Day #2
I realized I was an alcoholic on Tuesday. Yesterday I joined SR, and spent a good part of the day reading about the experiences of others with our problem. It was both comforting to hear from others about how they are facing the same struggles I have, and stunning at the same time to hear about how far down I could go if I start drinking again.
It's one thing to know somehow that an alcoholic might have all kinds of problems, but to read about seizures and dark red pee and being fired because they couldn't stop drinking at work, over and over, from the people that were living it, was quite an awakening.
In the past, even when I was finishing my bottle of tequila with my morning orange juice, I still thought of drinking as wine on the deck or beers at the game. I hope that lie is gone forever from my perception of the world.
It's like I got on the plane, fully aware of the certainty that it would crash, and yet I still thought of it just as an entertaining plane ride. As I look around today at the other survivors in our wreckage, I feel like it might not have taken much longer before I could be posting about my own seizures.
So, thanks for sharing, everyone. Thanks for the support. We can beat this thing.