RoverDog

Hi!

Today I decided to post instead of just lurk around like I usually do.

When I get off work today I plan to stop at the liquor store and buy some wine. Lately, this is my plan every day. I talk myself out of it every single day. EVERY SINGLE DAY! I'm so sick of wanting it and telling myself I can't have it. Does it ever get easier?

ICanDoBetter

Welcome. I'm relatively new but yes it does. I had the habit of stopping on the way home if we didn't have enough alcohol at home ... For me I would say inside of a week that particular habit was assuaged.

27cougar

I struggle with the same thing every workday. I found that taking a different route home rather than past the convenience store helps, and also having a cold seltzer water or soda in my car to drink makes me think I don't need something to drink if that makes sense?

waterlogged

Hi i joined yesterday o have been sober for 10 monthsnow. Trust me it does get easier xx

bandicoot2

Welcome RoverDog! - YES, Yes it does get easier! So glad you found your way to SR and are now posting. Plus, life just gets better each day, especially once you're past the early sobriety stage.

You may have to retrain your brain by driving a different route home, even if you have to go many miles out of your way. And stay busy as soon as you get home. Have you heard of HALT? Ask yourself if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. HALT may be an issue when you drive home, especially if you didn't eat a good or healthy meal during the day.

I added a few more and came up with HALTS. Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired/Thirsty or Sad/Stressed? It helps to really listen to your body and figure what you need instead of alcohol.

Stay with it---Sobriety is so worth it! Have you checked out the 24-hour Recovery thread? It's a good place to mentally check in every day for accountability and support-

amyrose

First, welcome and glad you decided to post. I was also a "lurker" for a while and it felt so good once I decided to type out my thoughts here. I am new so cannot give too much advice, but I made sure to have new activities or patterns, especially in the first few days. So would walk in the city instead of rushing to the train, just to delay my arrival by a bit. Avoided driving past the wine store (am sure they shut down by now since I'm no longer sustaining their wine sales). Even staying late at work helped tire me out and change the pattern. Now on day 23 I don't have the instinct to get wine after work, or the panic of having only one bottle when I know I will want more than that. It does get better.

Upward2Enlightenment

You need to plan not to drink instead of planning to drink and then talking yourself out of it.

This thread might help.
.

Ananda

Hello RoverDog,

I really relate to your post. I know from past experience that it does become a non-issue for the most part over time. That said, it is really difficult when a person is in that "in-between" place. Right now I am fighting the bottle on a daily basis. And yes, every day for several weeks now I have resisted the urge. But that is the worst place we get to. When we are fighting the bottle wether we drink or not ... it is still my obsession at the moment.

I do know it gets better. I do know that in time I have found myself no longer fighting and obsessing about the drinking and actually just enjoying life. But it isn't always overnight .... sometimes it isn't even a few months (sorry if that is discouraging). But eventually I developed new hobbies, new friendships, new goals and alchohol was no longer the number one thing on my brain.

At times (especially early on) I have to remember the simple stuff like

don't drink if your arse falls off

if you don't drink you won't get drunk

if there you don't go to the liquer store you can stay sober

But that isn't where it will end. If you work on other aspects of your life the alchohol can become something you no longer think of every day. Even though I am newly re-sober, I do remember that time I had where it was no longer a battle, a non-issue.

I hope you are looking at ways to change your life so that you can focus on something besides the next drink. That is what I've been working on the last month and it seems to be making a dent in that overwhelming feeling that the drink is all I'm about. I can't tell you what is going to change that for you, but "never give up, never surrender!" Keep looking for the light of something very small that gives you a focus different than on the bottle (a hobby, a dog, a walk in the park... the small joyful moments regardless of the big crp all around you ).

I am wishing the best for you on this journey. At some point it will become easier and the sooner you look for the change, the sooner it will happen (hug)

ccam1973

Welcome aboard Roverdog. First of all, it definitely gets easier with each sober day you get under your belt.

I think you might need to revamp your plan. Like ScrewdupInDE said, start by taking stopping at the liquor store off the table permanently. Then you don't have to talk yourself out of going, if it wasn't an option in the first place.

You can do this and it definitely gets easier.

Purplrks3647

Hey Roverdog, Welcome! For a minute, I thought I was the one who posted this! I can totally relate as well....I sometimes hang on to receipts from my stupid spending, then leave them as a reminder, like taping them to the steering wheel or somewhere to make me stop for a second before going back to the store or the bar. Sometimes it works, others not, but somehow I'm on Day 8 - and if I can do it, so can you! Let's stay close to SR -this site is awesome!

RoverDog

I went to detox June 25, 2016 and managed to stay sober for 4 months, it seems like it got easier each day until the day I decided to stop and get one of those little 4 bottle packs of wine. I drank all 4 tiny bottles and wished I could have more. Then I started wishing I could drink again every day, like now. I went 2 months and fell off the wagon again during Christmas. I drank LOTS and suffered a horrible, wish I would die hang over. During all of my years of drinking heavily I didn't have hangovers. So since December 27th I didn't want to drink at all ever again. Now for the past few weeks, I am back to wanting it every day, all day long! I am sick of myself, sick of wanting something that's not going to make anything better! I know it won't but yet I want it, want it, want it anyway!

I appreciate all of the suggestions. I am trying to read them with an open mind. I think I just posted because I wanted to whine about it to those who have probably felt the same at some point. Misery loves company, you all know.

Thanks for listening.

least

Welcome to the family. When I was about three months sober, I still felt restless and discontented. It was suggested that I start to practice gratitude every day. Find at least one thing I was grateful for.

At first it was hard, as I was depressed, but I made myself find something to be grateful for. After a while it became a habit. By being grateful, I am focusing on the positives instead of the negatives. It changed my whole attitude.

Give gratitude a try.

I found that by counting my blessings, I felt less desire to drink.

Mags1

Hi RoverDog and welcome to SR .

Surrender2win

Welcome to SR RoverDog. Those little 4 packs of wine were my downfall. I used them to try and moderate, but only ended up drinking every last one and going back for more 4-packs! Vicious cycle.

Best wishes on your journey

SoberLeigh

Welcome to the posting side of SR, RoverDog.

It does get easier and better and better, too.

Are you doing anything to cultivate and nurture your recovery?

RoverDog

This made me laugh! My definition of moderate is I get to drink a little more!

Thumpalumpacus

'Sup, Dog?

However long you've been drinking, that's how long you've been ingraining your habit. It will take time to change your habits, and it does indeed get easier, so hang in there and hang out here.

GussWest

RD,
For me, the only thing that works is to really, truly, deeply want something else.
You can want that bottle, and white knuckle it; or you can want something better.

To drink is to die. Good luck with your sobriety.

Delilah1

Welcome to SR, wine was my downfall as well, and I spent a long time unsuccessfully trying to moderate.

Tomorrow I will have 70 days sober, which means I am getting close to 90 days which was where I became complacent and started attempting to moderate back in January of 2013, which led to three years of moderation/sobriety attempts.

You have remained sober in the past, so you know how much better you feel not waking up tired/hungover/foggy. Also, not having the inner battle of "I am not going to drink today/I am going to just have a glass of wine/Screw it at this point I may as well finish the bottle. " argument daily.

Stick around, read, post, and take a different route home that doesn't pass by the liquor store.

Glad you are here!

Drunkdragon

I can demise that a lot of people relapse because the join date usually isn't near the sobriety date. I hope I have the strength to have the same sobriety time as my join date ...I come here daily to seek knowledge and understanding...I own a company my employees drink it becomes such a easy habit....Im just tired of getting sick and tired...lol I am on day 3 and not someone that likes to talk to people about my problems..this site gives many the strength to join and at least give it a try ...cheers all who share it makes me feel I am not alone in this .