People say that "bottom" is a decision...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: 45th Parallel, Michigan
Posts: 816
Yay! Your plan for after work sounds solid; I had a long Sunday afternoon with little planned, so I took my sister out to dinner (paid for with all the money I'm *not* spending on vodka!) Have a good Monday -- Arp
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,393
Thanks! My time with colleague was excellent for distraction. Have to digest a little more to see if I learned anything or got some pointers. But Monday is behind me, and really so is Tuesday now. I have made an appt with my doc to check out additional anxiety options. Mid June. There may be no more that can be done. We'll see.
So far .......so good, right??
So far .......so good, right??
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,393
Day 9.
I'm 99% recovered from illness and truly feeling better in all ways.
My anxiety is really high, and I know I must get it under control and build other ways of dealing with it, as it could be my downfall. I know the background anxiety will still abate with more sober time. But I have a really entrenched, longstanding anxiety pattern around performance at work. Working on that as Job 2, right after simply sober Job 1.
I love my morning readings. But it looks like I've now exceeded my views on that site without registering. Grrrrrrrr.
I'm 99% recovered from illness and truly feeling better in all ways.
My anxiety is really high, and I know I must get it under control and build other ways of dealing with it, as it could be my downfall. I know the background anxiety will still abate with more sober time. But I have a really entrenched, longstanding anxiety pattern around performance at work. Working on that as Job 2, right after simply sober Job 1.
I love my morning readings. But it looks like I've now exceeded my views on that site without registering. Grrrrrrrr.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,393
TEN...and never again!!
Feeling truly good today. As I mentioned I spend the first half hour of my time awake each day reading recovery material (not forums and social stuff, but recovery literature), recommit my intention to live the coming day sober, and then I look at the day ahead with an eye to weak spots I can anticipate--and I come up with a detailed plan to try cope, deal, avoid whatever the problem is. I also look a rolling 3 or 4 days ahead to start getting my mind around pitfalls, like the dreaded Monday afternoon.
Feeling truly good today. As I mentioned I spend the first half hour of my time awake each day reading recovery material (not forums and social stuff, but recovery literature), recommit my intention to live the coming day sober, and then I look at the day ahead with an eye to weak spots I can anticipate--and I come up with a detailed plan to try cope, deal, avoid whatever the problem is. I also look a rolling 3 or 4 days ahead to start getting my mind around pitfalls, like the dreaded Monday afternoon.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,393
Day 11.
Last evening I really struggled. Traveling on business, ended up in a heated disagreement with a peer. The intense technical debate turned into acrimony over process and lines of technical authority. We argued on the shuttle, we argued in front of the hotel, then in the lobby, then took it to a more private quiet corner of the hotel bar. Bars? No problem. Angry disputes? No problem. Liquor being slammed back in front of me during such a personal confrontation? Whew...no bueno. After about 5 mins in the bar, with chances of resolution diminishing, I suddenly felt I could not breathe. I walked out and went to my room almost mid-sentence. Hardly slept.
Last evening I really struggled. Traveling on business, ended up in a heated disagreement with a peer. The intense technical debate turned into acrimony over process and lines of technical authority. We argued on the shuttle, we argued in front of the hotel, then in the lobby, then took it to a more private quiet corner of the hotel bar. Bars? No problem. Angry disputes? No problem. Liquor being slammed back in front of me during such a personal confrontation? Whew...no bueno. After about 5 mins in the bar, with chances of resolution diminishing, I suddenly felt I could not breathe. I walked out and went to my room almost mid-sentence. Hardly slept.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,393
Day 13.
Feel much better today. I spent a lot of time reading in SR yesterday while basically laying around the house. A lot of really excellent experience strength and hope being shared, in response to classic posts of AV delusion and of the heartbreaking places our addiction takes us.
Feel much better today. I spent a lot of time reading in SR yesterday while basically laying around the house. A lot of really excellent experience strength and hope being shared, in response to classic posts of AV delusion and of the heartbreaking places our addiction takes us.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
