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I drank yesterday

Old 04-17-2015, 04:53 AM
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I drank yesterday

Yup, a pint and then a half pint of vodka. Knew I was wrong doing it but also knew I was gonna do it if that makes sense. Was angry, said some nasty things to everyone. 10+ months continuous gone. I don't want any today and that is a plus as I usually drink the next day and so on...I was drunk when I posted of fear keeping me sober yesterday. I guess it didn't. That's it. I will stew a while but some changes need to be made to my plan--Namely I need to be working. I've been stay-at-home-Dad to our now 4 yr. old and it's just time for me to go to work and put her in pre-school. Lots of anxiety there as I haven't really worked in a while. Anyhoo, this is my accountability post.
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Old 04-17-2015, 04:56 AM
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I'm sorry to read that anattaboy but I'm glad you're back.

I nearly posted in your fear thread but I didn't want to break your stride....

The fact is fear never kept me sober for long. Fears good for getting you sober but I really think change is the key to lasting recovery.

D
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Old 04-17-2015, 05:02 AM
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I'm glad to see you back Anattaboy. I hope this experience helps you grow better and stronger in your recovery.
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Old 04-17-2015, 05:04 AM
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Hi and welcome back.

After the fact, some of the most important words I finally followed were “KEEP COMING.” With practicing that I learned many things from the old timers. One was we are not bad people we just make bad decisions at times, I needed to learn how not to make them.
Then one day I heard someone say “if we don’t pick up that first drink we won’t have to TRY to get sober AGAIN.” Practicing that I started to understand many other things I heard.

BE WELL
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Old 04-17-2015, 05:07 AM
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Thankyou for your honesty. A lot of people relapse but the thing is we all learn something from it. And all you learnt before this is not wasted. Glad your back xxx
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Old 04-17-2015, 05:09 AM
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Sorry to hear this but glad you are getting back on track.
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Old 04-17-2015, 05:18 AM
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Hola Anattaboy:

Time to tweak your plan. Not much to say, just want to tell you that I really like your input always, I really appreciate you.

Learn from this! You can do it!!!

We are with you.
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Old 04-17-2015, 05:19 AM
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Originally Posted by anattaboy View Post

I was gonna do it if that makes sense.

said some nasty things to everyone.
You remind me of me.

Oh yes, how I remember, once I had made the decision that a drink might be an ok thing to do, I was drinking again in short time.

Your meanness towards others due to your relapse should be a big warning sign for you.

For the true alcoholic, once drinking again, these sad events are repeated over and over again unless one sobers up and stays sober.

Good luck with your return to sobriety.

Mountainman
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Old 04-17-2015, 05:19 AM
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Sorry you drank yesterday, Attaboy!
But it is GREAT that you are back today.....STAY here, and away from that nasty liquor store!
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Old 04-17-2015, 05:24 AM
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I am glad you posted, it makes me continue to realize just how hard this is. I think you will be back on track in no time.
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Old 04-17-2015, 05:28 AM
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Welcome bk
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Old 04-17-2015, 05:49 AM
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Honesty is a huge step in the right direction and I believe your sober time is not wasted time.

For me will power alone was never enough. I had to reach out for support and be willing to embrace a lot more change than just not drinking.

Welcome back and make today a sober day
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Old 04-17-2015, 06:09 AM
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That 10 months is not gone. It will always be there to remind you to surpass it! I have total faith in you! And think of the good 10 mos. you gave your child.
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Old 04-17-2015, 06:09 AM
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Yup, the anger thing is something I need to address. Most of it is with myself. I feel I've gotten an honest look at where I'm at in life and not liking it at all. I'm the one that needs to adapt and having a hard time doing it. I blew a gasket 4.5 yrs ago that put me in prison 3 yrs. It was a relapse after 16 months. Can't go there anymore. Wife is way tired. She threw a lot of truth on me this morning and it stung but it's true.
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Old 04-17-2015, 06:14 AM
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Glad you caught it before things got even worse. I kind of sensed something was up with your posts the last few days too, i truly hope you can adapt as you say and find a new plan for sobriety and living. It's not easy to be certain, but you are capable of doing it.
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Old 04-17-2015, 06:22 AM
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Hey anattaboy, sorry you relapsed mate, maybe time to seek outside help, doctors, aa, smart etc. ive tried the fear route and its not worked for me either. At least if you only have a 1 day relapse not to much damage will be done, I remember reading you were pretty sick towards the end last time. Good luck over the next few days and lean heavily on SR if you need too.
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Old 04-17-2015, 06:32 AM
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Originally Posted by anattaboy View Post
Yup, a pint and then a half pint of vodka. Knew I was wrong doing it but also knew I was gonna do it if that makes sense. Was angry, said some nasty things to everyone. 10+ months continuous gone. I don't want any today and that is a plus as I usually drink the next day and so on...I was drunk when I posted of fear keeping me sober yesterday. I guess it didn't. That's it. I will stew a while but some changes need to be made to my plan--Namely I need to be working. I've been stay-at-home-Dad to our now 4 yr. old and it's just time for me to go to work and put her in pre-school. Lots of anxiety there as I haven't really worked in a while. Anyhoo, this is my accountability post.
So where's the other 1/2 pint today!?? Tossed, we hope.
Was this strictly a one day deal or was there a binge for a period of time?

Hope you'll get back on track today.......
I am curious as you've relapsed before. Did you see this coming over a period of time prior to drinking or was it more immediate impulse?

Thought if you delved into this a bit it might help others = me included

Glad your posting......
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Old 04-17-2015, 07:07 AM
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When I saw the title of your post, I thought you were gonna make a joke or something. Sorry about the relapse. You mentioned fear and anger as the culprits. Under all anger is fear, and under all fear is fear of loss. I hope as part of your sobriety toolbox that you can address these issues and find some resolution. Booze makes it worse as you know.
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Old 04-17-2015, 07:33 AM
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Originally Posted by ArtFriend View Post
When I saw the title of your post, I thought you were gonna make a joke or something. Sorry about the relapse. You mentioned fear and anger as the culprits. Under all anger is fear, and under all fear is fear of loss. I hope as part of your sobriety toolbox that you can address these issues and find some resolution. Booze makes it worse as you know.
These words are so true.

Sending you and your family support and peaceful thoughts. xo
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Old 04-17-2015, 07:42 AM
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Attaboy, I would say 'welcome back,' but you never left us. I am also 'back' from a one-day relapse. I still feel cruddy but I am trying to go easy on myself. I hope you do the same.
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