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Old 03-13-2016, 09:25 AM
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Thanks sw :-)
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Old 03-13-2016, 09:30 AM
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Anytime x
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Old 03-13-2016, 04:18 PM
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So it's been a chaotic day. I haven't had to 'study' in, ahem, quite a few years. The website where I have to submit my application (before class starts in 14 hours) has been down all day, though I have all the information assembled that I need - just need he site up so can actually do it. And I have a bunch of stuff I have to have memorized for a pop quiz tomorrow. Have been mixing time on that with helping my son with stuff for his science fair project, watched a movie with my other son. And attempted to not totally ignore my husband and the dog. I did give my husband more info on what I have to do for the week and at least I think he is less annoyed with me for being somewhat absent ��

And through all the chaos though I've been checking in here, there's been not a single thought of drinking itself. I love it :-)
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Old 03-14-2016, 01:59 AM
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Today is day 34.

Spent the majority of yesterday prepping for my training this week, interspersed with odds and ends with the family and chores. I never even got out of my jammies... Kind of nice once in a while, lol. The website where I needed to submit some things finally came back online at 10:30 last night and I got that taken care of.. Now to wait a few days to see if my application was accepted or if it will be audited. Then I couldn't fall asleep.. Was after midnight til I did and then it wasn't restful sleep at all... Finally got up at 4/30. Not unusual for me to sleep poorly when I'm nervous... I'm nervous about the training as well as not wanting to oversleep. I have to leave the house far earlier than normal for the long commute to class. I'm going to be exhausted til this is over Thursday but I can do this. And Thursday when class is over, I can come home and crash... After attending my son's science fair program that evening.😜

And today I will not drink.
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Old 03-14-2016, 05:46 AM
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Congrats on everything ICDB
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Old 03-14-2016, 04:32 PM
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Busy busy busy day. 2.5 hours of driving and ten hours in the classroom.

Feeling far less stressed about the class now - whew!

Now for a quick workout to wind down and then some snuggle time with the kiddos.
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Old 03-15-2016, 03:13 AM
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Today is day 35.

Another crazy schedule long day, but knowing what to expect makes me less anxious.

It occurred to me that my adult self often looks back on my high school self and marvels at how I accomplished so much all in concurrence - honor society, band, sports, part time job, etc. I honestly don't know how there were enough hours in the day.

And then I started to think about my adult self. And how when I was drinking, by outward appearances I was a high achiever, getting all kinds of things done... And yet the house and chores were forever in chaos. Since quitting drinking, Ive gotten more efficient at fitting in my 'me' things and balancing the scheduling of those with time for the kids and chores and such. No longer am I allowing myself the excuse that "it's ok if the house is a mess - it means in living life." No I really wasn't. Now I'm living life. Don't get me wrong, the house is far from spotless, but a drop by visitor wouldn't totally embarrass me.

I guess the point is that I'm no longer marveling my younger self as a lost soul in terms of what all I can achieve with the hours in my day... Now I'm channeling her.

And today I will not drink.
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Old 03-15-2016, 05:03 AM
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you don't know how awesome you really are
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Old 03-15-2016, 09:55 AM
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Originally Posted by soberwolf View Post
you don't know how awesome you really are
thanks ☺️
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Old 03-16-2016, 02:42 AM
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Today is day 36.

Yesterday was hectic yet again. Had a few cravings late in the day triggered by the dress and fatigue of the week, but they left rather quickly.

All is well - just exhausted from the week this far. Today is more of the same though class is supposed to get out slightly early.

And today I will not drink.
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Old 03-16-2016, 04:01 AM
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Keep on keeping on
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Old 03-17-2016, 03:18 AM
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Today is day 37.

Last evening it occurred to me that many of my habits and instincts that involved wanting to grab alcohol have been distinctly altered now. It doesn't even cross my mind to have a drink when I get home from work.m when I started this journey I would start thinking about when I could have a drink three hours before I got home. It feels awesome to have that monkey off my back and no longer be at the mercy of those urges. They used to dictate how I would plan and schedule my days, especially the weekends and it so liberating to not have that vice dictating my every movement anymore.

This doesn't mean I'm com placement. I know that I must remain vigilant and cognizant of my actions. I fear that one day I will absentminded take a drink without realizing it, slip back into that habit. So I shall continue my daily mantras and commitment and to develop plans when we have atypical plans so as not to get caught off guard.

And today I will not drink.
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Old 03-18-2016, 03:41 AM
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Today is day 38.

And I'm exhausted! Lol. It's been quite a week but despite that and stress I didn't have any cravings to drink. In fact it occurred to me that if I still were drinking I likely would have muddled through but I would have gotten far less out of the training I was attending.

Bottom for me with regard to drinking was the realization that I was half-a$$ing my way through life. I was sliding down a slippery slope to harming my career, my marriage, my kids ... I'd lost my confidence in myself in so many aspects of my life and was just fooling myself that it was going well. And every single day had become day one for months.

Life feels so much better now. I still have a long road of fight ahead of me to tackle a number of firsts and such... But now I know that I can do this... And I will do this.

And today I will not drink.
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Old 03-18-2016, 04:44 AM
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And today you are utterly amazing congrats ICDB
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Old 03-18-2016, 05:55 AM
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Originally Posted by soberwolf View Post
And today you are utterly amazing congrats ICDB
you're very kind ☺️
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Old 03-18-2016, 06:21 AM
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I'm being honest as well your doing great
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Old 03-18-2016, 10:31 AM
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Just occurred to me as I reread my Wednesday post that it isn't true that I had no cravings - that was misleading the way that I said it. Cravings yes but at times where I'm nowhere near alcohol. And I had no desire to seek it out, nor did the craving linger to still be in place when I got home.
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Old 03-19-2016, 04:02 AM
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Today is day 39.

Slowly recovering from the chaos of the week. Being honest, leading to Friday nights I do still have thoughts of drinking, but when I arrive home there are not cravings and my sense of habit has definitely shifted. When I get home and really need to decompress for a little bit, I either sit down with my puzzle for ten or fifteen minutes or I escape to my bedroom to be alone for a little bit and that really seems to help with relaxing.

Last evening while my husband was cooking I cleared out and reorganized a few cabinets... One of which included the remainder of a jug of whiskey. Honestly I had completely forgotten it was even there and it has been there all along. I paused for a second and looked at it, debating to dump it or leave it for my husband. I set it on the counter, went about my organizing, and put it away. My husband, who had no idea we had it, made himself a mixed drink with what was left later in the evening... And I found myself annoyed rather than envious or jealous. But then I got over it :-)

Not sure what all is on tap today... Errands, a family dinner, etc. As much as I want to jump back into exercising I'm also realizing I need to give myself some time to recoup and re-energize. The week exhausted me... So I'm not going to overdo it today. Tomorrow ... Swim/bike brick workout is on tap. :-)

And today, I will not drink.
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Old 03-19-2016, 04:50 AM
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Awesome post ICDB youl come to love sober friday nights I so look forward to them now as I know il be happy relaxed & sober took a while to get there but with all the hard work your putting in I'm sure youl feel the same soon enough

D posted this in cafe central I'm going to try making one

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ill-alive.html
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Old 03-20-2016, 03:46 AM
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Today is day 40.

Yesterday was full of successes depending upon how you look at it. Ran a number of errands with my son through mid afternoon and by the time all was done I just needed to unwind a little. In the old days that meant I'd start drinking and isolate myself. Now I've progressed to the point where the instinct to grab a drink isn't there but I do still need the quiet/alone time -introvert thing. Last evening we also had an extended family get together with an impromptu follow up at our house - it went far later than expected but wound up being a nice evening.

The other part of success also relates to the introvert thing. This week with not only the crazy schedule but also all of the forced social interactions I hit my breaking point several times. Simply put, I shut down and get Ancy and short tempered when I've had enough - accept the bar is higher when I'm in a work setting and I instinctively shove down more of those personal tendencies ... But that stress of the social interactions is even more bottled up then. And add to it that with the chaos and physical fatigue of the schedule, I didn't get to workout as I normally would, and that provides me a natural stress relief. The victory comes in having made it through the week and not turning to alcohol to unwind or cope. I still need to continue to work on and improve how I ultimately improve how I cope with those stressors, but that was an underlying thing before alcohol entered the picture.

Whew - long winded today :-). Today has some craziness to it as well ... Too much in the calendar - I typically book too many things because it works on paper - I need to work on recognizing in advance where I'm going to be overwhelmed and do a little preventative planning. But I never said I was perfect ... Always a work in progress

And today I will not drink.
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