A shout out to the serial relapser
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
A shout out to the serial relapser
I see many members who have been on SR a long time...years maybe. I count myself as one of them.
It is so hard to come back time and time again having failed. Every relapse gets harder to bounce back from. Part of this I believe is due to the effects of kindling. Part of it is due to embarrassment, disgust, self-loathing, guilt and crippling fear.
It is so much easier to stay away when we have failed. Perhaps we lurk a little, try to re-join a class of whatever month we sadly fell off the wagon. We don't fit any more. We see people we got sober with go on to lead their happy sober lives...we are happy for them, but we remain lost and scared, and confused that our once strong confident commitment to sobriety seems to have vanished.
I'm shouting out today for all those lost souls like me...don't EVER give up. Do whatever you can do to make this stick. Whatever you have tried before, double the effort. Whatever you said you could never do to stay sober, do it. If it makes you uncomfortable or scared...carry on doing it. Change every aspect of your drinking lives and make a new sober one. Be around people who believe in you, who love you, and are shining examples of what good recovery looks like.
And for those people who love us, don't ever give up on us. Don't roll your eyes or give up hope when you read another...'I'm back to day 1' post. Relapsing isn't contagious, we don't do it because we are trying to hurt you, we don't understand how it happens ourselves. I believe it is a sign of advanced alcoholism. Please never turn away from us when we need you most.
This really is a fight for our lives. We are all stronger when we stand together.
I'm one month 10 days sober this time. This last time.
The last relapse will be my last.
Let's do this thing
It is so hard to come back time and time again having failed. Every relapse gets harder to bounce back from. Part of this I believe is due to the effects of kindling. Part of it is due to embarrassment, disgust, self-loathing, guilt and crippling fear.
It is so much easier to stay away when we have failed. Perhaps we lurk a little, try to re-join a class of whatever month we sadly fell off the wagon. We don't fit any more. We see people we got sober with go on to lead their happy sober lives...we are happy for them, but we remain lost and scared, and confused that our once strong confident commitment to sobriety seems to have vanished.
I'm shouting out today for all those lost souls like me...don't EVER give up. Do whatever you can do to make this stick. Whatever you have tried before, double the effort. Whatever you said you could never do to stay sober, do it. If it makes you uncomfortable or scared...carry on doing it. Change every aspect of your drinking lives and make a new sober one. Be around people who believe in you, who love you, and are shining examples of what good recovery looks like.
And for those people who love us, don't ever give up on us. Don't roll your eyes or give up hope when you read another...'I'm back to day 1' post. Relapsing isn't contagious, we don't do it because we are trying to hurt you, we don't understand how it happens ourselves. I believe it is a sign of advanced alcoholism. Please never turn away from us when we need you most.
This really is a fight for our lives. We are all stronger when we stand together.
I'm one month 10 days sober this time. This last time.
The last relapse will be my last.
Let's do this thing
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
I was a serial relapser for nearly two years. But I didn't give up due to the support of my counselor and the good people here. 
Now I'm sober over six years. If I can do it, so can you. 
Now I'm sober over six years. If I can do it, so can you. 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
Posts: 1,736
In my opinion, we ALL inspire each other - whether it's to see how far we've come, to hear the reasons why we NEVER want to go back or to witness how much better it keeps getting - year after year.
This site gives and gives and gives...to any & every one who has a desire to quit. That's all it takes. As long as you keep coming back you'll have a seat on this train. I've always got a spot open next to me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I really hope everyone feels welcome here
Thank you Jeni
D
Thank you Jeni
D
Alcoholism tries to isolate us from real support. It whispers lies in our ears and when we feel low and discouraged, it is easy to take everything to heart. This wasn't meant in any way to suggest people on this forum are at fault, but I have felt my relapses have caused others in general anxiety and fear, and some have distanced themselves from me. That feeds into my sense of isolation.
Oh no. SR. is my home. I'm not about to leave. Thanks Dee ❤️
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
You're a treasured member of this community, Jeni -- one who testifies to the struggle and to how precious is every single day wrestled from active alcoholism. May you continue to move forward bravely!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Alaska
Posts: 14
Thanks for the post Jeni I relapsed the past two days, and I'm really feeling the effects of kindleing today. I missed work yesterday, and was late today. I had to own up to my coworkers and tell them the truth. Hopefully, being honest with them will give me some accountability. Hope you have a good and sober weekend.
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