Great googly moogly
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Moderation wasn't about strength for me tho - just the opposite...
it was all about a willing surrender to an addiction that would have killed me had I not found the strength to change my life.
D
it was all about a willing surrender to an addiction that would have killed me had I not found the strength to change my life.
D
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by MilitiARGH 
So no-one who's actually mentally strong enough to kick a habit, and exercise it in moderation is going to come back here.
It's entirely possible that you are not an alcohoic, but then again...if you aren't you should be perfectly capable of drinking in moderation right now.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,517
I have enormous respect for the people here who acknowledge their addiction and choose to live their lives free from that addiction.
If you are not an addict, and can moderate, then go for it and you should have no problems.
If you are not an addict, and can moderate, then go for it and you should have no problems.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,909
Sorry, I couldn't resist. 
Welcome to the forum! Great choice in abstaining for now. I'd suggest reading more topics on moderation here while you're giving it a go. You may discover we're not all that differently wired after all. I'm all about moderation too - in everything except alcohol and addictive mind-altering substances... It is just not ever possible to moderate again for a person who's crossed over into addiction. I had very similar thoughts and feelings for awhile, with deep aversion to group therapy approaches and "hi, I'm XXX, and I'm an alcoholic", ugh. I still can't and don't want to say it. After every moderation plan possible and virtuoso attempts to keep my drinking "normal", I'm here now, a year alcohol-free, confident it's been the best decision of my life.
Love the topic title. Googley-moogley, hee heee. Come 'ere.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 607
I'm giving myself 38 years before I drink again. I have proven that I suck at moderating and if I make it till 90 nobody will give a $#!t and I won't have to bother.
Meanwhile hang in there. Four days into it your probably still a bit off keel. It took me at least a month to feel somewhat normal (whatever normal is). Hope your plan works out for you.
No hugs from me.
Meanwhile hang in there. Four days into it your probably still a bit off keel. It took me at least a month to feel somewhat normal (whatever normal is). Hope your plan works out for you.
No hugs from me.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
My biggest issue I think with recovery is all the lovey-dovey group hug stuff, which I despise.
haha!
if that's your biggest issue with recovery, you' good to go. will be a breeze, the rest of it.
the rest of it, leading back to normal drinking.
i had, years ago (when i was still convinced it was all a matter of will-power) set myself a period of six months ' abstinence, after which i would re-evaluate. it wasn't too hard to not drink for six months. this led me to conclude that therefore (!) i clearly had this thing under control and could now drink, seeing as not drinking had been fairly easily doable.
what i didn't realize at the time was that quitting was fairly easily doable solely because i knew there was drink at the end of it; just postponed.
in those six months, there was no need to change anything, really, least of all my mindset. just kept on clicking right along in "i will drink" mode.
but i'm rambling here.
you have clarity on what you want.
so i'm surprised you're at SR instead of Moderation Management. MM, last time i checked, strongly suggests a three-months abstinence before commencing the moderate drinking. sounds like the perfect place to get support for your plan.
you want to be normal drinker. normal drinkers, of course, don't really moderate. they don't think about it. there's nothing to moderate.
haha!
if that's your biggest issue with recovery, you' good to go. will be a breeze, the rest of it.
the rest of it, leading back to normal drinking.
i had, years ago (when i was still convinced it was all a matter of will-power) set myself a period of six months ' abstinence, after which i would re-evaluate. it wasn't too hard to not drink for six months. this led me to conclude that therefore (!) i clearly had this thing under control and could now drink, seeing as not drinking had been fairly easily doable.
what i didn't realize at the time was that quitting was fairly easily doable solely because i knew there was drink at the end of it; just postponed.
in those six months, there was no need to change anything, really, least of all my mindset. just kept on clicking right along in "i will drink" mode.
but i'm rambling here.
you have clarity on what you want.
so i'm surprised you're at SR instead of Moderation Management. MM, last time i checked, strongly suggests a three-months abstinence before commencing the moderate drinking. sounds like the perfect place to get support for your plan.
you want to be normal drinker. normal drinkers, of course, don't really moderate. they don't think about it. there's nothing to moderate.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 544
Mil - Please stick around here and update us with your progress over the next 3 months. For now, I hope you're not suffering the ill-effects of withdrawal, and if you are, most of us here know what you're going through. . .
To make it to your goal, consider combining your will with a plan (ie a set of behaviors you can engage in to keep you away from booze- like exercising, eating healthy, therapy - so many to choose from - SR, etc. . . ).
I will be very interested in hearing your perspective throughout the journey (no matter what length). Maybe we can learn something from each other?
To make it to your goal, consider combining your will with a plan (ie a set of behaviors you can engage in to keep you away from booze- like exercising, eating healthy, therapy - so many to choose from - SR, etc. . . ).
I will be very interested in hearing your perspective throughout the journey (no matter what length). Maybe we can learn something from each other?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi everyone
I'm brand new here and very confused by how to use the forum. I need to spend some time getting familiar with how to post. If I mess up I'm sorry in advance.
This thread really caught my attention for a few reasons. It has been my experience that discovering and ultimately accepting my alcoholism was a process. I had to go through it in my own way and in my own time. No one could tell me what I was, what I had to do. Right or wrong, that discovery was part of my journey. I think, just maybe, militia is starting that journey. He will find out for himself if he is or is not an addict. I can share only my experience. For me, there is no 'we' or 'us' in sharing my personal experience. It's just me. It is my impression that militia is simply looking for those that understand him, possibly? And he might be able to learn a thing or two. I hope truly he is not an addict and can moderate. He will learn quickly if he cannot. It has been my experience with my own addiction, and with interaction with other addicts, that moderation is unlikely. Some can moderate for a time, I did for two years, but the walls generally come tumbling down. For me, once I planted the seed in my heart that this alcohol thing wasn't going so well, my drinking was never the same. And call it mind games, disease progression, neurological damage....my drinking increased with each relapse.
Personally I think that accepting all who are baffled by alcohols power , whether in acceptance of their addiction or not, should be welcomed. There could be tremendous knowledge to be gained by others questioning their drinking in someone openly and honestly sharing their real time experience with moderation.
Militia, as someone who is recognizing that alcohol is getting the upper hand (physical withdrawal is a strong indicator of this) and is the offspring of alcoholics, I commend you for taking this first step. A preemptive strike if you will. In order to develop physical withdrawal your tolerance is probably pretty high....which means, in short, you've been putting some effort into this drinking thing. Maybe during this time ask yourself why? Is it to relieve anxiety? Deal with self esteem issues? Depression? Stress? Normal drinkers do not drink to the point of developing physical tolerance....they just don't. That takes a certain dedication to the cause, if you will
. My experience is that drinking to that level is usually a symptom of underlying causes and conditions. But again that's for you to decide.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you share your experience.
I'm brand new here and very confused by how to use the forum. I need to spend some time getting familiar with how to post. If I mess up I'm sorry in advance.
This thread really caught my attention for a few reasons. It has been my experience that discovering and ultimately accepting my alcoholism was a process. I had to go through it in my own way and in my own time. No one could tell me what I was, what I had to do. Right or wrong, that discovery was part of my journey. I think, just maybe, militia is starting that journey. He will find out for himself if he is or is not an addict. I can share only my experience. For me, there is no 'we' or 'us' in sharing my personal experience. It's just me. It is my impression that militia is simply looking for those that understand him, possibly? And he might be able to learn a thing or two. I hope truly he is not an addict and can moderate. He will learn quickly if he cannot. It has been my experience with my own addiction, and with interaction with other addicts, that moderation is unlikely. Some can moderate for a time, I did for two years, but the walls generally come tumbling down. For me, once I planted the seed in my heart that this alcohol thing wasn't going so well, my drinking was never the same. And call it mind games, disease progression, neurological damage....my drinking increased with each relapse.
Personally I think that accepting all who are baffled by alcohols power , whether in acceptance of their addiction or not, should be welcomed. There could be tremendous knowledge to be gained by others questioning their drinking in someone openly and honestly sharing their real time experience with moderation.
Militia, as someone who is recognizing that alcohol is getting the upper hand (physical withdrawal is a strong indicator of this) and is the offspring of alcoholics, I commend you for taking this first step. A preemptive strike if you will. In order to develop physical withdrawal your tolerance is probably pretty high....which means, in short, you've been putting some effort into this drinking thing. Maybe during this time ask yourself why? Is it to relieve anxiety? Deal with self esteem issues? Depression? Stress? Normal drinkers do not drink to the point of developing physical tolerance....they just don't. That takes a certain dedication to the cause, if you will
. My experience is that drinking to that level is usually a symptom of underlying causes and conditions. But again that's for you to decide.I wish you the best of luck and hope you share your experience.
aka Nesty
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
Quote:
I'm Happy for you ---- Quote : these people are nothing like me, I never went to jail, lost my home...
Lived under a bridge. What can I, a successful man hope to learn from people like this"
But those things happen to the best of us - Even in times of Moderation
: Hope you don't find yourself saying 
how did I get here ? 
Lived under a bridge. What can I, a successful man hope to learn from people like this"
But those things happen to the best of us - Even in times of Moderation
: Hope you don't find yourself saying how did I get here ?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Welcome to SR Frickaflip
Soberrecovery is a forum for those recovering from alcohol and substance abuse addictions and help for family and friends whos lives have been affected by someone else's addiction.
I, with the the other mods here, and all the members of the Newcomers forum family, work hard to ensure that anyone who rocks up here gets a good welcome
Our mission here is to share our experience both with quitting and recovery
Glad you've joined us...
D
Soberrecovery is a forum for those recovering from alcohol and substance abuse addictions and help for family and friends whos lives have been affected by someone else's addiction.
I, with the the other mods here, and all the members of the Newcomers forum family, work hard to ensure that anyone who rocks up here gets a good welcome
Our mission here is to share our experience both with quitting and recovery
Glad you've joined us...
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: illinois
Posts: 907
When I was 9, I spent my allowance on some cheeze-wiz. 2 cans. Pretty much went through both of them in one sitting. Experienced nausea and vomiting bad enough to put me off the stuff. For 30 some years!!
Ive since been to multiple gatherings where "normal" folks squirt it on triskets and tortilla chips. Sometimes they shoot it directly in their mouths! Am I tempted? Nope.
Why? Why is this different? After all, I got every kind of pukey green there can be drinking. Sometimes for multiple days. Still wanted to go back... Turns out, alcohol gets me high.
It sounds too simple, I know. -once I asked my father (who is completely normal drink-wise), "Dad, what if your doctor told you you shouldn't drink ever again?". He said "Well, I'd just drink other things...I don't like soda, so I'd probably have tea or water when out to dinner."
Yep. He didn't even pause for a second. -head scratcher, there.
Ive since been to multiple gatherings where "normal" folks squirt it on triskets and tortilla chips. Sometimes they shoot it directly in their mouths! Am I tempted? Nope.
Why? Why is this different? After all, I got every kind of pukey green there can be drinking. Sometimes for multiple days. Still wanted to go back... Turns out, alcohol gets me high.
It sounds too simple, I know. -once I asked my father (who is completely normal drink-wise), "Dad, what if your doctor told you you shouldn't drink ever again?". He said "Well, I'd just drink other things...I don't like soda, so I'd probably have tea or water when out to dinner."
Yep. He didn't even pause for a second. -head scratcher, there.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: FLAAADAH
Posts: 793
Well Mil...I think the LAST thing you need is a "Pat on the Back".
I think a good swift kick in the Azz would do you more good !
You are obviously having a bad day/evening. Why dont you have a good meal, chill and get some sleep and come back in the morning and lets pick it up from there.
OK ?
DD
I think a good swift kick in the Azz would do you more good !
You are obviously having a bad day/evening. Why dont you have a good meal, chill and get some sleep and come back in the morning and lets pick it up from there.
OK ?
DD
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