The rehab report
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Good to hear the lunch went well, Mera. Continue to be gentle with yourself as your journey continues.
The before-and-after photos tell us a lot about what drinking did to us, don't they. You look like someone who believes in herself again, something you deserve richly.
The before-and-after photos tell us a lot about what drinking did to us, don't they. You look like someone who believes in herself again, something you deserve richly.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
I'm happy too. Today we only had the morning doctor's visit and nothing else other than meals, so a lot of down time. After lunch I took a towel and went into the olive grove where it is really quiet and I laid down to get some sun- it is beautiful and warm here today. I fell asleep! Which almost never happens (sober) during the day. It was marvellous. I got a little sun and feel very refreshed.
Afternoon tea and biscuits were just delivered, also the meds.
Chloe and Bob, I didn't take any pictures for you yesterday because we were in a rush. I wanted to be sure to be back for the afternoon group. Even though they are voluntary, I really enjoy them and learn a lot. But tomorrow my boyfriend is coming to pick me up and I have permission to go out. We'll walk around Florence leisurely and I'll get some photos for you
Afternoon tea and biscuits were just delivered, also the meds.
Chloe and Bob, I didn't take any pictures for you yesterday because we were in a rush. I wanted to be sure to be back for the afternoon group. Even though they are voluntary, I really enjoy them and learn a lot. But tomorrow my boyfriend is coming to pick me up and I have permission to go out. We'll walk around Florence leisurely and I'll get some photos for you
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Thank you for sharing your story, Mera! Glad to see that you are having such a good experience. What a progress in physique, mind and spirit! 
Sugarbear is right, it's also my experience that eating small doses of something that I like attenuates cravings immensely, even often takes them away completely. Sweet stuff is not personally my thing but spicy, gourmet snacks and foods are. They satisfy my cravings for instant gratification in an acute way, I can use it very effectively. Whatever non-harmful stuff that you like.
Keep up the inspiring work!
Sugarbear is right, it's also my experience that eating small doses of something that I like attenuates cravings immensely, even often takes them away completely. Sweet stuff is not personally my thing but spicy, gourmet snacks and foods are. They satisfy my cravings for instant gratification in an acute way, I can use it very effectively. Whatever non-harmful stuff that you like.
Keep up the inspiring work!
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,769
Your face must radiate from the sunshine. 
We are having a sunny day here WI and I put my face to the sun and smiled!
I change my avatar to a picture I took of the sunrise this am for you!
We are having a sunny day here WI and I put my face to the sun and smiled!I change my avatar to a picture I took of the sunrise this am for you!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,262
Find a pretty Spring flower in bloom
that would make you smile inside and
out. Or a lovely bird singing happily
up in a tree as you stand and behold
it's beauty.
There's just something awesome about
being outside in the sunshine before it
gets too terribly hot. Or even if I can
find a tree to sit under and feel the cool
breeze. I find peace and serenity when
im surrounded by lovely nature.
I guess that is why I also love riding
passanger with my husband on the
back of our Harely Trike. We have
the nice sunshine on us and the freedom
we feel in the wind.
Im proud of you for taking that step to
get help for your addiction along with
so many of us. Each day you remain
sober and continue to learn and apply
everything you are learning, the stronger
your recovery foundation will be for
you to live upon for yrs. to come.
that would make you smile inside and
out. Or a lovely bird singing happily
up in a tree as you stand and behold
it's beauty.
There's just something awesome about
being outside in the sunshine before it
gets too terribly hot. Or even if I can
find a tree to sit under and feel the cool
breeze. I find peace and serenity when
im surrounded by lovely nature.
I guess that is why I also love riding
passanger with my husband on the
back of our Harely Trike. We have
the nice sunshine on us and the freedom
we feel in the wind.
Im proud of you for taking that step to
get help for your addiction along with
so many of us. Each day you remain
sober and continue to learn and apply
everything you are learning, the stronger
your recovery foundation will be for
you to live upon for yrs. to come.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Georgia
Posts: 711
Mera,
I have been reading your post and following your progress. I am not one who does much posting, but I just have to today, to tell you what a wonderful thing you are doing for your family, and how brave I think you are. You did what needed to be done, even though it is not an easy thing to do. You are an inspiration...
Your before and after pics are amazing! You are a beautiful young woman with a wonderful life ahead of you..
All the best.
I have been reading your post and following your progress. I am not one who does much posting, but I just have to today, to tell you what a wonderful thing you are doing for your family, and how brave I think you are. You did what needed to be done, even though it is not an easy thing to do. You are an inspiration...
Your before and after pics are amazing! You are a beautiful young woman with a wonderful life ahead of you..
All the best.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Hi Mera.
I'm happy to know that you're doing well. The pics look like mother/daughter.
I think it's a good thing to make an emotional attachment with treatment. People who couldn't wait to "get out" when I was in rehab never seemed to take it seriously. A couple were asked to leave, and many others relapsed as they were apparently only biding time. They weren't set free, they were let loose.
When it was time, I didn't want to leave detox. There were, for me, benefits to being drugged up and knocked out most of the time. It wasn't that I was high (though I cannot say that I disliked the feeling), but that I was forced to slow down, to not drink, and to allow my body to start healing. I also didn't want to leave rehab. I was afraid of what I might do once I was no longer under constant care and supervision.
I wanted to drink after being discharged, pretty much all the time, for maybe a year or more. And when all that time passed, I was very surprised that I didn't drink. I did IOP, regular OP, individual counseling and AA. Every day, often several hours each day. And, later, psychotherapy. I needed as much help as I could get, and I didn't much care who or where it came from. I also didn't have much of a choice. I was unemployed and, for the most part, unemployable. I was virtually penniless, and I had nothing better to do.
I stayed away from people who were drinking, and places where drinking was the thing to do. I went to only one social event, my nephew's Confirmation. Afterwards, we had brunch at a country club where there was a wedding reception adjacent to the dining room where we ate. I intentionally wandered over to the reception without actually going in, hoping to find a way to get something to drink. I wasn't able to get close to the booze, and a reasonable time for me to have gone to and come back from the men's room had passed.
At around a year of sobriety, I went to dinner with my brother and his wife on Arthur Ave. in The Bronx. We were told to wait at the bar -- there was no other space in which to wait -- and I proceeded to stare at all the lovely bottles. I needed to get out of there, so I told my brother that I wasn't all that hungry, his wife said the same, and we got some pizza instead.
I hope you learn what you need to learn while in rehab. I wonder if it's possible to continue seeing the psychologist you've been seeing after you're discharged.
It's not a form of treatment, but I think that most of us can benefit from slowing down our lives when we first get sober. (I think this is part of the thinking behind not making major changes or decisions within the first year. At least I hope it is.) Time doesn't move any faster where you are than it does anywhere else in the world. You don't have to run a perfect business, be a perfect mother, or be a perfect partner. Bad things happen in everyone's life, no matter how much we attempt to control things. In the end, that which we attempt to control is also that which controls us and, many times, destroys us. That reality is present in our history, art, and literature, such as Captain Ahab's obsession with Moby Dick, who some might say is the real protagonist in the story.
As I get older, I experience life and the time that passes as one very long day; so very quickly does it pass. Memories fade and also run into one another. Time spent in fear is time lost. I didn't "lose time" in my life because there were times when I did "nothing," but because of my own fear. We don't need to wait until we experience trauma or ease into the end of our lives to see fear for what it is but, sadly, many of us do...or we never do.
As always, I wish you the very best.
I'm happy to know that you're doing well. The pics look like mother/daughter.
I think it's a good thing to make an emotional attachment with treatment. People who couldn't wait to "get out" when I was in rehab never seemed to take it seriously. A couple were asked to leave, and many others relapsed as they were apparently only biding time. They weren't set free, they were let loose.
When it was time, I didn't want to leave detox. There were, for me, benefits to being drugged up and knocked out most of the time. It wasn't that I was high (though I cannot say that I disliked the feeling), but that I was forced to slow down, to not drink, and to allow my body to start healing. I also didn't want to leave rehab. I was afraid of what I might do once I was no longer under constant care and supervision.
I wanted to drink after being discharged, pretty much all the time, for maybe a year or more. And when all that time passed, I was very surprised that I didn't drink. I did IOP, regular OP, individual counseling and AA. Every day, often several hours each day. And, later, psychotherapy. I needed as much help as I could get, and I didn't much care who or where it came from. I also didn't have much of a choice. I was unemployed and, for the most part, unemployable. I was virtually penniless, and I had nothing better to do.
I stayed away from people who were drinking, and places where drinking was the thing to do. I went to only one social event, my nephew's Confirmation. Afterwards, we had brunch at a country club where there was a wedding reception adjacent to the dining room where we ate. I intentionally wandered over to the reception without actually going in, hoping to find a way to get something to drink. I wasn't able to get close to the booze, and a reasonable time for me to have gone to and come back from the men's room had passed.
At around a year of sobriety, I went to dinner with my brother and his wife on Arthur Ave. in The Bronx. We were told to wait at the bar -- there was no other space in which to wait -- and I proceeded to stare at all the lovely bottles. I needed to get out of there, so I told my brother that I wasn't all that hungry, his wife said the same, and we got some pizza instead.
I hope you learn what you need to learn while in rehab. I wonder if it's possible to continue seeing the psychologist you've been seeing after you're discharged.
It's not a form of treatment, but I think that most of us can benefit from slowing down our lives when we first get sober. (I think this is part of the thinking behind not making major changes or decisions within the first year. At least I hope it is.) Time doesn't move any faster where you are than it does anywhere else in the world. You don't have to run a perfect business, be a perfect mother, or be a perfect partner. Bad things happen in everyone's life, no matter how much we attempt to control things. In the end, that which we attempt to control is also that which controls us and, many times, destroys us. That reality is present in our history, art, and literature, such as Captain Ahab's obsession with Moby Dick, who some might say is the real protagonist in the story.
As I get older, I experience life and the time that passes as one very long day; so very quickly does it pass. Memories fade and also run into one another. Time spent in fear is time lost. I didn't "lose time" in my life because there were times when I did "nothing," but because of my own fear. We don't need to wait until we experience trauma or ease into the end of our lives to see fear for what it is but, sadly, many of us do...or we never do.
As always, I wish you the very best.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 709
Wow, Mira, you were beautiful even before you started treatment but it's amazing what sobriety does to your looks! Your eyes and skin are clear and you radiate good health. Doesn't it feel good not to wake up hungover? That was (and still is) so wonderful. I know how much you miss your kids. I didn't get to see mine until I was there at least 3 weeks....but I've been home 3 months now and the whole 7 weeks in rehab was but a blip in time. You are doing so well and should be very proud of yourself!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
EndGame, I relate to what you are saying because I am terrified of leaving here. I was terrified to come and now I feel like I never want to leave. I feel so safe, protected and cared for. Even just going to lunch the other day made me crazy with nerves.
My boyfriend came early this morning to see me. We had to wait for the daily doctor's rounds and then get my meds. It is the first time they have trusted me to take them without them watching me swallow. I took them at noon just as I was told to do. We went to lunch, had a long walk around Florence and then came back in time for 4pm meds. I had a nice time. I started to feel dizzy around 11 or so and went into a bar (bars here serve everything from coffee to juice to breakfast, it is not just alcohol) I ordered a bottle of water and before he got it for me he poured a large glass of red wine right in front of me. I had a little "moment" but was ok. I felt better after the water. We had a nice lunch in Piazza Santo Spirito. I had spaghetti with clams. After lunch as the afternoon wore on I started to get tired and very nervous. There were so many tourists and people about. It was crowded, every single table in every single piazza was filled with people drinking glasses of wine. I just wanted OUT. Thankfully at that point we were on our way back. We walked many kilometres, I am tired but it felt good to get some exercise.
Oh, one thing I forgot is that last evening a nurse came by, she works in another section (I think with the people with depression) but she knocked on my door and said she wanted to come by and tell me how much happier and healthier I looked and that although she doesn't work directly with me she notices everyone and wanted to say how happy she was for me. She sat on my bed and we talked about my kids some. It was very nice.
Chole and Bill, I got some photos for you. Hold tight, they will be uploaded soon.
My boyfriend came early this morning to see me. We had to wait for the daily doctor's rounds and then get my meds. It is the first time they have trusted me to take them without them watching me swallow. I took them at noon just as I was told to do. We went to lunch, had a long walk around Florence and then came back in time for 4pm meds. I had a nice time. I started to feel dizzy around 11 or so and went into a bar (bars here serve everything from coffee to juice to breakfast, it is not just alcohol) I ordered a bottle of water and before he got it for me he poured a large glass of red wine right in front of me. I had a little "moment" but was ok. I felt better after the water. We had a nice lunch in Piazza Santo Spirito. I had spaghetti with clams. After lunch as the afternoon wore on I started to get tired and very nervous. There were so many tourists and people about. It was crowded, every single table in every single piazza was filled with people drinking glasses of wine. I just wanted OUT. Thankfully at that point we were on our way back. We walked many kilometres, I am tired but it felt good to get some exercise.
Oh, one thing I forgot is that last evening a nurse came by, she works in another section (I think with the people with depression) but she knocked on my door and said she wanted to come by and tell me how much happier and healthier I looked and that although she doesn't work directly with me she notices everyone and wanted to say how happy she was for me. She sat on my bed and we talked about my kids some. It was very nice.
Chole and Bill, I got some photos for you. Hold tight, they will be uploaded soon.
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