Gosh, aasharon. Something in me triggered!
Yes, my childhood was terrible, I had to be an adult long before my time,
Why did I have to be the grown up, why did my mum look to me for the answers at 10 year old. Was I her ally, was she bouncing stuff off me not realising I took it all in and wanted to protect her from everything awful?
This person being my dad, a lovely man sober, but jeckyl and Hyde with the drink. So instead of despising, I then followed in his footsteps, anesthetising myself with booze.
We can't go back, I would have done it differently, but now my life is sober, I live an honest, hold my head up, life.
I know that, despite anything thrown at me, as long as I have my sobriety, I will learn to live free.