trachemys

And what the hell do I want "moderation" for? Two drinks a night? Holy mary mother of god. Two drinks wouldn't even twitch me meter of affect. My sister asked me once, if I'd had even a beer. One beer would be like primer. The 23 after would be the result.

suki44883

Wow! Well, I guess the only thing I have to say to you, MilitiARGH, is give it a shot. If it works for you, great. I didn't work for me and it didn't work for any of the rest of us here, but who knows? You might be that rare, special snowflake. Good luck.

On The Road

Welcome MilitiARGH. It's a good start admitting that you have a problem with alcohol and absolutely need help with it. Most of us who come to that conclusion realize that we are not normal drinkers and can never be. Maybe you don't fit into that category. What I can say is that many of us here have tried moderating our drinking to detrimental results. From my humble experience, when I tried doing so, I increased my consumption. Sobriety was my only way off the f***ing crazy train. I wish you luck on your 3 months. Please hang around and read this site - there's a lot wisdom to ponder over.

Soberwolf

Right you want to cut it out all together as its become destructive in some way

Then hopefully youl get it under control as soon as you drink

Dude

You proper care about drinking look at what your telling yourself

Why is drinking alcohol important enough to train in abstinence only so you can go drink again

Hi I'm Soberwolf I'm 33 and I'm a alcoholic been sober 25 months

Have you considered your alcoholic

MilitiARGH

Thanks. This site has been more beneficial than I'd like to admit.
A really deep sense of community.

MilitiARGH

It's important for me to not drink from 4 days ago to how ever long it takes me, so that I'm no longer physically and mentally addicted.
That's my goal. That's why it's important to me.

I'm MilitiARGH and I've been sober for 4 days straight now. Nice to meet you.

I've considered that, and I've come to the conclusion that labels like that are harmful to my way of thinking.
I've abused alcohol, and It's time I stop abusing it.

Hevyn

I'm glad to hear you're finding it helpful. It is quite a remarkable place. (I'll leave the smiley off...)

MIRecovery

You may wish to look up "Terminal Uniqueness"

MilitiARGH

"these people are nothing like me, I never went to jail, lost my home...
Lived under a bridge. What can I, a successful man hope to learn from people like this"

I'm saying I have a problem. I wish to quit for 3 months, and re-evaluate. If I, and others feel that I'm responsible enough to have 1 beer and go about my business, then I've learned. If not, I'll continue my sobriety as long as it takes.

I looked it up, where are my brownie points?

trachemys

lmao

I like you. Hang around.

MilitiARGH

The plan is to not (for too long) , however I'll take that as a compliment. Thanks.

Olive1

Isn't a brownie point much like a pat on the back?

MilitiARGH

Yeah, except the brownie point you get to cash in later.

jaynie04

Hey Militi and welcome. You might want to read "under the influence". It outlines the physiological changes that occur in a certain subset of the population in respect to alcohol. It helped me a great deal because I read it as compelling evidence that I was simply wired differently. I see it as a medical affliction with a behavioral component. I think often it is easy to get preoccupied with the idea that one can change the behavioral component hoping that it will lead to a physiological change. That has not been the experience of most people who develop substance abuse problems.

I conceded that this was now permanently a part of who I am. I have been athletic all my life, but at 50 no matter how hard I work out I will never have the stamina I had 30 years ago. My behavior can't undo the fact that I am aging.

I know that there was an invisible point that I went from being a normal drinker to abusing alcohol. I wasn't an out of the gate abuser, it crept up on me over the years. I am third generation alcoholic as well, I watched the progression and I feel lucky that I was able to get sober before I lost a lot of things that are dear to me.

The idea of giving up alcohol totally was absolutely petrifying to me, I had orbited around it for the last few years of my drinking. When the newness of sobriety wore off, however, I need to have day to day touchstone with others who understood and SR has proved invaluable. Glad you are here.

MilitiARGH

Thank you for that.
I don't think I'm immortal however. Naive? Absolutely.

I do think that I'm on the right path, and have chosen wisely.

Again, we're all wired differently. And I don't want to read into something, that everyone else that has tried and failed to do. I'm all about moderation.

MilitiARGH

I tried editing that, and it's still a grammatical abomination. I need sleep.

1dayaddatime

Yeah militia I mentioned moderation on a previous thread I started and it wasn't received well either. The thing is I am not looking to moderate because I know I can't, but some still tried to make it seem that I was. Anyways, good luck to you in your journey, and I hope you can fine something that works perfectly for you.

Cleomie

Jaynie04 posted this on 08/18 and is also how I feel about this matter:

Moderation doesn't scare me, drinking is drinking. I don't drink and my life has improved immeasurably. I feel grateful that the one thing that was hampering my life was within my control, that the choice was in my hands. I don't envy people who moderate but wish they could drink more, more, more. That is an uncomfortable tension that I don't miss.

I think quitting drinking while entertaining the thought of hopefully returning to moderation is like a fast, where there is short term depravation with relief in sight.

I have been here over two years. I have never read a post from someone who started drinking again and came back to report how much their life has blossomed. I have read plenty of posts from people who come back after attempted moderation who fondly reminisce about a sober time and how they miss that feeling.

If you are equating moderation with being challenged I would submit that there are a lot of challenges I have met that I am proud of, sipping a glass of wine while wishing I could down a magnum with a funnel isn't a challenge to me. That would be self induced torture that keeps me hostage, tethered and submissive. Real challenges to me open up my world and force me to unearth reservoirs of physical and mental strength I didn't know I had.

MilitiARGH

What type of people visit this site?
People who are, feel like addicts and who feel they need help or otherwise feel a need to be in contact with other people who are abstaining.

So no-one who's actually mentally strong enough to kick a habit, and exercise it in moderation is going to come back here.

That's why you see no-one coming back and writing about the wonders of "I just went to a mediocre restaurant and had a steak with onions and grilled peppers. Service was sublime, but the seating was uncomfortable"

"oh and I had a beer and it was no big deal, I'm at work and going to the gym tomorrow"



see you tomorrow, need my sleep now.

suki44883

Considering all that you have posted, MilitiARGH, why, exactly are you here? This is a forum for people who want to stop drinking and live a sober life, and all that it entails.

I don't mean to sound rude, but you seem to believe that you are different than the rest of us who have been where you are. If you are so different, then really...why are you on a sober recovery forum?