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Old 05-07-2015, 05:20 AM
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Day #2

I realized I was an alcoholic on Tuesday. Yesterday I joined SR, and spent a good part of the day reading about the experiences of others with our problem. It was both comforting to hear from others about how they are facing the same struggles I have, and stunning at the same time to hear about how far down I could go if I start drinking again.

It's one thing to know somehow that an alcoholic might have all kinds of problems, but to read about seizures and dark red pee and being fired because they couldn't stop drinking at work, over and over, from the people that were living it, was quite an awakening.

In the past, even when I was finishing my bottle of tequila with my morning orange juice, I still thought of drinking as wine on the deck or beers at the game. I hope that lie is gone forever from my perception of the world.

It's like I got on the plane, fully aware of the certainty that it would crash, and yet I still thought of it just as an entertaining plane ride. As I look around today at the other survivors in our wreckage, I feel like it might not have taken much longer before I could be posting about my own seizures.

So, thanks for sharing, everyone. Thanks for the support. We can beat this thing.
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Old 05-07-2015, 05:33 AM
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Hi Ten,

Wow you've done well so far having a realisation, finding SR and taking stock of where you are, all in a couple of days!
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Old 05-07-2015, 05:36 AM
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Hi and welcome.
This journey toward recovery is bumpy at times but certainly sustainable if we are in touch with our AV and control it properly. After a couple week there are some bumps but mostly of the manageable size if we are prepared for them.
Getting sober and into recovery are separate, recovery is long term and requires work and changing our ways of dealing with life as life is, not the way we want it.
It’s a great experience and I would not trade it because of the benefits received because of it.

BE WELL
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Old 05-07-2015, 05:43 AM
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Thanks for the support. I can use it.

I've seen the acronym "AV" a number of times on SR. What is AV?
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Old 05-07-2015, 06:13 AM
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AV is addictive voice the voice thats says its only 1 etc

Congrats on day 2 by recognising your AV you can reach out and surround yourself with sober positive thoughts & actions
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Old 05-07-2015, 06:16 AM
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Thanks, Wolf. Yes, I know him well, I just didn't know his name. He's a clever bastard.
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Old 05-07-2015, 06:20 AM
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Congrats on day 2 TenTx....things only get better from here on out. Are you using any sort of a formal sobriety plan or just SR at this point?
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Old 05-07-2015, 06:25 AM
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I have named my AV - Asinine Venomous
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Old 05-07-2015, 06:31 AM
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Thanks, Scott. So far just SR.

It's not like Tuesday was the first time I realized I had a problem. I've been a social drinker for 40 years, and I've been seriously trying to control my drinking for about 8 months. It was Tuesday I realized I couldn't control it and had to quit altogether.

So far, it has been somewhat of a relief. I don't have to plan or calculate how much or when, I just don't do it at all.

But it's only day #2. I was a binge drinker, not an everyday one, so I haven't really been tested yet.
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Old 05-07-2015, 06:31 AM
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I am almost two months sober. I was drinking vodka. I would start as soon as I got up and continue until I went to bed. I lost at least four people in the past two years to alcoholism. An ex husband who died at the age of 49. Someone I didn't even know was an alcoholic who isolated himself, like me. He was dead for two weeks in his apartment before the smell called attention to him. Two others took their own lives. Admission is the first step. Bravo for admitting this. It is not easy. I have tried and failed before. I go to AA when I can. I am a fulltime caregiver of my parents so I am at home in my old room a lot. That is one reason I am here. Keeping your mind busy is key. I am no expert for sure. All I can advise is keep talking to others like yourself. This is a daily thing.
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Old 05-07-2015, 02:48 PM
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Welcome to SR free2beme52

Keep it going TenTx

D
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Old 05-07-2015, 02:51 PM
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Welcome aboard TENtx!
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Old 05-07-2015, 02:52 PM
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Welcome to SR, Tentx; glad you found us. Well done on two sober days.

Realizing that moderation doesn't work for you is a huge step.
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