Hawkeye13

OK, call the place you know for outpatient, and work out if you can use insurance, etc.
and apply right away.

I know soberwolf or Dee has a link to the "make a sobriety plan" so sit down, read that,
and make a strong plan.

As someone else suggested, get a journal and write down everything that happened,
how you feel, and anytime you are remotely tempted, read the whole thing through.

Stay hydrated, take care of yourself and kids, and realize this will get better
if you take a terrible thing and use it to get you sober for good.

Your husband isn't going to want to hear a bunch of promises right now--
take action and show him you mean it, don't tell him about it.

Post here for support and update us on the outpatient application
which you clearly should follow through on.

Things that helped me along: lots of non-alcoholic drinks in the house
like herbal tea, sparking water, juice.
Good nutrition, good grooming and self-care.
Of course you regret what happened, but beating yourself up about it
won't help and it actually does hurt. So don't do it.

This can be the last time you ever feel this way.
We understand and have been there--you can beat this thing.

kittycat3

I've done outpatient and I can attest to it being very helpful. You can do this LB!

Anna

I hope you do whatever it takes to get sober and to recover.

If you believe you don't want to fall further, have faith that you will be able to stop drinking and become the person you want to be.

JK130

It will be hard at first but you are going to love how much more you can involve yourself in your work and with your children. Don't dismiss the idea of inpatient services without fully taking stock of your needs. Some people find working on sobriety while away from home issues helpful. Do you have medical support?

How are you feeling today? I wish you the best!

Lightning Bug

I have as psychiatrist, psychologist and all of you. I had a full checkup at the hospital and found out my liver is going bad. I take meds for depression and anxiety (non benzo).

I am feeling exhausted mentally. I feel hopeful though.

There is an outpatient program for business people. They offer services at night. I am going to check on that tomorrow

FLCamper

Earthsteps/ LB:
What an experience. I was involuntarily locked up for three days once. Really, it was the best thing that could have happened to me. I was forced to sober up and that got me headed in the right direction. I stayed sober for almost a year, relapsed for about a year and have been sober now for almost 15 months.

Turn this to your advantage - let lying on a broken toilet in a flooded hotel room be your bottom! (I'm only making light of this as I've seen your sense of humor in other posts)

Please keep working at it - 1 hour at a time. You've made it a few weeks, you can string more time together. I'm most definitely pulling for you.

Dee74

I'm sorry for what happened but I'm glad you're back posting.

If you're interested in Rational Recovery/AVRT there's a lot of reading in our secular connections forum:

Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

(ah I see you found it. Hope it helps )

D

Lightning Bug

I even feel like I am losing my humor in life. I rely on that to connect with other people. If I didn't have humor I would be shy and withdrawn.

You make an excellent point. I was lying on a bathroom floor flooded with toilet water with a concussion. How in the hell can I even think of drinking again? This is my ROCK BOTTOM.

Lightning Bug

[QUOTE=Dee74;5929816]I'm sorry for what happened but I'm glad you're back posting.

If you're interested in Rational Recovery/AVRT there's a lot of reading in our secular connections forum:

Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Yes Dee, I found it and posted. I read through the RR cards and made my plan. I feel hopeful now.
(ah I see you found it. Hope it helps )

suki44883

I truly hope it is your rock bottom. You deserve a better life than this. I don't look at "rock bottom" as an event, though. I look at it as a line drawn in our brain that says...NO MORE! I can't stand living like this another moment! It doesn't always take a catastrophic event to bring us to that place, but quite often, it does.

It doesn't matter what brings us there, the fact that we get there is all that matters. I wish you well, LB.

Hevyn

Here's where the madness can end, Earth/LB. You sound ready to reclaim your life and leave the danger of drinking behind. I'm glad you posted about what happened. We all care about you & want to help. You can do this.

Lightning Bug

I want to keep posting and keep talking and keep admitting things.

Dee74

I had a similar event - without the toilet water.
I decided that had to be a turning point because I was on a short road to nowhere good.

I did it - I know you can do it too.

D

Lightning Bug

Thanks. That means a lot.

ReadyAtLast

Welcome back

Lightning Bug

Thanks. I am going to be posting a lot. I hope my humor doesn't offend anyone. I can be a little crazy.

Anna

I'm glad you plan on posting a lot. We're here to help and to offer support.

venuscat

In the chat meeting with you earthsteps....just wanted to send more love.

You are not worthless, and I am very very glad you are still here.

Lightning Bug

Hugs!

thomas11

Hi LB, it sounds like now is as good a time as any to get serious about this.
Sounds like you've got some good support lined up with mental health professionals and this forum. Intensive outpatient is probably your best option if you cannot commit to inpatient. Glad you didn't get hurt.