A Newcomers Weekender Thread Nov 27
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Maybe that second plate of turkey, stuffing, smashed potatoes, peas and cranberries was too much.
No maybe about it. I can barely move. Now I'm boiling the bones. It was a 5.5 lb breast. What the hello am I going to do with all the meat? I gave a little to my cats and one of them promptly threw up. I think she gets over-stimulated.
Haf, no way I invite strange men - or any men for that matter - into my house. I hope it goes smoothly. I've had too many odd encounters when it's just one-on-one. If he gives you any trouble we'll send sao and MesaMan to bail you out, K? Let us know when he's gone so I don't worry.
I've been looking forward to pumpkin pie, but...
No maybe about it. I can barely move. Now I'm boiling the bones. It was a 5.5 lb breast. What the hello am I going to do with all the meat? I gave a little to my cats and one of them promptly threw up. I think she gets over-stimulated.
Haf, no way I invite strange men - or any men for that matter - into my house. I hope it goes smoothly. I've had too many odd encounters when it's just one-on-one. If he gives you any trouble we'll send sao and MesaMan to bail you out, K? Let us know when he's gone so I don't worry.
I've been looking forward to pumpkin pie, but...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Happy Thanksgiving, all!
Got bounced earlier ... internet connection at my brother's has been a little sketchy.
Will write more later. But I do want to know more about Melina's mango chai bread pudding!
V.
Got bounced earlier ... internet connection at my brother's has been a little sketchy.
Will write more later. But I do want to know more about Melina's mango chai bread pudding!
V.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Originally Posted by happyandfree 
Thanks bim...he's ok, I'm not worried about safety. He lives directly across the street. But I'll let you know when he's gone!
I was so glad when she kicked him to the curb. That was the last time he and I had any civil conversation.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
Day 20 of Gratitude Challenge:
What does it mean to be thankful for your health? A lot, I think. At its most basic level it can be a “There but by the grace of God go I” feeling we get when someone we know dies of a heart attack or gets cancer. The news jolts us into awareness of our mortality, health being what keeps us on the other side.
Being thankful for our health, however, means more than gratitude for being alive itself. On yet another level, it means appreciating the capacities allowed by our health – the cognitive ability to practice our profession and remember people’s names, the physical ability to walk up six flights of stairs when the elevator is being serviced (or when we just feel like it). It’s the security of knowing we can travel to remote places and deal with whatever conditions we encounter. It’s the freedom to put on a pair of skates or skis and try something new without getting wrapped around fear of frailty. It’s about confidence that we have the strength to move most of our own stuff when need arises and take care of our families, tend to our property, and still have energy to enjoy something of everyday life.
Today I attended my monthly aftercare meeting and I was reminded again of how blessed I really am. A guy told us that he has to have a triple bypass – he is in his 40s, and has been sober for over a year. He said that he is trying to give up smoking now. When he was given the news, his first thought was not to have a drink, but he really wanted a cigarette. I told him later that I would light a candle for him. He smiled and thanked me and said that would be really helpful. Another lady told us that she had been sober for 4 months – the longest period in her life, but she had a massive relapse last week, and is tired of travelling the length and breadth of the country, attending rehab centers. She was brought to the local hospital, and was the only person who didn’t mind waiting in A&E, unfortunately because there is an off licence across the street. She is now attending our therapist three times a week, to be given antebuse. I remember those days well, and I am now happy to be trusted to do the right thing. I am even more grateful when I think back to my own situation – I did have a couple of alcohol related seizures, and I am lucky to be here at all.
Yet, I’d suggest health is even more than living, more than functioning. By extension, being thankful for our health means recognizing the deeper dimensions of health itself. When we allow ourselves to wholly appreciate our health – appreciation being the full living out of gratitude, we use and develop our infinite capacities and likewise find infinite joy in its pleasures - the little things – the sun on your back, the feeling of human touch, the runner’s high, a nap’s recharge, a holiday meal’s flavor, the mind’s recollections. In combination with our physical capacities, they’re all part of our inclusive health.
Virgil had it right when he said,” the greatest wealth is health”. I’m thankful for my health, and for the health of my family and friends. Those around me are generally healthy and when faced with health issues, have been able to overcome them. I’ve heard a lot of people say that they took good health for granted until they no longer had it. So I choose to focus on the positives, and appreciate everything that I have and everything I am able to do right now.
What does it mean to be thankful for your health? A lot, I think. At its most basic level it can be a “There but by the grace of God go I” feeling we get when someone we know dies of a heart attack or gets cancer. The news jolts us into awareness of our mortality, health being what keeps us on the other side.
Being thankful for our health, however, means more than gratitude for being alive itself. On yet another level, it means appreciating the capacities allowed by our health – the cognitive ability to practice our profession and remember people’s names, the physical ability to walk up six flights of stairs when the elevator is being serviced (or when we just feel like it). It’s the security of knowing we can travel to remote places and deal with whatever conditions we encounter. It’s the freedom to put on a pair of skates or skis and try something new without getting wrapped around fear of frailty. It’s about confidence that we have the strength to move most of our own stuff when need arises and take care of our families, tend to our property, and still have energy to enjoy something of everyday life.
Today I attended my monthly aftercare meeting and I was reminded again of how blessed I really am. A guy told us that he has to have a triple bypass – he is in his 40s, and has been sober for over a year. He said that he is trying to give up smoking now. When he was given the news, his first thought was not to have a drink, but he really wanted a cigarette. I told him later that I would light a candle for him. He smiled and thanked me and said that would be really helpful. Another lady told us that she had been sober for 4 months – the longest period in her life, but she had a massive relapse last week, and is tired of travelling the length and breadth of the country, attending rehab centers. She was brought to the local hospital, and was the only person who didn’t mind waiting in A&E, unfortunately because there is an off licence across the street. She is now attending our therapist three times a week, to be given antebuse. I remember those days well, and I am now happy to be trusted to do the right thing. I am even more grateful when I think back to my own situation – I did have a couple of alcohol related seizures, and I am lucky to be here at all.
Yet, I’d suggest health is even more than living, more than functioning. By extension, being thankful for our health means recognizing the deeper dimensions of health itself. When we allow ourselves to wholly appreciate our health – appreciation being the full living out of gratitude, we use and develop our infinite capacities and likewise find infinite joy in its pleasures - the little things – the sun on your back, the feeling of human touch, the runner’s high, a nap’s recharge, a holiday meal’s flavor, the mind’s recollections. In combination with our physical capacities, they’re all part of our inclusive health.
Virgil had it right when he said,” the greatest wealth is health”. I’m thankful for my health, and for the health of my family and friends. Those around me are generally healthy and when faced with health issues, have been able to overcome them. I’ve heard a lot of people say that they took good health for granted until they no longer had it. So I choose to focus on the positives, and appreciate everything that I have and everything I am able to do right now.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Hey guys,
I'm home, kinda a bad day, fight with my mom over my brother ( again)
I haven't smoked today, its 6:07 pm here, which is 37 mins longer without smoking through the day than last time.
I'm going to try and continue through the night.
I'm home, kinda a bad day, fight with my mom over my brother ( again)
I haven't smoked today, its 6:07 pm here, which is 37 mins longer without smoking through the day than last time.
I'm going to try and continue through the night.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 793
Originally Posted by Jsbodhi
Hey guys,
I'm home, kinda a bad day, fight with my mom over my brother ( again)
I haven't smoked today, its 6:07 pm here, which is 37 mins longer without smoking through the day than last time.
I'm going to try and continue through the night.
I'm home, kinda a bad day, fight with my mom over my brother ( again)
I haven't smoked today, its 6:07 pm here, which is 37 mins longer without smoking through the day than last time.
I'm going to try and continue through the night.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Originally Posted by badger257
Sorry about the bad day. :/ congrats on the not smoking! Just like drinking, smoking is just something that you don't do. Same AV! You got this.
Xoxoxo
I Think you're right, I can do it.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
On the way back home after our thanksgiving in Duluth. We were going to spend the night, but my daughter made the call that she wanted to go home. My uncle's girlfriend's house is small and not childproofed one bit - not too safe for my granddaughter. It was a lovely time, but it will be nice to be home. I'm not great with sleeping away from home. Two and a half hour drive. Roads are dry despite a bit of snow earlier.
Hope everyone is having a safe and sober evening!
Hope everyone is having a safe and sober evening!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
I hope you feel better Jsbodhi.
There is usually an argument in this house at Christmas.
I can never sleep the night after an aftercare meeting. We had a newcomer tell us that he relapsed badly after 11 years sober. Things are bad for him plus he is not allowed to drive.
I've so much running through my mind and I wish I had cancelled the job interview tomorrow.
I better try to sleep.
Have a nice evening peeps.
There is usually an argument in this house at Christmas.
I can never sleep the night after an aftercare meeting. We had a newcomer tell us that he relapsed badly after 11 years sober. Things are bad for him plus he is not allowed to drive.
I've so much running through my mind and I wish I had cancelled the job interview tomorrow.
I better try to sleep.
Have a nice evening peeps.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,475
.
Rough times at the Ranchette today...
I head out to the Dog Park, and have learned to avoid being Blindsided by being pre-emptive. So, I said: 'Since I'm doing only Alcohol-free Situations this Holiday Season, now would be a good time to have Champagne, if that's what you had in mind'.
[In a very civil Tone]: 'That's what I was thinking of doing'. I'm thinking - damn - that went quite well, and forgot about it.
So, Wind and Cold cut short the Dog Park stint. As I always do, I Text that I'm heading back [after only ~40 Mins]. Icy stares when I get back, and brisk, short answers about Dinner. Hmmm... Mebbe this is not going so well. ~1/3rd of the Champagne Bottle is gone. No biggie. That's Drinking Lite around here.
During Dinner Prep, I get this bristling Lecture about how she 'only wants a Glass of Champagne with Dinner', and 'why isn't that OK'?
'Well, as I've said, it's tiring always being around Alcohol. I need a breather. Just add Alcohol to [her tokes of 3x/Day] Pot and [my] 1x/Day Cigar as things we just don't have at the Dining Room Table'. 'Alcohol should be optional; not always necessary'. Things had already moved into the non-Rational Zone while I was gone; fueled by Champagne. Ironically, she'd told me repeatedly that she like Pot much better than Alcohol.
She literally threw up her Hands: 'Fine. You win'. Um, I didn't know we were having Fencing Duel over Alcohol. I then got the 'No, no, you win. Forget about it' in icy Tones. 'It's been 2 years' [of my Sobriety]. I had run into this POV from about Day 1 of my Sobriety. I should 'progress' to the point of sitting around and happily not Drink - the acceptable, default practice - and 'be over it' by now. 'Over it' being subservient. Compliant to Drinkers' wishes. Oh, and pick up the pace, Pal, at which your Sobriety accommodates over-the-top Drinking. As I already knew, this Alcohol Face-Off is a proxy engagement for Marital Roles. A delicate Dance that I'm not automatically capitulating on anymore. I simply can't afford to. And, that is the shifting Paradigm causing discomfort.
Totally silent Dinner. 2 Hours later: totally silent Cheesecake. Silent Kitchen Clean-up.
A necessary, and actually-quite-good Thanksgiving. The Baby Step of Sobriety Boundaries, and Practices, was thrown down w/o yelling, or snark. Well, on my part. Yah, a Video of today would appear to suck to any Third Party, but 'Sobriety ain't for the timid', as I wrote recently.
Capitulation on my part would have prolonged the Status Quo. It's never 'just a Glass', although it appears to her as such. She views her Drinking as moderate, through the distorting Fun House Mirror of consumption-short-of-Blackouts somehow constituting 'Normal'. On top of non-negotiable, not-to-be-discussed Pot. Which helps her with 2 the crankiness of 2 Knee Replacements.
I've got my Work cut out for me. I knew the Holidays are, at the same, the best and the worst period to get this establishment of Boundaries over with. Later, I'll try to establish that these Boundaries very well could change, but they're not changing this Holiday Season. Not being supported here in my House, too is taking a toll. Dripping Water can bore a hole through Rock over time, and that's what Drinking Scenarios all the time is feeling like. No Pity Party intended here, mind you. It's generating tedium, and me withdrawing occasionally in order to cope.
I [mistakenly] thought that outlets like her going with her White Wine Drinking Gal Pal this Saturday to Xmas Craft Shows all day would buy me time. Nope. The Battle ground is now the Dining Room Table. Her having to Drink in the Bedroom, instead of anywhere/everywhere, is insufficient compromise. At least we got that out in the Air tonight.
Thanks for reading. First World Problems...
.
Rough times at the Ranchette today...
I head out to the Dog Park, and have learned to avoid being Blindsided by being pre-emptive. So, I said: 'Since I'm doing only Alcohol-free Situations this Holiday Season, now would be a good time to have Champagne, if that's what you had in mind'.
[In a very civil Tone]: 'That's what I was thinking of doing'. I'm thinking - damn - that went quite well, and forgot about it.
So, Wind and Cold cut short the Dog Park stint. As I always do, I Text that I'm heading back [after only ~40 Mins]. Icy stares when I get back, and brisk, short answers about Dinner. Hmmm... Mebbe this is not going so well. ~1/3rd of the Champagne Bottle is gone. No biggie. That's Drinking Lite around here.
During Dinner Prep, I get this bristling Lecture about how she 'only wants a Glass of Champagne with Dinner', and 'why isn't that OK'?
'Well, as I've said, it's tiring always being around Alcohol. I need a breather. Just add Alcohol to [her tokes of 3x/Day] Pot and [my] 1x/Day Cigar as things we just don't have at the Dining Room Table'. 'Alcohol should be optional; not always necessary'. Things had already moved into the non-Rational Zone while I was gone; fueled by Champagne. Ironically, she'd told me repeatedly that she like Pot much better than Alcohol.
She literally threw up her Hands: 'Fine. You win'. Um, I didn't know we were having Fencing Duel over Alcohol. I then got the 'No, no, you win. Forget about it' in icy Tones. 'It's been 2 years' [of my Sobriety]. I had run into this POV from about Day 1 of my Sobriety. I should 'progress' to the point of sitting around and happily not Drink - the acceptable, default practice - and 'be over it' by now. 'Over it' being subservient. Compliant to Drinkers' wishes. Oh, and pick up the pace, Pal, at which your Sobriety accommodates over-the-top Drinking. As I already knew, this Alcohol Face-Off is a proxy engagement for Marital Roles. A delicate Dance that I'm not automatically capitulating on anymore. I simply can't afford to. And, that is the shifting Paradigm causing discomfort.
Totally silent Dinner. 2 Hours later: totally silent Cheesecake. Silent Kitchen Clean-up.
A necessary, and actually-quite-good Thanksgiving. The Baby Step of Sobriety Boundaries, and Practices, was thrown down w/o yelling, or snark. Well, on my part. Yah, a Video of today would appear to suck to any Third Party, but 'Sobriety ain't for the timid', as I wrote recently.
Capitulation on my part would have prolonged the Status Quo. It's never 'just a Glass', although it appears to her as such. She views her Drinking as moderate, through the distorting Fun House Mirror of consumption-short-of-Blackouts somehow constituting 'Normal'. On top of non-negotiable, not-to-be-discussed Pot. Which helps her with 2 the crankiness of 2 Knee Replacements.
I've got my Work cut out for me. I knew the Holidays are, at the same, the best and the worst period to get this establishment of Boundaries over with. Later, I'll try to establish that these Boundaries very well could change, but they're not changing this Holiday Season. Not being supported here in my House, too is taking a toll. Dripping Water can bore a hole through Rock over time, and that's what Drinking Scenarios all the time is feeling like. No Pity Party intended here, mind you. It's generating tedium, and me withdrawing occasionally in order to cope.
I [mistakenly] thought that outlets like her going with her White Wine Drinking Gal Pal this Saturday to Xmas Craft Shows all day would buy me time. Nope. The Battle ground is now the Dining Room Table. Her having to Drink in the Bedroom, instead of anywhere/everywhere, is insufficient compromise. At least we got that out in the Air tonight.
Thanks for reading. First World Problems...
.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,393
Home. Relief. In bed. Thankful to say goodnight to you all. I am quite out of the loop regarding what had happened or been shared here. I will catch up in the morning, over coffee. Can hardly keep eyes open, now.
Mesa, 1st world probs are not dismissable as such, but I do appreciate the perspective you try to keep in front of os.
Those still out...I hope and wiiillll you to safely return here! MLD, safe drive. And we know BigS is on an adventure. We think of you who are travelling this weekend.
Those settling in...I hope you rest well and take comfort in the peace of sobriety, no matter what today may have brought, or tomorrow may hold.
Newcomers...welcome, welcome, welcome. Make yourself a place here, explore with us, expand and fully inhabit your sober self. You are going to really love that.
This place is already so precious to me, and I find it more valuable as I grow.
Mesa, 1st world probs are not dismissable as such, but I do appreciate the perspective you try to keep in front of os.
Those still out...I hope and wiiillll you to safely return here! MLD, safe drive. And we know BigS is on an adventure. We think of you who are travelling this weekend.
Those settling in...I hope you rest well and take comfort in the peace of sobriety, no matter what today may have brought, or tomorrow may hold.
Newcomers...welcome, welcome, welcome. Make yourself a place here, explore with us, expand and fully inhabit your sober self. You are going to really love that.
This place is already so precious to me, and I find it more valuable as I grow.
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