever reason I have trapped no additional bugs ....other than the first 15 or so. I'm hoping that's it. I sure hope your issue doesn't come back. Call pest control again. You certainly don't need that stress
Are things going ok otherwise?
No! No more yellow jackets. I am getting a pest control service to come out and spray the crap out of everything....just for safe measure. But for whatever reason I have trapped no additional bugs ....other than the first 15 or so. I'm hoping that's it. I sure hope your issue doesn't come back. Call pest control again. You certainly don't need that stress
Are things going ok otherwise?
RE: Yellow jackets.....Did you walk around your house to see where they're getting in? Last fall mine were getting through the opening where the phone line entered the house. They made a nest between the walls and exited somewhere in the laundry room. I was informed they were happy to live in the wall, but started to enter the house for warmth when it started to get cold. Wishing you a strong day.
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