Class of February 2015
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,122
Originally Posted by lilac0721 
It is a miracle that I didn't drink last night. I am supposed to be moving in a month to a new state. My husband has been looking for a house for us to rent. I have been busy looking for a job in the new town, working at my current job, and taking graduate-level classes.
He found a house that seemed promising. Made contact with the alleged owner. Last night when I got home he texted me to let me know he'd wired 800 dollars to her. Not good. She didn't call him last night, as promised. Not good. I looked in the property ownership records of that county and discovered the names of the real owners of the house. My husband got scammed. This isn't the first time he's lost significant amounts of money due to poor decision-making or naiveté.
This caused a lot of fear, anger, and insecurity to well up in me. I thought for a second about drinking and instead got dressed, put on hat, gloves, and headlamp, and went for a brisk walk in the dark. Then journaled, cried, and drank tea. That was my day 2.
Day 3 today.
He found a house that seemed promising. Made contact with the alleged owner. Last night when I got home he texted me to let me know he'd wired 800 dollars to her. Not good. She didn't call him last night, as promised. Not good. I looked in the property ownership records of that county and discovered the names of the real owners of the house. My husband got scammed. This isn't the first time he's lost significant amounts of money due to poor decision-making or naiveté.
This caused a lot of fear, anger, and insecurity to well up in me. I thought for a second about drinking and instead got dressed, put on hat, gloves, and headlamp, and went for a brisk walk in the dark. Then journaled, cried, and drank tea. That was my day 2.
Day 3 today.
What's amazing is that you realized you didn't need to drink over it. Instead you did something very healthy and went for a walk and cried out your emotions. Getting wasted would have made everything so much worse.
Congratulations on day 3 and not letting the actions of other people ruin your sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by thisibelieve
Good morning. It's snowing here, again!! At least not a blizzard this time. It's actually kind of pretty. Ting- love the list writing idea. Serenidad- yes! Totally agree. It amazes me how much I can get accomplished when I'm SOBER. Might be helpful to focus on positives like that. I'm ver grateful to wake up sober, not hungover this am. Spending a little time enjoying my coffee, then a quick visit to the gym. May go stay at the boyfriends apt tonight- he lives about an hr away. I spend too much time alone and it would be good for me to get out of my own head. The only thing I'm worried about is bc I spent last weekend drinking and being a weirdo (not responding to texts etc) he'll question/ tease me about it. I think he knows that I have a drinking problem, I'm just so uncomfortable being honest face to face about it. Truth hurts.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by lilac0721
It is a miracle that I didn't drink last night. I am supposed to be moving in a month to a new state. My husband has been looking for a house for us to rent. I have been busy looking for a job in the new town, working at my current job, and taking graduate-level classes. He found a house that seemed promising. Made contact with the alleged owner. Last night when I got home he texted me to let me know he'd wired 800 dollars to her. Not good. She didn't call him last night, as promised. Not good. I looked in the property ownership records of that county and discovered the names of the real owners of the house. My husband got scammed. This isn't the first time he's lost significant amounts of money due to poor decision-making or naiveté. This caused a lot of fear, anger, and insecurity to well up in me. I thought for a second about drinking and instead got dressed, put on hat, gloves, and headlamp, and went for a brisk walk in the dark. Then journaled, cried, and drank tea. That was my day 2. Day 3 today.
I'm so glad you stayed sober thru that!!! It wouldn't have been worth it to drink! Hang in there! I'm also on Day 3. My last drink was on Feb 2 so my sobriety date is Feb 3!
We can do this!!! :-)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by 1stepup
Hi all, day 7 here, its a beautiful sunny day here, feeling ok not wanting to drink but struggling still with regret and anger at myself- should be buying a vehicle this month but spent all the money on drink and its so hard to get over, wish I could just look forward without looking back hoping I will accept the things I cannot change soon.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Pretty good day 3 here. My last drink was Monday 2/2/15 at around 6:00 p.m. so in about 45 minutes it will be exactly 72 hours without an alcohol or cigarettes. I've been WORKING IT! I've been to 6 AA meetings in 3 days and have been coming here. It's working! I've also been trying to exercise & rest.
I have hope! I have had some drinking "thoughts" today but I just push them out of my head. I'm NOT going back!!!
A group of women approached me at one of my AA meetings today and were so supportive. It's amazing that people that don't even know me care. It feels good to be around people who care and love me until I can love myself again.
I hope you guys are doing well! Don't drink no matter what!!!
I have hope! I have had some drinking "thoughts" today but I just push them out of my head. I'm NOT going back!!!
A group of women approached me at one of my AA meetings today and were so supportive. It's amazing that people that don't even know me care. It feels good to be around people who care and love me until I can love myself again.
I hope you guys are doing well! Don't drink no matter what!!!
Sugar77
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Dublin,Ireland
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by Serenidad
Lol ANewDay! It only took me typing "CRAVINGS SUCK" 916 times for it to go away but it's GONE!
That made me chuckle.Good to see everyone hanging in there and welcome any new members,
Lonelyshadow... what a post!
I've been keeping busy, had a nice lunch out today with my mum and brother. Anxiety has been there alot in the last 24hrs but I recognised it for what it was,and didn't give it any power. Just distracted myself. I was actually watching a TV show with my husband at around 11pm last night when i stood up and said "sorry...I gotta go make banana bread right now"
He was like " Um ok then.... "
Didn't sleep too good and still anxety lurked this morning, think coffee is making it worse so I bought some decaf today.
I've had so many lightbulb moments this week, great reading in the links Dee, soberwolf and soberleigh shared, thanks for those. Reading up on AVRT, urge surfing and meditation and breathing techniques(did some in the car today,to calm myself). All so helpful and really clicking with me, I know i need to change the way I think, rewire the brain so to speak, can't believe it's day 14 tomorrow... Happy dance!
Not been sober this long since 2003! Hang in there guys,feel lucky to be part of such a supportive group. Sorry I can't reply to all individually,too many,but know I read and appreciate all your posts.
Tonight... I'm making brownies!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Mass
Posts: 85
Lilac- so sorry to hear about your situation. I can't even imagine. Big congrats on not drinking though, awesome!
Sugar- brownies sound really good right now. Send some my way? I have no patience for baking.
Craving a lot this afternoon "sure would be nice to have a glass of wine? Just one" but I thought about you guys here, and I played the tape through. "One glass of wine" is me drinking the entire 1.5l bottle, trying to drunkenly cook and wasting perfectly good food (probably giving myself a nice burn from the oven rack) then waking up 2am shaking with anxiety and hating myself.
I realized I'm just bored, and hungry! Had some snacks and made some fried eggs, toast and steamed veg for dinner. I feel much better now.
Didnt get to see the bf today, he worked 3rd shift last night and has been sleeping all day.
Life is boring, but I'm sober.
Sugar- brownies sound really good right now. Send some my way? I have no patience for baking.
Craving a lot this afternoon "sure would be nice to have a glass of wine? Just one" but I thought about you guys here, and I played the tape through. "One glass of wine" is me drinking the entire 1.5l bottle, trying to drunkenly cook and wasting perfectly good food (probably giving myself a nice burn from the oven rack) then waking up 2am shaking with anxiety and hating myself.
I realized I'm just bored, and hungry! Had some snacks and made some fried eggs, toast and steamed veg for dinner. I feel much better now.
Didnt get to see the bf today, he worked 3rd shift last night and has been sleeping all day.
Life is boring, but I'm sober.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Canberra Australia
Posts: 191
Day 5 and feeling great. Can't remember last time I slept through the night. Weekend coming up so I have to block out that AV that you all talk about. In the past, at this stage, he would say 'I'm proud of you, you deserve a drink' Sneaky bastard!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 106
Lilac! That's horrible. Power to you for sobering on!
I almost find it easier to not drink over bad stuff then drinking over good stuff. When all is good it's easier for me to pick up a drink because my guard is down. When bad stuff happens I'm more inclined to fight the AV.
Saying that....
Made it day 5!
But here comes the weekend...
My friend just called and said
Do want to come out tonight? Get the babysitter and we will go get massages, go to dinner then go watch some jazz at this club with some lovely fun people I just met. We can get a little motel room so we don't have to drive home and can sleep in without kids.
Me: oh that sounds fun!
Then I remembered that I wasn't drinking and thought I would last until dinner before I succumbed to the booze.
It's hard to say no to such invitations but I know I can't kick cravings in that environment.
Looks like TV chocolate and bed instead.
Need to hold onto the thought of a fresh Saturday morning hangout with my kids doing things they want to do instead of nursing a hangover and just meeting their needs.
Grrr weekends are a bit scary....
--------------------------------------------------- "Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a day without any new mistakes in it yet?" Anne of Green Gables.-
I almost find it easier to not drink over bad stuff then drinking over good stuff. When all is good it's easier for me to pick up a drink because my guard is down. When bad stuff happens I'm more inclined to fight the AV.
Saying that....
Made it day 5!
But here comes the weekend...
My friend just called and said
Do want to come out tonight? Get the babysitter and we will go get massages, go to dinner then go watch some jazz at this club with some lovely fun people I just met. We can get a little motel room so we don't have to drive home and can sleep in without kids.
Me: oh that sounds fun!
Then I remembered that I wasn't drinking and thought I would last until dinner before I succumbed to the booze.
It's hard to say no to such invitations but I know I can't kick cravings in that environment.
Looks like TV chocolate and bed instead.
Need to hold onto the thought of a fresh Saturday morning hangout with my kids doing things they want to do instead of nursing a hangover and just meeting their needs.
Grrr weekends are a bit scary....
--------------------------------------------------- "Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a day without any new mistakes in it yet?" Anne of Green Gables.-
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Day 3 completed. The morning was ok, but I had a very stressful afternoon (family drama ).
I practiced breathing exercises and affirmations. At around 2pm things were really stressful. I went for a 30 minute walk...under the freezing rain! I think between the fresh air and having to be very careful not to step on ice, it got me completely distracted from the cravings. Actually I came home soaking wet but feeling great!
In the evening I had my first real meal in ages (steamed chicken and veggies).
Now I'm getting ready for a nice long shower.
Life is good
I practiced breathing exercises and affirmations. At around 2pm things were really stressful. I went for a 30 minute walk...under the freezing rain! I think between the fresh air and having to be very careful not to step on ice, it got me completely distracted from the cravings. Actually I came home soaking wet but feeling great!
In the evening I had my first real meal in ages (steamed chicken and veggies).
Now I'm getting ready for a nice long shower.
Life is good
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by Sugar77
That made me chuckle. Good to see everyone hanging in there and welcome any new members, Lonelyshadow... what a post! I've been keeping busy, had a nice lunch out today with my mum and brother. Anxiety has been there alot in the last 24hrs but I recognised it for what it was,and didn't give it any power. Just distracted myself. I was actually watching a TV show with my husband at around 11pm last night when i stood up and said "sorry...I gotta go make banana bread right now" He was like " Um ok then.... " Didn't sleep too good and still anxety lurked this morning, think coffee is making it worse so I bought some decaf today. I've had so many lightbulb moments this week, great reading in the links Dee, soberwolf and soberleigh shared, thanks for those. Reading up on AVRT, urge surfing and meditation and breathing techniques(did some in the car today,to calm myself). All so helpful and really clicking with me, I know i need to change the way I think, rewire the brain so to speak, can't believe it's day 14 tomorrow... Happy dance! Not been sober this long since 2003! Hang in there guys,feel lucky to be part of such a supportive group. Sorry I can't reply to all individually,too many,but know I read and appreciate all your posts. Tonight... I'm making brownies!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by 1stepup
Evening class, made it to 1week sober tonight, got to AA meeting and am starting to feel gratitude for being sober. Keep going everyone.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by thisibelieve
Lilac- so sorry to hear about your situation. I can't even imagine. Big congrats on not drinking though, awesome! Sugar- brownies sound really good right now. Send some my way? I have no patience for baking. Craving a lot this afternoon "sure would be nice to have a glass of wine? Just one" but I thought about you guys here, and I played the tape through. "One glass of wine" is me drinking the entire 1.5l bottle, trying to drunkenly cook and wasting perfectly good food (probably giving myself a nice burn from the oven rack) then waking up 2am shaking with anxiety and hating myself. I realized I'm just bored, and hungry! Had some snacks and made some fried eggs, toast and steamed veg for dinner. I feel much better now. Didnt get to see the bf today, he worked 3rd shift last night and has been sleeping all day. Life is boring, but I'm sober.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by lastchance77
Day 5 and feeling great. Can't remember last time I slept through the night. Weekend coming up so I have to block out that AV that you all talk about. In the past, at this stage, he would say 'I'm proud of you, you deserve a drink' Sneaky bastard!
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