EndGameNYC

For many of us, it's easier to walk away from help and support than it is to accept it. For some of us, it's even easier to walk away when we don't get the kind of support we want, or when we don't get support in exactly the way we want it.

The turning point for me was working through my resistance to help, no matter what form it took. In my first year back following my relapse, I did inpatient detox, 28-day rehab, one-on-one counseling and AA. I didn't always like what I heard, and I consented to do many things that I'd have preferred not to do, but my decision to stop killing myself with booze trumped any discomfort I may have experienced among all the resources I used to help me to achieve sobriety.

There are so many good people here that it is at times difficult to imagine that the rest of the world is not quite the same.

Soberwolf

No need to apoligise & nobody is criticising

if something goes awry with our recovery we need to acknowledge and fix it surely

Thats positive advice there is no criticism i am 21 months sober because of positive advice & positive action

Hope you stick around

Marcus

Good on you for coming on here and posting about it. I remember years ago when I would have to keep track of 2 sobriety dates. The one I told everyone and the real one. Obviously that didn't last very long as the real one kept moving and I made a mess of things. Honesty is so important. First to yourself, but also helps to share what is going on and keep yourself accountable.

I remember your post about fear the other day. I definitely related to fear keeping me sober, but fear got me drunk or high plenty of times too. I struggle with anxiety and when you are in the middle of it fear sets in and you want to escape it at all costs. Another thing that creates fear in me is projecting about the future. What is going to happen / what is not going to happen / what I want to happen. I think that is normal, but anxiety sufferers seem a little more prone to that kind of thinking.

Anyway what is done is done of course. Dust yourself off and refocus yourself. Today is a good day!

CuriousCatfish

I was referring to the critical self rather than others. I'm trying to be less SELF critical. :-)

Pouncer

Catfish, I am guilty, guilty, guilty of taking things said too much to heart. I left for a couple of days because I felt like sh*t when my April Fools joke here wasn't appreciated by everyone. I felt guilty, unwanted, etc. I thought I was leaving for good. I got really uneasy those couple of days without the 24/7 support I need in early recovery. Please don't take it too much to heart.

FWIW, I agree with you 100% about the correlation between guilt/shame and continual relapses - and so do many scientists. I do a recovery program called SMART and the main aspect of it is to work from the inside out: self-acceptance, not punishing yourself for slips/relapses, looking inward, tackling procrastination and working on changing emotive responses. Forgiving yourself for relapses is a cornerstone of SMART.

It is completely different from 12-step programs which is used by the majority of people at SR. I take their loving, insightful and honest responses and reframe them to work for me. I have gotten a thicker skin since I have been here.

Please stay. Your posts were insightful and reassuring for me.

anattaboy

Hey, I thought the micro-brew AF's post was funny. As for my slip, I'm a bit surprised some of you are still carrying that woman. I put her down 3 days ago. (Tathagatian humor)

Soberwolf

Im glad your here Pouncer Atta & Catfish

I 2nd what Marcus said about respecting Atta's honesty (i already posted about that)

Im leaving it there have a nice day everyone

CuriousCatfish

That's really kind, Pouncer. Thank you. The 12 steps categorically didn't work for me unfortunately, which may be why I'd be better off somewhere a bit... calmer! Thanks for the tip. I will look up SMART. :-)

soberlicious

Lol anattaboy...love the humor! I say it all the time "I put her down days ago" ppl are like "wut?"