bartacomus
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 369
That's suprising to me. I'm an alcoholic and even when I did drugs I never touched opiats. Don't think I even spelled it right. So I have no personal experience but I've heard many people on here praise the drug and read articles about how much better it it than methadone. Are you on too much? Adjust the dose maybe. I've never heard a horror story about it like yours before. Sorry it's not working for you.
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I stopped cold turkey, on the 20th I believe.. I have been telling people I have 11 days, at this point I couldn't be bothered to calculate this.
+ladywind I must admit.. its been a tough 24 hours, it was much better yesterday, I actually had moments, of quasi-like relief.. but I have been up and down for hours now, a lot of frustration, bone and muscle ache, and the dehydration ive written about is probably the worst yet. hearts jumping out of the chest, and ive gone so long without adequate sleep now that I my mind is flashing random and unrelated things one after another when I don't have some sort of stimulus to focus my attention.
I don't have a strong belief in the divine, but your Prayers.. are much welcomed. that makes me feel better, literally.
+dave36 im an alcoholic too dave, I haven't drank in a few years now.. but I only substituted one crutch for anothern.
as for suboxone, it did "work" for me.. the same way dilaudid, or vicodin, or any other pain killer.
it has the capacity to regulate someones intake, but its very strong without giving the impression of that because its a selective site agonist.
the problem is that all the press is only the good press, but we are a few years into wide spread distribution.. and the reality of the medicine is finally being brought to light by.. unfortunantly.. the users. ive been associated with it since it was gaining momentum years ago.
Ive taken methadone as well, and though the withdrawal syndrome was more "bright" and hard edged.. length of illness was not.
Thanks for the sorry chief.. hopefully now im working for myself, instead of a drug working for me.
(edit: 'praise the drug'.. there are sooo many facets to that)
+ladywind I must admit.. its been a tough 24 hours, it was much better yesterday, I actually had moments, of quasi-like relief.. but I have been up and down for hours now, a lot of frustration, bone and muscle ache, and the dehydration ive written about is probably the worst yet. hearts jumping out of the chest, and ive gone so long without adequate sleep now that I my mind is flashing random and unrelated things one after another when I don't have some sort of stimulus to focus my attention.
I don't have a strong belief in the divine, but your Prayers.. are much welcomed. that makes me feel better, literally.
+dave36 im an alcoholic too dave, I haven't drank in a few years now.. but I only substituted one crutch for anothern.
as for suboxone, it did "work" for me.. the same way dilaudid, or vicodin, or any other pain killer.
it has the capacity to regulate someones intake, but its very strong without giving the impression of that because its a selective site agonist.
the problem is that all the press is only the good press, but we are a few years into wide spread distribution.. and the reality of the medicine is finally being brought to light by.. unfortunantly.. the users. ive been associated with it since it was gaining momentum years ago.
Ive taken methadone as well, and though the withdrawal syndrome was more "bright" and hard edged.. length of illness was not.
Thanks for the sorry chief.. hopefully now im working for myself, instead of a drug working for me.
(edit: 'praise the drug'.. there are sooo many facets to that)
Last edited by Bartacomus; 03-02-2015 at 04:59 AM. Reason: thought this funny
this makes me very sad and worried.Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
I know nothing about this stuff. He was on methadone years ago. The relapsed for years on fentanyl and heroin and assorted other such stuff - now he is on this crap prescribed by a psychiatrist.
Thank you for sharing this.
I hope you feel better.
Thank you for sharing this.
I hope you feel better.
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Posts: 45
Ladywind.. sleep is one of the serious problems. I took some ambien yesterday, more than I would care to admit, I expected for it to be a bit heavy-handed, but it just didn't happen that way. I did get about 2 straight hours from it, but what I had to take for a minor 2 hours was obscene, and possibly borderline dangerous in the state I am in.. without proper evaluation by a physician.
I have to admit that today, I feel pretty hopeless.. that point, or "moment of clarity" where someone says "I need help", "I cant do this alone". Im afraid of being placed back on it to taper down.. im so sick, and blinded by addiction.. I have no clue if im making excuses not to seek help, or if its a truly legitimate reason to avoid these pill pushing hack-saw artists.
thanks for your time. it helps to read and write about it.
I have to admit that today, I feel pretty hopeless.. that point, or "moment of clarity" where someone says "I need help", "I cant do this alone". Im afraid of being placed back on it to taper down.. im so sick, and blinded by addiction.. I have no clue if im making excuses not to seek help, or if its a truly legitimate reason to avoid these pill pushing hack-saw artists.
thanks for your time. it helps to read and write about it.
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Hey Jupiter, I do want to point out that im not a professional, but I do feel strongly urged to educate the other side of the equation.. theres plenty of good press about suboxone, but ive found a great deal speaking against it as well.
Its easy to substitute one drug for another, expecially one so seemingly innocuous. Addiction is a disease of the mind first and foremost though.. someone like myself, and maybe a lot of other addicts.. the drug isn't geared for me. I mean, im an addict.. I started suboxone.. because I abused the methadone, that I was taking because I was abusing pain-killers, that I took because id had long bouts with illicit opiates and sought out easier legal alternatives.. etc etc.
In hindsight, Ive successively switched to a pain killer that is harder to get off each time.
I am not fear mongering, Please do not take my rant as such.. I am indeed sick and a little spacey. But I want to educate, even if im the 1 in 10, people seem to get very defensive about their Suboxone.. its just a personal preference, I bite my tongue when its considered being "clean" while taking something equivalent to 30mg MsContin.
Its certainly better than Fentanyl no doubt, and smack.. but not an answer by any means, unless you plan to stay on it for the foreseeable future. A doctor with the true desire to step you down, someone outside help or at least being surrounded by people in recovery.. and lastly a desire to quit.
thanks for posting.. I wish the best to your brother and you.
Its easy to substitute one drug for another, expecially one so seemingly innocuous. Addiction is a disease of the mind first and foremost though.. someone like myself, and maybe a lot of other addicts.. the drug isn't geared for me. I mean, im an addict.. I started suboxone.. because I abused the methadone, that I was taking because I was abusing pain-killers, that I took because id had long bouts with illicit opiates and sought out easier legal alternatives.. etc etc.
In hindsight, Ive successively switched to a pain killer that is harder to get off each time.
I am not fear mongering, Please do not take my rant as such.. I am indeed sick and a little spacey. But I want to educate, even if im the 1 in 10, people seem to get very defensive about their Suboxone.. its just a personal preference, I bite my tongue when its considered being "clean" while taking something equivalent to 30mg MsContin.
Its certainly better than Fentanyl no doubt, and smack.. but not an answer by any means, unless you plan to stay on it for the foreseeable future. A doctor with the true desire to step you down, someone outside help or at least being surrounded by people in recovery.. and lastly a desire to quit.
thanks for posting.. I wish the best to your brother and you.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 369
Originally Posted by Bartacomus 
Ladywind.. sleep is one of the serious problems. I took some ambien yesterday, more than I would care to admit, I expected for it to be a bit heavy-handed, but it just didn't happen that way. I did get about 2 straight hours from it, but what I had to take for a minor 2 hours was obscene, and possibly borderline dangerous in the state I am in.. without proper evaluation by a physician.
I have to admit that today, I feel pretty hopeless.. that point, or "moment of clarity" where someone says "I need help", "I cant do this alone". Im afraid of being placed back on it to taper down.. im so sick, and blinded by addiction.. I have no clue if im making excuses not to seek help, or if its a truly legitimate reason to avoid these pill pushing hack-saw artists.
thanks for your time. it helps to read and write about it.
I have to admit that today, I feel pretty hopeless.. that point, or "moment of clarity" where someone says "I need help", "I cant do this alone". Im afraid of being placed back on it to taper down.. im so sick, and blinded by addiction.. I have no clue if im making excuses not to seek help, or if its a truly legitimate reason to avoid these pill pushing hack-saw artists.
thanks for your time. it helps to read and write about it.
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Houston Texas
Posts: 45
Hey Ladywind,
I found a place here in town, that will supposedly take people without any insurance. Its an outpatient detox program though.. which means Id be put back on the exact same medicine.
Its going to require me to visit everyday, have a sit down with a counselor, submit drug-tests and do some "classwork". They dispense the medications there, so there is no monkeying around with the dosage. 2 week maximum.
So I have a hard decision to make. I would really appreciate your opinion, and anyone else who might be watching this thread. To either go back on the substance in order to slowly taper down over 2 weeks, or to stay my course and take advantage of the time I already have under my belt.
2 weeks is pretty aggressive. The only 2 people Ive met that got off suboxone by tapering.. were 2 woman who tapered down over a years time, and received other prescriptions to aid them.
Im trying hard not to over analyze everything and relax, but my mind is racing.. its a little like a TV set in my head that I cant turn off, and someone is changing the channels real fast.. its nonsensical and unrelated. When I try to lay down or relax with no distraction, no noise or light.. it becomes very "loud". That's not much for a frame of reference.
In this light, taking time to read and write is a very welcome distraction. Mucho Gratitudo.
I found a place here in town, that will supposedly take people without any insurance. Its an outpatient detox program though.. which means Id be put back on the exact same medicine.
Its going to require me to visit everyday, have a sit down with a counselor, submit drug-tests and do some "classwork". They dispense the medications there, so there is no monkeying around with the dosage. 2 week maximum.
So I have a hard decision to make. I would really appreciate your opinion, and anyone else who might be watching this thread. To either go back on the substance in order to slowly taper down over 2 weeks, or to stay my course and take advantage of the time I already have under my belt.
2 weeks is pretty aggressive. The only 2 people Ive met that got off suboxone by tapering.. were 2 woman who tapered down over a years time, and received other prescriptions to aid them.
Im trying hard not to over analyze everything and relax, but my mind is racing.. its a little like a TV set in my head that I cant turn off, and someone is changing the channels real fast.. its nonsensical and unrelated. When I try to lay down or relax with no distraction, no noise or light.. it becomes very "loud". That's not much for a frame of reference.
In this light, taking time to read and write is a very welcome distraction. Mucho Gratitudo.
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 61
Originally Posted by Bartacomus
Hey Ladywind,
I found a place here in town, that will supposedly take people without any insurance. Its an outpatient detox program though.. which means Id be put back on the exact same medicine.
Its going to require me to visit everyday, have a sit down with a counselor, submit drug-tests and do some "classwork". They dispense the medications there, so there is no monkeying around with the dosage. 2 week maximum.
So I have a hard decision to make. I would really appreciate your opinion, and anyone else who might be watching this thread. To either go back on the substance in order to slowly taper down over 2 weeks, or to stay my course and take advantage of the time I already have under my belt.
2 weeks is pretty aggressive. The only 2 people Ive met that got off suboxone by tapering.. were 2 woman who tapered down over a years time, and received other prescriptions to aid them.
Im trying hard not to over analyze everything and relax, but my mind is racing.. its a little like a TV set in my head that I cant turn off, and someone is changing the channels real fast.. its nonsensical and unrelated. When I try to lay down or relax with no distraction, no noise or light.. it becomes very "loud". That's not much for a frame of reference.
In this light, taking time to read and write is a very welcome distraction. Mucho Gratitudo.
I found a place here in town, that will supposedly take people without any insurance. Its an outpatient detox program though.. which means Id be put back on the exact same medicine.
Its going to require me to visit everyday, have a sit down with a counselor, submit drug-tests and do some "classwork". They dispense the medications there, so there is no monkeying around with the dosage. 2 week maximum.
So I have a hard decision to make. I would really appreciate your opinion, and anyone else who might be watching this thread. To either go back on the substance in order to slowly taper down over 2 weeks, or to stay my course and take advantage of the time I already have under my belt.
2 weeks is pretty aggressive. The only 2 people Ive met that got off suboxone by tapering.. were 2 woman who tapered down over a years time, and received other prescriptions to aid them.
Im trying hard not to over analyze everything and relax, but my mind is racing.. its a little like a TV set in my head that I cant turn off, and someone is changing the channels real fast.. its nonsensical and unrelated. When I try to lay down or relax with no distraction, no noise or light.. it becomes very "loud". That's not much for a frame of reference.
In this light, taking time to read and write is a very welcome distraction. Mucho Gratitudo.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
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Originally Posted by Bartacomus
So I have a hard decision to make. I would really appreciate your opinion, and anyone else who might be watching this thread. To either go back on the substance in order to slowly taper down over 2 weeks, or to stay my course and take advantage of the time I already have under my belt.
You have no idea what your body and mind are heading into, right? Take care of yourself. Allow yourself to be supported 24/7 as needed. Geez, the "loud" in the head alone would drive me nuts. Plus, with support you can give yourself the best shot at moving forward past this addiction.
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Posts: 45
You guys are awesome. Its a little overwhelming, Im not accustomed to talking about these issues.. Its a unique experience. You know its been such a long time, since I made any decision not under the influence that I feel completely awkward. You guys have been so generous with your time.
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I don't know much about that drug but my off the cuff reaction is that medically supervised tapering is better than winging it alone. It's not the same thing but I quit drinking cold turkey after 25 years of drinking like a fish; at the time I didn't realize it could kill me to do that but I also didn't care, I was gonna stop drinking or die trying.
BTW, love the avatar!
BTW, love the avatar!
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Myth, thats similar to my motivations. I had a moment of clarity.. maybe a better description would be moment of disgust. Followed by rash action that has not put me in best position to succeed.
(My avatar is pretty debonaire, dont ya think? If you dont already follow him, his name is Tuna, of Tuna Melts My Heart. There are a ton of awesome photos of him.)
(My avatar is pretty debonaire, dont ya think? If you dont already follow him, his name is Tuna, of Tuna Melts My Heart. There are a ton of awesome photos of him.)
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I wonder if that "moment of clarity" is the point where all of us stop? It can come to a person while they're laying in a jail cell after a DUI or in the morning after a big bender. Sometimes it's not so much one moment but the combined weight of moments building up until one can't ignore the obvious. For me it was kind of the latter.
I'm gonna go search for "Tuna Melts My Heart" now!
I'm gonna go search for "Tuna Melts My Heart" now!
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Join Date: Feb 2014
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Bart - I would do a lot of hard thinking before making the decision to go back for a 'taper'. Almost every time that I gave up on a detox it was because it was overwhelming and I promised myself I would go back and taper off of it. The tapering never worked for me, and it was really just a justification to give up on the detox. If you go back now the past 11 days are going to be flushed down the toilet. There are a lot of folks that kicks subs and made it through to the other side. It sucks BAD from what I hear, but I must admit that you are the first person I have heard say that it is worse than methadone.
Even with the longer, drawn out withdrawal you have 11 days clean man. If you are at your breaking point then it is what it is, but don't let your AV trick you on this. If you stop and then go to a doctor for a taper it is because you are giving up on the detox. I think you need to be honest with yourself about that. During the times I used suboxone for short-term use to detox off of H it would last a long time as the sub ran out of my system. I think around day 10-12 it was close to the peak or just starting to get better. It did get better pretty quickly thereafter though. I am not sure if that is at all comparable to long-term sub use, but that is my experience.
It is absolutely true that going to a doctor and doing a medically supervised detox would be the best scenario, but that decision point was 11 days ago. There are lot's of other folks I have heard about that said that even on the tapered down dose it sucked coming off of the subs. I would just REALLY hate to see you on here a couple months from now saying that you got down to 1mg or 0.5mg and that it is still a really bad withdrawal. Definitely take the time to read up on the folks that did successfully taper, but I have heard a lot say that it sucks no matter what.
I am going to be right behind you starting Wednesday. It is a tough process man, but it does get better. If you pull yourself up and keep going then you will never have to go through this again - ever.
Even with the longer, drawn out withdrawal you have 11 days clean man. If you are at your breaking point then it is what it is, but don't let your AV trick you on this. If you stop and then go to a doctor for a taper it is because you are giving up on the detox. I think you need to be honest with yourself about that. During the times I used suboxone for short-term use to detox off of H it would last a long time as the sub ran out of my system. I think around day 10-12 it was close to the peak or just starting to get better. It did get better pretty quickly thereafter though. I am not sure if that is at all comparable to long-term sub use, but that is my experience.
It is absolutely true that going to a doctor and doing a medically supervised detox would be the best scenario, but that decision point was 11 days ago. There are lot's of other folks I have heard about that said that even on the tapered down dose it sucked coming off of the subs. I would just REALLY hate to see you on here a couple months from now saying that you got down to 1mg or 0.5mg and that it is still a really bad withdrawal. Definitely take the time to read up on the folks that did successfully taper, but I have heard a lot say that it sucks no matter what.
I am going to be right behind you starting Wednesday. It is a tough process man, but it does get better. If you pull yourself up and keep going then you will never have to go through this again - ever.
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