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Feeling betrayed (aa)

Old 04-21-2015, 03:28 PM
  # 61 (permalink)  
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Well paintballguy, you seem to feel that since there is a religious side to AA, that it isn't for you, and that's fine. But as I said earlier, if you keep fixated on this aspect of AA, you never see the benefits of AA in general. I remember some time ago being so upset over the god thing, that I sat in a meeting and just counted the number of times the word god was brought up. Obviously, I got nothing out of the meeting because all I could hear was the word god. I had to get past the anger I had about that word to really see what AA could offer me. It's really hard to do, but if you stick with it long enough, you'll see what I mean.
Also, I have heard stories from some people at the meetings that were also forced to attend AA through the courts. Some actually did stay, and others left, but came back later so it does work for some.
Either way, I hope you come up with a plan that works for you. Congrats on 14 days!!!! John
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Old 04-21-2015, 03:55 PM
  # 62 (permalink)  
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When I say your headline: Feeling Betrayed I thought it was from a newcomer Friend and Family member. That's the way it feels when our loved ones break yet another promise and get drunk again or act out badly while under the influence.


This dishonesty almost led me to break 13 days of sobriety
If you are serious about remaining abstinent, nothing will "lead you" to drink. If you are looking for excuses to drink, anything can be an excuse.

Being angry at AA is not going to keep you sober and is not going to accomplish anything. Check out SMART or other programs instead and try to put all the energy you are putting into getting angry into your recovery instead.
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Old 04-21-2015, 03:56 PM
  # 63 (permalink)  
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Ok I read your experience and here is mine. I got to the end of my tether and so had my family. Woke up on Sunday morning still drunk, with the fear, of what had happened and a horrible cloud over me. Decided to go to AA on the Monday which I did. Got a warm welcome, phone numbers and found it interesting and I related to the sharer. Someone gave me the big book and his phone number. Another guy made a bee line and chatted, even though I was busy talking to someone, we swapped numbers , chattted, and got on well. Ditto the next 3 weeks, he lives nearby and picked me up as I was taking the bus which was nice. After in the car we always chatted for ages , getting on well and saying let's have a coffee etc. I told him after last meeting the 12 steps, higher power, prayer thing isn't for me and i will never sit at the table and share or chair or do the prayer (hey, a poem) but I may attend from time to time and I appreciated his support and the bravery of the folk that do share and help others.I have my own spiritual side and if I need the higher power that is personal and explained that to him which he said "you willl be back and I guarantee you will do the 12 steps, many have said same and have returned" which I thought was weird. Talked for an hour about our lives and parted. A week later I text him asking how he was and if he was at meeting but no reply. Still none. My opinion is we are communal animals, we need validation. He found his path which worked and is insecure that others aren't in the gang. This wasn't the first negative experience I had from AA as the few meetings I attended there was another in the same vein. Folk need to know many recover their own way, the togetherness you feel from a certain communal spirit is for you and them and should be celebrated but it feltl cultish and controlling. Frankly I went there vulnerable and was shown some understanding and compassion which was overwhelming then felt rubbish cos I would not and could not follow suit which greatly disappointed me.
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Old 04-21-2015, 04:03 PM
  # 64 (permalink)  
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OK, I think this thread has run its course.

Anna and I have tried hard to keep this open and give everyone their say - but it's becoming a 'my vent with AA' thread and that's not appropriate for this forum under the rules posted above.

Thread closed.

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