JadedGirl

Came home from work tonight and went straight out to visit my friend who's little boy is in hospital. A cat ran straight out in front of me and I couldn't stop. I ran it over and killed it
I stopped and it was sort of jerking like it was still alive and it had blood coming from it's mouth. Was just horrible. I picked it up and put it on the pavement but it had died.
Found a tag with his name and address and it was just a few doors up so I had to knock and tell them. The woman was screaming and crying and I feel so guilty and awful and just keep seeing it. It just ran out though in front of me.
I just came straight home but keep crying every time I think of it. I just want a drink to block out the thought of it. I've eaten a **** load of crisps chocolate and biscuits (**** the diet) but I still just want a drink. Been struggling all week and tonight it's just so hard. I haven't given in but I just know how much better I'd feel if I could just have a bottle. I feel so angry that I can't be just like a normal person and have a drink when I need it and it's my fault for getting in this mess in the first place. If I hadn't got addicted I could be sat here now feeling myself relax instead of feeling like crap. Sorry just need to vent and don't know what to do. I'm reading, watching tv, drinking coffee and smoking but nothing gives the same feeling and nothing ever will

Anna

I'm so sorry JadedGirl. That's a terrible experience.

It's unbelievably sad when pet owners are irresponsible. Cats belong indoors.

SoberLeigh

Oh sweet, JadedGirl, doing something horrible implies and involves intent. It was an accident - very sad and horrible, yes, but an accident.

((((Jaded Girl)))). I am so sorry that this happened to you.

Please don't drink over it.

suki44883

I'm sorry that happened, JadedGirl. It has happened to me before and I was devastated. I agree that the cat's owner was irresponsible. Cats belong inside.

Please don't drink over this. (((HUGS)))

patricia68

Cats are unpredictable. You didn't do anything wrong.

maia1234

I am so sorry JG. You were kind enough to bring the cat home, you didn't leave it on the side of the road and drive away. You are a kind hearted person!! Accidents happen, that's why they are called accidents.
(((((((((hugs)))))))))))

JadedGirl

I'm not going to. I'm practically sitting on my hands and crying but not gonna give in. It's so hard though. Really really want just one bottle. X

Nowsthetime

Give yourself credit. It wasn't easy to go and "fess up". That shows me a lot about your character and you should be proud of yourself. It was horrible but it was an accident. You did the right thing. Without mattering how hard it was. Hugs for you.

PurpleKnight

Not feeling anything and being numb is not the same as feeling something, there will be no feeling of relief, it'll simply be not feeling anything at all, and that 1 drink is not going to stop at a 1 or a couple, it'll come with a splitting hangover tomorrow morning to add to the feelings caused by the accident this evening.

I'm very sorry for you having to go through that this evening, accidents happen though!!

Hang in there!!

SoberLeigh

I have hit several squirrels and felt dreadful, too. I even felt bad when I ran over a snake (and I don't particularly like snakes).

The others are right; the cat owner should have kept her cat inside.

This was not your fault; don't let this derail you.

Thepatman

Very bad experience. But like Anna said, the cat should had been inside in the house and it's not your fault.

Jack16

Very sorry to hear that. Horrible but not your fault, nothing you could have done.

Cry it out, and go easy on yourself. Breathe deep, and relax - have a bath or something.

Please don't have a drink. We've got around the same number of sober days. So let's both not drink, OK.

Sending you a hug.

Aellyce

Oh my, Jaded... I'm so sorry. I know I would feel horrible and guilty, too. But you did not really do it, it just happened. And you did good going and speaking with the cat's owner.

Please don't drink, it would just make you feel even more emotional, I think. Good that you posted. Maybe talk to someone if you feel that might help.

brighterlife

Jadedgirl, I live in the country. My beautiful cat got run over last year. She was so savvy, I still don't know how she found that one little road amongst all the trees and lakes. I have never blamed the person driving that car.
This is a test for you today...you can do this.

JadedGirl

Thankyou everyone I think I've just been struggling this week anyway, keep trying to find something to give the same feeling and just having to accept nothing ever will. Head keeps saying I could just go to the shop and buy a bottle and no one would know but ID know! And I'm too honest and would tell people. I know I'd hate myself after and feel so ashamed and I can't let myself or my parents and daughter down and that's why I'm not going to...no way. Just craving so so badly though and hate this. Had some really good days and then it just comes back so strong and just so angry at myself that I can't just have a drink like most people can. Sorry for sounding so sorry for myself but just been sat here and dont know what to do with myself. Xx

Gilmer

I'm so sorry, Jadedgirl. Dirinking would only make it worse tomorrow: it wouldn't end up as just one bottle.

newhope01

Hey JadedGirl,
As a cat lover myself I understand why you feel so bad. As others have stated, cats should be indoors but I know that is not going to give you a lot solace.

You feel bad because you are a kind human being with real emotions with the most benevolent of intentions. You demonstrated that by taking the time to get out of your vehicle find the home and explaining the awful experience to them. Of course you will feel bad, thats normal! Just don't think you are an awful person or that there was something more you can do.

Please forgive yourself. Maybe it will help if you spend some time at a shelter helping cats in need?

Jupiters

JG - so sorry that happened. You are nicer than a lot of people! some people would have just kept going like nothing happened - but you, you went to the door and told the owner what happened
It is not your fault - not in any way, shape or form. DO NOT beat yourself up over this. It was a very unfortunate accident
*HUGS HUGS HUGS*

and also - it wouldn't just be one bottle. come on now. It wouldn't end at one.

Carlotta

Just giving you a hug (())
It is very difficult for us not to resort to drinking to numb ourselves when bad things happen but it is doable. Picking up that drink will not bring back that cat. It is sad but it was an accident.
Hang in there, it will get better.

LBrain

as others have already stated... don't drink -

you know this and I applaud you for staying strong this week - it is tough!

I'm proud to know you for not just driving off and leaving that pet unattended. It was out of your control. And it is a testament to your character for how you are dealing with this under such trying times. Well Done!


edit:

Oh yeah, you did nothing horrible. Something horrible happened to you.