Back to where I was
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
I dunno about you cauliflower but I drank for years...it's gonna take a little time for you not to obsess about drinking/not drinking.
You will tho
Everyone has a head full of what ifs...the truth is you deal with things as they come up....it might seem overwhelming now but lasting recovery is achievable.
Recovery brings change. Give yourself a little time to relax change and grow a little.
Use all the support you have - you can get through this.
D
You will tho
Everyone has a head full of what ifs...the truth is you deal with things as they come up....it might seem overwhelming now but lasting recovery is achievable.
Recovery brings change. Give yourself a little time to relax change and grow a little.
Use all the support you have - you can get through this.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
Originally Posted by Charlie117926 
Oh cauliflower I was in that same cycle so long. It was misery. It's easy to forget the misery but the result ends up the same. Sorry for the overuse of the word "misery" but no other word describes that cycle. Stay focused and stay the sober course
It feels good to finally have that weight lifted of my shoulders. Upward and onwards from here!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 55
Just like you, almost
I hear you! That seemed to be my circle of life, drink, hungover, good day, drink, hungover.....
I too haven't said anything to anyone. Maybe it the embarrassment , leaving a door open, not thinking I will make it ( the longest I can remember is 4 days sober
) , not wanting to hear from others (especially coworkers) "I knew it!".
It's only day 3 for me.
You can do this! You had a great practice with 3 months. You've got this.
I too haven't said anything to anyone. Maybe it the embarrassment , leaving a door open, not thinking I will make it ( the longest I can remember is 4 days sober
) , not wanting to hear from others (especially coworkers) "I knew it!". It's only day 3 for me.
You can do this! You had a great practice with 3 months. You've got this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
Originally Posted by ccam1973
Great job on 7 days Cauliflower! The first 7 days was the toughest for me. Just keep your guard up as you move forward.
Way to go!
Way to go!
This morning I was thinking tomorrow, we are going to a fundraising dinner. I know there will be pre-dinner drinks and wine at dinner. I wish I could get out of it, but that is not possible, so I will instead build up my resolve today. I made it through social events last weekend without a drop of alcohol so I know it's possible! I will tell my husband I am not drinking, just so I don't feel any pressure from him. As much as I think I was a closet drinker, I'm pretty darn sure my drinking was effecting our marriage and him, so he will be understanding. We are also attending with new friends, so it will be easier with a clean slate. I won't have any explaining to do, as I would have if we went with the old gang, so to speak. On the other hand, I will have to be a social butterfly sans alcohol! Time to meet the real me. Self discovery is a good thing!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
Originally Posted by Purpleknight
Welcome back Cauliflower!! For me it was all or nothing, no period of abstinence was going to cure or fix me, my relationship with alcohol was always going to be the same and so cutting out that 1st drink on a permanent basis was what I needed to do!! You can do this!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
Originally Posted by Jillian2563
This is exactly how I feel right now. I want to drink so bad but it's all or nothing. It sucks. But I'm determined to not drink today.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
Originally Posted by Cauliflower
Jillian, you can do it. I am still very new at this too, but this time I am more prepared and more determined to never have that first drink. I know that I will never ever have a healthy relationship with alcohol, so I stopped trying. Now I am learning how to have a healthy relationship with myself! And it's a way better journey to be on.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
So here I am day 10!! Not quite my sober record yet,the longest I ever lasted was 14 days , the second time I quit.
So, we went to this dinner last night and there were about 500 or so guests there, the room was set up like a fancy wedding, everyone was dressed up so pretty. Hubby and I went with 2 other couples. The wine was selling by the bottle (it was a fundraiser), and our table purchased two bottles by the end of the evening. I wasn't drinking (obviously!) and I think everyone thought it was because I was driving that evening. The dinner was delicious, the company was fun and the red wine on the table drove me bonkers for about 2 minutes. I found myself watching how everyone was holding their glass, the lovely liquid swirling in its glass, cleansing their palates after every bite. The deal breaker for me was the smell. I never noticed before, but wine stinks! It turned me off. At the end if the evening, when we were getting ready to leave, saying good night to friends and what not, I noticed our table had a half bottle of wine left! Wow, I thought what a waste. the old me would never ever in a million years waste wine like that, I would have gulped that back pretty quick! Have you ever chugged wine? Not very classy at all. I used to love events like this, just so I could find some wine loving friends and drink away guilt free. Until the next day...the wine headaches are the worst, and I noticed my hangovers as of late were unbareable.
So that's it, I survived a fancy dinner with red wine being the entertainment and I did so well. Surprisingly, I was able to have a decent conversation, and I really enjoyed myself. Back in the old days...more like two weeks ago, I would have become self conscious of my slurry speech , and being unable to stay focused and on topic, I would have just clammed up and sat back in my resentful little wine bubble. So pathetic.
Today I went grocery shopping and decided that I would stock up on lovely sparkling waters and non- alcoholic beer. Summer weather has arrived in my neck of the woods, and I do love a cold beer and clamato every once in a while! Just like the good ole days, I planned for drinks on the deck! Just this time, I will be remain sober and healthy. Its all about planning people, put as much effort into your recovery ad you did trying to stay numb and drunk.
So, we went to this dinner last night and there were about 500 or so guests there, the room was set up like a fancy wedding, everyone was dressed up so pretty. Hubby and I went with 2 other couples. The wine was selling by the bottle (it was a fundraiser), and our table purchased two bottles by the end of the evening. I wasn't drinking (obviously!) and I think everyone thought it was because I was driving that evening. The dinner was delicious, the company was fun and the red wine on the table drove me bonkers for about 2 minutes. I found myself watching how everyone was holding their glass, the lovely liquid swirling in its glass, cleansing their palates after every bite. The deal breaker for me was the smell. I never noticed before, but wine stinks! It turned me off. At the end if the evening, when we were getting ready to leave, saying good night to friends and what not, I noticed our table had a half bottle of wine left! Wow, I thought what a waste. the old me would never ever in a million years waste wine like that, I would have gulped that back pretty quick! Have you ever chugged wine? Not very classy at all. I used to love events like this, just so I could find some wine loving friends and drink away guilt free. Until the next day...the wine headaches are the worst, and I noticed my hangovers as of late were unbareable.
So that's it, I survived a fancy dinner with red wine being the entertainment and I did so well. Surprisingly, I was able to have a decent conversation, and I really enjoyed myself. Back in the old days...more like two weeks ago, I would have become self conscious of my slurry speech , and being unable to stay focused and on topic, I would have just clammed up and sat back in my resentful little wine bubble. So pathetic.
Today I went grocery shopping and decided that I would stock up on lovely sparkling waters and non- alcoholic beer. Summer weather has arrived in my neck of the woods, and I do love a cold beer and clamato every once in a while! Just like the good ole days, I planned for drinks on the deck! Just this time, I will be remain sober and healthy. Its all about planning people, put as much effort into your recovery ad you did trying to stay numb and drunk.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
Monday again! This means I made it through not one, but two sober weekends!
Today is a new week, and I decided to get off my butt and tackle some things that I have been putting off. Procrastination was my middle name and I am changing it today. I am changing it to Productivity! I've been listening to Joel Osteen these last few months, (I am not religious in any way, but I am a spiritual person), and what he says always, always makes sense to me. Well, today on the radio he was talking about No More Excuses. Very fitting for my mood!
You would not believe how many self help books, how many meditations I have on my little mp3 player, how many rah-rah motivational recordings I have downloaded over the last 3 years. I have acquired quite the library of self help, you would think I would be the Prime Minister of Canada today. But, nothing worked for me because of that lie I carried around. The one thing holding me back was alcohol, and I knew it! But I denied it. I denied it for so long, so long that it was wearing on my soul and my well being.
It feels good to finally accept the problem was alcohol, and to shake it off for good! Thank you SR and to all that post and read here. I would not be where I am mentally if it wasn't for this site. I am now going to re-read many of these books and listen to the recordings with a renewed sense of well being. Can’t wait to become PM! Ha ha
Today is a new week, and I decided to get off my butt and tackle some things that I have been putting off. Procrastination was my middle name and I am changing it today. I am changing it to Productivity! I've been listening to Joel Osteen these last few months, (I am not religious in any way, but I am a spiritual person), and what he says always, always makes sense to me. Well, today on the radio he was talking about No More Excuses. Very fitting for my mood!
You would not believe how many self help books, how many meditations I have on my little mp3 player, how many rah-rah motivational recordings I have downloaded over the last 3 years. I have acquired quite the library of self help, you would think I would be the Prime Minister of Canada today. But, nothing worked for me because of that lie I carried around. The one thing holding me back was alcohol, and I knew it! But I denied it. I denied it for so long, so long that it was wearing on my soul and my well being.
It feels good to finally accept the problem was alcohol, and to shake it off for good! Thank you SR and to all that post and read here. I would not be where I am mentally if it wasn't for this site. I am now going to re-read many of these books and listen to the recordings with a renewed sense of well being. Can’t wait to become PM! Ha ha
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 351
Good going Cauliflower.
I stopped drinking late last year, and it's only now I'm realizing how the way I was living was like driving with the handbrake on. With a fairly sizable self help book collection weighing the trunk down too
The relief and shock when I realized were both staggering.
I stopped drinking late last year, and it's only now I'm realizing how the way I was living was like driving with the handbrake on. With a fairly sizable self help book collection weighing the trunk down too
The relief and shock when I realized were both staggering.
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