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Old 08-22-2015, 06:27 AM   #1 (permalink)
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TOPIC: You Are A Winner. A Survivor.


Hello SR and Good Morning.

I do most of my better thinking early in
the morning and find it a good time to
share thoughts with you here in SR.

As I was fixing my hair I couldn't help but
feel a strong sense of inner strength within
me. I began to say to myself that I should
feel proud of myself for the life I have lived
so far.

56 yrs. with 25yrs sobriety and look
at all the adversities in life Ive gone thru.
All the crosses Ive beared. All the struggles
Ive won. All the paths ive taken to get
me where I am today. The childhood traumas
Ive endured and came out alive on the
otherside.

We all have gone thru different and similar
experiences in life and yet here you are. Alive.
A survivor. A winner. And you have a right
to feel proud of yourself. Your accomplishments.

Tell me that you are a survivor. Tell me
why you are one. Tell me what obsticals
in life you have gone thru and conquered.

Was there some traumatic event that
happened to you and you lived thru it.
Whatever pain you experienced and
you lived thru it, then you are a survivor.

That to me shows inner strength. And
you should commend yourself for pulling
thru it.

We grow and become stronger people
when we realize that, hey, I made it and
have come this far and im still standing.

Im living proof that no matter what happens
in life, I will work thru it, stand strong against
it and will learn from it. You can too.

Have you looked in the mirror lately
to the person looking back at you? Who
do you see? He or she is strong. Inner
strength holding you up. Smile. You are
definitely a winner. Be proud of your
accomplishments. You earned it.
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I turn my will and life over to the care of a Power greater than I on a daily basis for guidance, care and protection.
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Old 08-22-2015, 06:40 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I am a victor over severe early childhood trauma, an abusive husband and various other issues. I believe that we become stronger when we successfully battle adversity. Do I ever wish my path had been easier? Sure! But, if that had happened I wouldn't be who I am today - an elderly woman who is relatively at peace and happy most of the time. You can't beat those good feelings :-)
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Old 08-22-2015, 07:17 AM   #3 (permalink)
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"Do I ever wish my path had been easier? Sure!
But, if that had happened I wouldn't be who I am today "

Thank you Saskia for sharing. And yes I absolutely
agree with all you wrote and more so with the quote
above.

All we go thru in life no matter who we
are, we can either ride above it or allow
it to bring us down. And yes, addiction
to alcohol tried to bring me down yrs ago,
however, with being placed in proper hands
to be taught about it and given the gift of
knowledge and a capable mind to learn it,
then I was able to conquer all those demons
associated with it.

Im sure there are many members here in
SR that may not realize how much of a
survivor they are today. The further away
from the fog of addiction, the clearer you
will see that you, many of you, if not all of
you, no matter where you are in life, in some
way or another, are survivors of lifes obsticals.

Whether it be domestic, physical, financial,
spiritual, emotional, in addiction, out of
addiction, associated with addiction, family
situations, trauma of some sort, abuse, etc.
we are all affected by them, but with all the
help aavailable today for us to learn from,
grow from, rise above them, we become stronger,
healthier, happier, freer than ever before.

Now that's what im talking about.
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Old 08-22-2015, 07:35 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Hi.

Much of my dysfunction came from inside feelings similar to not being good enough and from loving parents who just didn’t have a clue about raising children though they did the best they could. Through childhood I absorbed anger, insecurity, non trust, control, perfection and on and on. Then pile that onto a compulsive and unknowing person I found a friend in alcohol which for a period did what I was looking for.
After a period of escalated drinking I came to a point of being sick and tired of being sick and tired and after awhile with the help of many program people became sober.

Fortunately from the first sober day I was willing and then the work and changes started as the reasons for me to drink needed to be addressed. In other words the void alcohol left needed to be filled with healthy ingredients to subvert a return to drinking, which I don’t think I have another recovery from.

So far the benefit I am grateful for is the feeling of being comfortable in my own skin, most of the time.
Other benefits would include doing things in the “Bucket List” I’d never even attempted or feel comfortable doing. This is not saying all issues are totally under control even simple ones like walking into a meeting late, my self centered fear is still present though not as bad. I feel relatively comfortable most times speaking at speaker meeting or chairing meetings.

Darn I’m not perfect yet!

BE WELL
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AA IS NOT A SENTENCE, IT’S A REPRIEVE.

ALCOHOL-ISM= INCREDIBLE SHORT MEMORY.

I CAME FOR MY DRINKING AND STAYED FOR MY THINKING.

WE ARE NOT FAILING AS LONG AS WE KEEP TRYING.

WHAT I USED TO CALL BOREDOM I NOW CALL SERENITY.
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Old 08-22-2015, 07:50 AM   #5 (permalink)
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All those obsticals we hurdle over whether
large or small, as long as we attempt to leap
over them, then we have progressed to
achieving a goal within ourselves. A gift
inside us that burns bright.

Selfworth.

Walking in a meeting late takes a strong
sense of confidence within us. To face fears
that use to haunt us is gone. What an awesome
achievements. Well Done..!!!!!

Thanks IOAA2 for sharing your experience,
strengths and hopes with us to learn from.
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Old 08-22-2015, 11:36 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Last night my wife and I were talking and something stirred a very old memory. When I was about 12 I was hit by a route truck on my bike. My fault - not looking where I was going. Ambulance, hospital. Resulted in a foot injury which healed over time.

Over the many years I have repeated the story on occasion to others. One of those childhood things long put on the memory shelf. Last night I relieved each moment. I realized, perhaps for the first time that but for a split second I would have been directly in front of the truck and not hit by a glancing blow from the side. Death or a much more serious injury was probable.

When I think of these things, and many other events - as we've all had my thoughts always seem to go back to the hymn Amazing Grace. The simple line in the song seems to sum it up colorfully for me - "Through many dangers, toils and snares.......I have already come!"

Yes, dangers - toils and snares. The scary, the weary / heavy stuff and the traps of life.

When I look in the mirror tonight, I will think of this thread and my sober friend who I admire -

Thanks Sharon for filling me up this afternoon
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Old 08-22-2015, 01:49 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Thank you Fly N Buy for sharing from the
heart.

There were many times I use to look
in the mirror, especially when I was
young and feeling so helpless at the
hand of a sick mom dealing with her
own demons at that time, inflicting
such physical, emotional, verbal abuse
on me.

Tears would be flowing from my red
eyes, a little child of God who would
often ask why me and think about just
exiting out of all that cruelty, hurt and
pain.

Then as I continued to talk to the
mirror, talking to God, knowing
darn good and well, He wouldn't
want me to give my family the
satisfaction of seeing me give up
on life no matter how horrible I
thought it was.

Id muster us enough courage to
tighten up, get some much needed
strength from my HP - higher power
who has always been with me, wipe
the tears and go back out doing the
next best thing I was suppose to be
doing at that moment.

Several time I found myself in situations
like that and found strength and peace
to pull thru and move forward.

The mirror is still here in my own
bathroom and never do I have to
feel like a loss soul or child, but
rather I can stand reassured , sober,
strong, filled with selfworth, a surviver,
with that smile just thinking about
a package I just received in the mail.

One of those Give A Mouse A Cookie
Dolls and book....lol

Its a gift to myself because there is
still a child inside me that refuses to
completely grow up...lol

SR go look in the mirror tonight
and come back and share with us
what do you see. Who is that AWSEOME
person looking back at you in the mirror.
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Old 08-22-2015, 02:03 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Sharon, I love reading your post and I'm so glad you feel like a strong and capable woman.

I survived severe childhood trauma which left me feeling the emotional age of a 4 or 5 year old when I was 18. Recognizing the extent of the trauma took years in itself. There are some days when I don't see a woman at peace when I look in the mirror. There are some days when I have to reach out and cherish the little girl. But, like you, I know the Universe has taken care of me many times when I was ready to give up and that's amazing to me.
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Old 08-22-2015, 03:25 PM   #9 (permalink)
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You are a strong women yourself Anna
here with us in SR. Guiding us each step
along the way in each of our own journeys
in recovery.

The child like in each of us teaches us many
lessons and kindness and caring shines
thru us and reflects right back at us when
we look in the mirror.
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SHARON B.
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8-11-90

I turn my will and life over to the care of a Power greater than I on a daily basis for guidance, care and protection.
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Old 08-22-2015, 06:59 PM   #10 (permalink)
Almost anything can be preserved in alcohol except health, happiness, and money Mary Wilson Little
 
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I saw extreme violence as a child I remember my sisters and my kid brother huddled up crying in fear knowing my dad was beating my mother half to death once with a hammer once I had a broken leg as a kid and he was throwing plates at my mum I stood in front of her turned my back as he continued to throw them smashing off my back I still have scars on my back caused by him

He once grabbed me by my throat and lifted me off the ground

Once as a 18-19 yrold I put my key in the door and he was there and about to beat her

I broke his leg and crushed it he now has metal plates in his leg

I've had suicide attempts in my family self harm psychiatric hospitals visiting my mum at christmas

Deaths by heroin overdose and alcoholism in both my mum & dads family plus solvent abuse family in prison was normal for me

lost all grandparents by 11-12

A family member went through something horrific that changed our lives forever

My mothers terminal cancer diagnosis and death 3 months after that

More than a few ppl who know my family have said if this was them they'd properly be dead or in prison

I've been in my fair share of jail cells for fighting or drugs

I'm a trillion light years from that person now

Excellent thread btw
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Old 08-22-2015, 08:28 PM   #11 (permalink)
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One thing I have learned making it through my daughter's illness and death is.

You don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

Bob Marley
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I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself


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Old 08-22-2015, 09:19 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Gosh, aasharon. Something in me triggered!

Yes, my childhood was terrible, I had to be an adult long before my time,

Why did I have to be the grown up, why did my mum look to me for the answers at 10 year old. Was I her ally, was she bouncing stuff off me not realising I took it all in and wanted to protect her from everything awful?

This person being my dad, a lovely man sober, but jeckyl and Hyde with the drink. So instead of despising, I then followed in his footsteps, anesthetising myself with booze.

We can't go back, I would have done it differently, but now my life is sober, I live an honest, hold my head up, life.

I know that, despite anything thrown at me, as long as I have my sobriety, I will learn to live free.
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Old 08-23-2015, 06:12 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I am in awe of the stories I am reading here. The trauma I suffered was horrific, was a one-time event and I know how that scarred me. I can't even imagine ongoing trauma within a family of origin.
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Old 08-23-2015, 07:08 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Sharing stories, experiences from our
past is not meant to relive the past,
because, for gosh sakes that time in
our lives was enough trauma, pain
to last a lifetime. You know what I mean?

Many of us in recovery, whether we
have been sober or clean for a number
of yrs, or those just coming into recovery,
have either found a solution to help us
heal from the past and grow healthier,
stronger from it.

Many of those just getting into recovery
have no idea that so many before them
have had traumatic past events and used
alcohol or drugs to either forget that time
in their lives or numb those thoughts or pains.

Now that they are seeking help to learn
to live life without chemicals in their bodies
that causes more harm than good, they are
also having to learn how to come to terms
of the past, accept it, learn to forgive and
move forward in a healthier, happier manner
in life.

Those just coming into recovery will now
know that they are not alone. That so many
of us who are learning to stay sober or clean,
can also realize that they are survivors today.

That they and us are stronger because of
it. We stand strong with an inner confidence
that is empowering to us.

We learn that even tho we were vunerable
to toxic people in our lives in the past or even
today that we no longer choose to accept that
kind of behavior. We now have a personal
triumph over hurt and pain.

A recovery program incorporated in my
everyday life has taught me a lot and today
I am stronger in heart, mind and soul because
of it.

You too can be mentally, emotionally,
physically as well as spiritually strong
and fit in all areas of you life because
YOU, WE, US are WINNERS / SUVIVORS.
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Old 08-23-2015, 11:56 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I think what triggered for me was the fact I'm not that person anymore. It was in a good way. More of a realisation.

Thanks for the post aasharon.
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“My favourite day.” said Pooh
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Old 08-23-2015, 12:09 PM   #16 (permalink)
Almost anything can be preserved in alcohol except health, happiness, and money Mary Wilson Little
 
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Sharon I think this is a excellent thread it helped me
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Old 08-23-2015, 04:48 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Hi Sharon,

Childhood wasn't terrible at home - not great but nothing close to what other people had to deal with. For me school was hel* Very tall, chubby and mature for my age I was singled out and bullied a lot. The standards stuff- name calling, taking my stuff, putting things in my locker and desk. I hated school, man I really hated it. By 7th grade was drinking, by 9th smoking weed and trying other drugs, by 11th grade added eating disorders. By 20 realized I was gay and - well - that didn't make things with my family any better - fought and went through a lot of therapy and by 30 accepted me for who I was.
I now have 4 great kids, a great job but still struggling with drinking, eating issues etc. I feel like I'll always be battling - but now there are some truly good times in there. I hope they get more frequent.
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