vendetta

I was struck with amazement the last few days. It was hard but I finally decided that a rehab facility may be my best bet. So I call and try to talk to some girl who obviously doesn't care. Then when trying to talk about in patient vs outpatient I am told they Can't take me cause I am less then 10 minutes away from a neighborin state. So I get transfered. Then I am told that they are to busy and they will try to call me back. To hell with it.

ChancesAh

That's alcoholism talking. They don't need to care but you have to even when you're down. Nothing worth doing is easy and I've personally ended up on anti depressants to get past my 'to hell with it' attitude. This is your fight for your life. You don't know the people on the other end of that phone line so don't let their opinions and altitude rule the outcome of your choices and life. You, like all of us deserve better.

ScottFromWI

Everyone has rules they need to follow...don't take it personally. Keep trying...help is out there.

Ruby2

Ditto what both posts said. Don't get discouraged. Keep plugging away. Keep momentum going. Really, it is a crisis to us, not to them. I've found that I conformed to the alcoholic "I want what I want and I want it now!!!". Just keep calling.

esinger

That's funny when started contacting rehabs trying to find one in a distant state, near relatives that would take my insurance, they wouldn't stop calling me. I was still getting calls a year after I finished rehab from ones that I had previously contacted fishing to see if they could get my business. Maybe it was because at the time I had good insurance.
If this is what you want, keep trying different facilities. There's many out there. Just do your research and find the right one.
Good Luck

wpainterw

Yes, "Iligitimis non carborundum" ("Don't let the bastards grind you down"). How bad do you want sobriety? If you want it bad enough you'll get it. If you work at it. Don't let anything or anyone stop you. Never surrender!

W.

sugarbear1

The rehabs near me are often full and require daily phone calls until a bed is open. Time for you to keep trying

love and hugs to you

Dee74

I definitely would keep trying. The response you're getting is a business like one - there's nothing personal.

You can use this database to perhaps find more facilities?

https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/Tre...ickSearch.jspx

Nonsensical

From what you posted it seems you gave up after one phone call and then blamed THE WORLD for your problem. Does the addict living in your head let you comprehend how ridiculous that is?

I've been fully under the thumb of my addiction before. It's a horrible place to be. I didn't realize just how horrible until I escaped. I didn't know I was a slave until I was free.

Make another call.

FreeOwl

Keep at it.

It's your life at stake, not 'theirs'

Get the help you need and you'll find the life you want.

Weaver

Try and calling another place... Then another and another.

vendetta

You are all right it is the alcoholis talking. I guess I took it so personally because it was like the ultimate admission in my mind and was a extremely hard call to make. Even giving out my name was like taboo.

Anna

I hope you keep trying to find a place that will take you.

2muchpain

You took it personally because it is personal. Very personal. Sure, the person at the other end of the phone was just doing her job and it's nothing personal from her point of view.
You should try to be proud of yourself for putting yourself out there and taking a chance. Unfortunately, we have no control over others' decisions. Try focusing more on the courage it took for you to take a chance, than on an outcome you couldn't do anything about. You know you did the right thing. The important thing now is to keep doing what your doing and keep fighting the good fight. Keep making calls, keep pushing forward. Remember, it's your life your trying to save. John

vendetta

Im done. I tried and I failed. I try and try and fail and fail. I just don't have what it takes. I know what it takes but I can't do it.

Im done trying. The stress to keep fighting is just to much.

I don't want any support from you all. Although you have all been great. I will just slip silently into the night. I have no effort left.

Thank You

Soberpotamus

You do have what it takes. All it takes is another try. Giving up makes no sense when the only real difference in what is perceived as a "failure" or a "success" is that the person we deem successful kept on trying. Sometimes, countless tries.

Take a break, but don't stop trying.

CaseyW

I hope you wake up tomorrow morning with a change of mind. One of the nice things about this website it's here 365 days a year, 24 hours a day. Praying for you tonight.

ScottFromWI

You wouldn't be here telling us this if you were truly done. Everyone has what it takes, your addiction is just feeding you some BS as it would love to keep you drinking. Dust yourself off and give it another go.

Berrybean

I'll be praying for you today Vendetta. Praying you will block out that AV just long enough to find the strength and sanity to stay sober today and to break this cycle.

Don't give up again. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. That is exactly what you should be doing. Just try to remember that the professionals on the end of the phone can't just bend / break rules for you (you want them to get the sack? be unprofessional?) or act like you're a friend. They're not. This is their job. They speak to hundreds of people a week. Maintaining their professional distance is how they can do their job without burning themselves out or having nervous breakdowns.

Maybe re-read your old threads and see of you can spot patterns that repeat. This could help you recognise your AV more easily. You could start here... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...f-created.html

Please remember, you deserve a happy and sober life. But you need to reach out and grab it.

If you feel that you would like a more caring environment, I would suggest getting down to some AA meetings. Everyone in the room (of a Closed meeting) will relate to how you feel, and can offer empathy and compassion as they are non-professional and are therefore free to interact on a more personal basis. I know that arriving at my home group now feels like stepping into a warm bath. There is so much love in that room I often feel quite choked up. I really do hope you find what you need. (This may well be different to what you think you need).

Take care x

vendetta

AA meetings scare the **** out of me. But I think the personal experience would probably help. Right now I'm a working hermit. I'm not getting any older and something has to give.

Last night I would never have thought I would still be posting here. I'm just soooooooooo tired. Drinking is exhausting.