New to recovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Chino Valley
Posts: 6
New to recovery
I have been fighting this battle for over 20 years and I am just tired. I have been in recovery for the last 6 years. I have had long term sobriety but the last 2 years I have relapsed after relapse. I know what I need to do but this ugly monster I call alcohol brain just keeps winning out. Not because of any outside influence but because I have chosen to not do the work, get a sponsor and work the steps. I have to or I am going to die from this. I have faith in my self when I am in my sane state but when that other part of me takes over it is just pure reckless behavior.
NA Member - Atheist
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Middletown CT USA
Posts: 770
Originally Posted by NelsonChristine 
I have been in recovery for the last 6 years. ... I have chosen to not do the work, get a sponsor and work the steps.
If you want the results you have to put in the effort. Recovery is not magical. I suggest you get serious and stop making excuses. That tends to kill us sooner rather than later.
Besides, you're worth it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Chino Valley
Posts: 6
I am sorry I was not trying to make excuses. I guess my statement did contradict itself when it comes to the 12 steps. I am struggling here and just needed to get out of my head and take the first step by writing on here. I know I have to work a program, get another sponsor and do the steps. It is baby steps and not leaps and bounds like I would like it to be.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome, NelsonChristine - we're so glad to have you with us.
I was exhausted too when I came to SR. I really didn't think belonging to a group like this would make much difference. I'd been drinking 30 yrs. I was in very bad shape physically & drinking all day - so I really had to quit or die. I was highly motivated - but not feeling alone anymore made all the difference. Talking things over with those who understood took some of the sting out of having to admit I had to stop. It helped me give up forever the idea that I could be a social drinker. I hope you keep reading & posting here. We care.
I was exhausted too when I came to SR. I really didn't think belonging to a group like this would make much difference. I'd been drinking 30 yrs. I was in very bad shape physically & drinking all day - so I really had to quit or die. I was highly motivated - but not feeling alone anymore made all the difference. Talking things over with those who understood took some of the sting out of having to admit I had to stop. It helped me give up forever the idea that I could be a social drinker. I hope you keep reading & posting here. We care.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: MI
Posts: 626
Hello and Welcome. You can do this.... You know what you're in for but you did it once and you CAN do it again. You'll find lots of support here. I would try to spend lots of your idle time here reading, it really helps when your fighting those urges! Wishing you strength and patience as you begin again.
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