ICanDoBetter

Today is day 104.

I took the weekend off from working out, not necessarily willingly at the outset. I decided I need to listen to my body rather than push through with whatever it is that is going on. I have some planned events, on that includes fundraising for an important cause, but reality is slowly setting in that I may not be able to participate in the events. I'm not giving up yet, but I'm preparing myself for that reality. It stinks... But oddly I'm finding myself mentally a bit relieved as well. Weird. It occurred to me that if I can't do the planned ride, I'll volunteer that day instead. As for the other event. Debating giving my spot to someone else. We shall see. A plan is unfolding.

And today I will not drink.

Soberwolf

Nice sober numbers x

ICanDoBetter

Today is day 105.

Not much to report, but not missing an accountability check-in :-)

And today I will not drink.

ICanDoBetter

Today is day 106.

Not much to report ... Feeling pretty strong in my journey, though every time I find myself writing that I'm careful to remind myself that I must remain vigilant and not become complacent lest I let my guard down.

And today I will not drink.

ICanDoBetter

Today is day 107.

Checking in - nothing new to report.

And today I will not drink.

Soberwolf

Do you have hobbies x

ICanDoBetter

I do - reading, painting, exercising - enjoy toiling in the garden, playing with the kids, camping, hiking. Lately feel like a workaholic though.

ICanDoBetter

Today is day 108.

Thank goodness this work week is almost over. I simply cannot keep up with the pace lately. Started some work on the flowerbeds last night that we haven't touched since we moved two years ago. Hoping to finish his phase tonight and soon be ready for mulch. I'm excited to see the final product.

And today I will not drink.

ICanDoBetter

Today is day 109.

Beautiful day, sun is shining. I'm not necessarily feeling awesome but feel 'ok' so I'm doing what I can. Doing the swim portion of our groups tri training today, and I won't do the run. Then off to pick up plants and shrubs for the house and work on some landscaping. And with any luck our pool will be swim ready this afternoon. Life is good.

And today I will not drink.

ICanDoBetter

Today is day 110.

So yesterday was rather productive working outside. And yesterday my AV kicked into high gear. I'm a bit embarrassed by it... And that though I didn't drink, I also didn't wake up necessarily feeling awesome about. Basically woke up with the AV still in full force. It's going to be a long day.

And today I will not drink?

LadyBlue0527

LadyBlue reporting for duty, front and center in the cheering section!!!!!!!!!

Please, do NOT be embarrassed. It's easy to come here when we're doing ok but it takes a lot to come here when the AV kicks in. You did it!

This is not easy work and you're doing it! Please, hang in there, come here, busy your mind, it will go away!

You're still having a hard time this morning, there isn't even a little bit of relief that you didn't go through with it? Talk to us.

Soberwolf

There will be days like this ICDB I went through them you done amazing getting through it although i respect it doesn't feel awesome right now it will in time

I like what D said about getting through the day is enough it need not be graceful because some days suck we feel fed up like it's never going to end but by staying sober and on track your doing yourself such a favor that youl look back on this and say I was and still am awesome

Lean on us vent away and stay close, have you tried urgesurfing ?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

Dee74

Fixed that for you

resentment and the feeling that we're missing out can be quite portent weapons in the AV arsenal.

Nothing shuts an AV up faster than going back to post one and reading through - keep going until you remember what all this is for, ICDB

D

ICanDoBetter

feels good to not have caved. But the AV is still talking to me about today - and that was as soon as I woke up. Ugh. We are going grocery shopping a bit later. Perhaps I'll splurge on a yummy organic black cherry soda I found that seems sinful to drink yet really isn't. Being awesome the temptation of a buzz and the relaxation is really what I'm in search of and I know that is a no-no.

ICanDoBetter

And ... I don't want to blame my husband for yesterday, but he did trigger the start. We were running separate errands and he commented that he bought beverages. Slight AV twinge but all was good. A few hours later I took a break from the flower beds and was resting by the pool when he came out with a beverage and said "I out a few in the freezer..." I looked at him and said "why would you tease me?" I believe deep down he really believes/wants me to be able to moderate. He doesn't quite get it I suppose. He said... " you can moderate" and I replied, "can I?"

Now til all was done he drank two and went about the rest of his day. In my mind me having "just one" would mean drinking for the rest of the day.

Dee74

Don't forget to put some energy into 'feeding the right wolf' today IDCB.




You'll be OK

D

LadyBlue0527

ICDB, blaming someone for your drinking is a no no. Blaming someone for your trigger is an entirely different story. He knows what you're trying to do. People who have no problems with alcohol just don't get it. They never will. Telling you that he bought beverages is one thing. Another to sit there and tell you that he put some in the freezer. Talk about dangling the proverbial carrot. Then, following that with telling you that you can moderate.

The important thing is that you know better. Can you have a talk with him about it and ask that he not do that again?

Nowsthetime

I relate a lot.

My hubby was the same in the beginning. It's like they don't get it.

Remember this is not up to them, it's about us.

It's very annoying when they do this so we need to be firm and have the conversation. I've had it several times and he is finally starting to get it.

Stay strong girl! You are doing the work and you should be very proud.

Stay close. We are here with you.

ICanDoBetter

We had several conversations about it early in. For him part of it I believe is feeling guilty drinking in front of me.

But I shouldn't forget that just the other day my younger son looked at me and said, 'mom, I'm glad you don't drink beer anymore and have soda instead since it's healthier for you."

Granted , soda isn't healthy and I don't want them to think that. But I have had some Frank dialogs with my kids when they have pressed me for explanation of why I don't want to drink anymore. I've explained that some people drink too much and are better off not drinking at all. And sometimes it's part of ones personality. I want my older son, who in personality is my twin, to be cognizant of all of this as he gets older.

And yesterday as I had this mental debate for hours with my AV I did find myself playing grouch how I would respond if I had a drink and my kids called me out on it. And I could picture me being mean and simply not caring that I couldn't give them an explanation.

Nowsthetime

Being so honest makes us more accountable. I went to a bbq yesterday and the hosts know I don't drink. They are parents in my daughter's school. I also think of what would happen if I did drink in front of them. I don't want to be full of it. It really helps. I'm also honest with my daughter about drinking. She is only 5 so I do it age appropriately but I do speak openly about it with her.

Our children learn from what we do more than what we say and we want to be a good example. Good for us! I'm proud of that!