happyandfree

I'm so glad you made it through. And you will be so grateful in the morning. What a horrible experience. ..take care of yourself.

360shoes

I'm so sorry JG. That's hard. I'm so glad the shops are closed and hopefully you can rest and get some sleep now.

Here's the thing. Every single kind, compassionate human being would feel exactly how you feel. Whether an alcoholic or not. There isn't a person out there with a heart that wouldn't feel sad and darn near heartbroken over this. I too have hit an animal. It still hurts if I think about it too long even now.

Even though you feel awful, I think you are doing great. You are feeling. And some feelings hurt. Hold on to the fact that you are kind and compassionate. That's a good thing. I'm just sorry it comes in this form. But that's usually how compassion comes. Through pain.

It was an accident. You handled an incredibly difficult and emotional situation with strength and courage. You acted with compassion and caring to both the animal and the owner. And you deserve that same compassion too.

It's okay to be sad.

matilda123

Oh, Jaded Girl I'm so, so sorry. You did such an honorable thing to tell that poor woman what happened. Imagine, she might have wondered for days and/or never known what happened to her pet.

Bad things like this still happen, which is hard. Please do something kind for yourself tonight. A bath, some relaxing meditation. And as an avid pet owner, please do know that if I was this woman I would have been so truly grateful for you coming and telling me what happened.

Sending you support and peaceful thoughts.xo

matilda123

JG, just read through the thread and saw that you made it! That is so tremendous. Good for you. Sleep tight, my friend!

Serenidad

That must have been so sad and hard for you jaded. I'm so sorry for everyone involved. That took a lot of strength to tell the owners & a huge heart to care enough to stop, try to help the kitty & move him to the sidewalk. You are obviously a very loving person. Try not to beat yourself up. It wasn't your fault. (((Big hug)))

INgal

Jaded, I have to tell you, I lost my cat back in October. He was a fabulous cat. He had come to us a stray. His wanderlust knew no bounds and we had To remind ourselves over and over that he would probably get killed either by a car or another large animal. After we lost him we took comfort in knowing that he was a free spirit who couldn't be cooped up in the house. We had to let him be who he was.

My point is that you did nothing wrong and you need to forgive yourself and put this in its place. Deep down the owner knows it too.

Hang in there.

Soberwolf

Really sorry that happened JG it was an accident it wasnt intentional

You done amazing by not drinking well done JG

Esspee

So sorry this happens to you. You were kind enough tell the owners, many wouldn't have.

This was nobody's fault. Cats are one step away from wild and are 'made' to wander - not e cooped up indoors.

I'm glad you got through the rest of the day - carry on hanging in there x

Foolsgold186

Well done on making it through such a horrible night Jaded.

Hope today is a lot better.

L x

Dave36

Waking up tomorrow with a hangover won't change a thing. You'll feel even worse than you do now. You'll regret drinking. If you stay sober when you wake in the morning you will be happy you didn't throw your sobriety away. I see now you made it to closing time and didn't drink. Well done.

ReadyAtLast

This was just an accident, it was no one's fault JG. Forgive yourself. You did the decent thing stopping and notifying the owner.

I also let my cat go outside. We live in the country and it's a normal thing to do here. Of course there are risks. I do understand how you feel. My dog escaped last year and ran under my car. It was a horrendous experience but comfort yourself knowing you did the right thing.

JanieJ

You did good.

I think that the owner should have thanked you for letting her know.

Be proud of yourself, that was a horrible experience.

And you stayed sober through it all. Wow, JG.

Lovesunrises

I'm sorry that happened to you Jaded Girl, but as the others have already said, the owner should not have let the cat run loose in the streets. I am a cat lover, and have always kept my cats indoors. You didn't do anything horrible. It was an accident that you had no control over. You are a very good person...most people probably would have just kept driving and you were kind hearted enough to let the cats owner know what happened. Big Hugs to you!

SoberLeigh

How are you, JadedGirl?

Mikie9

Girl, I had the same thing happen to me once, but it was my own cat who I loved dearly. I was driving down my road and saw him, and he jumped in front of my car.... He was probably trying to "catch me" playful like, not understanding the laws of physics and all

His name was Sylvester, and was the coolest cat I have ever known, but still a cat with limited understanding of what a car is. I drank heavily that night, forgot for awhile, but his grave was still there in the morning and I had to face it all as new again because I drank and had forgotten the night it happened, so twice for me.

Mango blast

JG, thinking of you. No matter what is going on in your life, we're here for you.

Post here, or keep reading. AA meetings are safe and have understanding people who care. You are important. No one ever chooses to be an addict. There is no shame. There is plenty of help. Reaching out for that may be really hard, but you're worth it.

ShootingStar1

I am so so very sorry Jadegirl for this experience. Your good heartedness shows in that you tried to take care of the cat and you notified its owners. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this. That doesn't take away the grief, but it does take away the accountability.

I usually post in Friends and Families since I am not an alcoholic. I noticed that you said several times that you just wished you could have a drink like other people, and I want to say that having a drink would not be my reaction to a terrible incident like this. I would probably want to go to a church and sit quietly in a back row in the silence and spirit, and mourn the death and my unwitting part in it, and pray the cat's spirit onward.

Over the years, I have had many dogs die, and I believe that they go to a happier freer place. I hope this thought may be of some small comfort to you.

ShootingStar1

JadedGirl

Sorry only just got on. Thankyou so much for all the responses. Felt awful that night but I know now it wasn't my fault and I did all I could in the circumstances.
For a number of reasons the last few nights cravings have come back worse than ever. Think the initial being proud of my achievements have worn a bit thin and now it's getting a bit 'same old' ...craving the life I had, the craziness of being drunk and the (false) feeling of freedom it gave me. Trying to finally accept that no matter what I try and do instead nothing is ever gonna give the same feeling and it's accepting that and letting it go. I'm sure everyone has their own similar experiences.
I've sort of felt I've had to stay away from the potential posts of people having a lapse (sorry if that's selfish) but I know it would be too easy to listen to the voice I my head saying 'come on you deserve a little lapse now too'. I've done almost a month and feel I deserve a drink to celebrate. (I know that's crazy and I'm not going to take my crazy heads advice).
Anyway sorry reply been a little longer than I meant. Don't even know if it makes sense.
Did a few meditations tonight and feel a bit more relaxed to come on and post.
Appreciate everyone on here so much. I feel I've found a lovely little family here and just wanted to say ur all amazing xxxxx

Soberwolf

Your amazing JG

JadedGirl

Thankyou Hun :-) you've been 100% supportive since day one and my first post. Million hugs xx