Struggling
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by Foolsgold186 
The most important thing a mum does is look after their children (and themselves) to be able to.
When I first sobered, I struggled with some relapses. When the day came that I realized I wanted sobriety more than anything, I realized that I could not protect my sobriety if I remained in the toxic situation I was in.
I can't tell you all that I endured over 4 years ..the pain and anguish in that toxic situation. "I" was not enough to get myself out of that situation. I didn't see my pain as any sort of deterrent...as an indicator, that something wasn't right...that I needed to protect ME.
Sobriety was worth protecting. To this day it makes me shake my head...I take far better care of my "sobriety" it seems than I ever took of me. The lovely thing is..and this is the mindtrick...
Taking care of my sobriety...is taking care of me...as well as everything else I hold dear in my world (Shhhh......I try not to say that too loud around my low self worth though : ).
Take care of your sobriety...everything else will fall in place
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 780
Originally Posted by Nuudawn
Now this may sound a bit cuckoo...but I know it is difficult to bend your brain around being able to care for something properly, when you struggle to care for yourself. But believe me, people do it all the time (see: codependency : )
When I first sobered, I struggled with some relapses. When the day came that I realized I wanted sobriety more than anything, I realized that I could not protect my sobriety if I remained in the toxic situation I was in.
I can't tell you all that I endured over 4 years ..the pain and anguish in that toxic situation. "I" was not enough to get myself out of that situation. I didn't see my pain as any sort of deterrent...as an indicator, that something wasn't right...that I needed to protect ME.
Sobriety was worth protecting. To this day it makes me shake my head...I take far better care of my "sobriety" it seems than I ever took of me. The lovely thing is..and this is the mindtrick...
Taking care of my sobriety...is taking care of me...as well as everything else I hold dear in my world (Shhhh......I try not to say that too loud around my low self worth though : ).
Take care of your sobriety...everything else will fall in place
When I first sobered, I struggled with some relapses. When the day came that I realized I wanted sobriety more than anything, I realized that I could not protect my sobriety if I remained in the toxic situation I was in.
I can't tell you all that I endured over 4 years ..the pain and anguish in that toxic situation. "I" was not enough to get myself out of that situation. I didn't see my pain as any sort of deterrent...as an indicator, that something wasn't right...that I needed to protect ME.
Sobriety was worth protecting. To this day it makes me shake my head...I take far better care of my "sobriety" it seems than I ever took of me. The lovely thing is..and this is the mindtrick...
Taking care of my sobriety...is taking care of me...as well as everything else I hold dear in my world (Shhhh......I try not to say that too loud around my low self worth though : ).
Take care of your sobriety...everything else will fall in place
Take care of my sobriety, to take care of myself to take care of everything else
Something I've never truly thought about and I thank you for that.
Not caring about myself for so long I guess has had a deep impact on me long term and I worry constantly about letting everyone else down, that the eternal drunk in me will never amount to much, when inside I'm fighing with all I have to get through each day to be a better person for my baby.
To thank you all seems so small when your words are helping more than you will all ever know.
L x
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Do you promise us all you will keep posting here?
Especially when you are having thoughts like the ones you are having now?
The other thing I did forget to mention was now when I look back, I wish I had dedicated more time to recovery while I was pregnant because when my daughter came it was full on and there was little time spare.
I don't know if you are doing AA or other meetings. Just coming here or anything else - NHS, therapy etc. However becoming a mum is fabulous, but for me the first six months were hard, really hard. Little sleep, your life and house is upside down, you don't have the same freedom, your body does strange things and looks strange too!! I also realised how little I knew about babies and I was 36 for heavens sake!
I suppose what I am trying to say is if it was my time again, and I knew now what I did then, I would get myself rock solid in not drinking and also as emotionally well and strong as I could be.
You probably know best what works for you - AA, friendships, SR, SMART etc - but if it were me again, I would make sure I used all the resources I had while I was pregnant to get myself in the best frame of mind I could before my baby came along.
I'm always here hun.
We can talk whatever you want when you want - best prams, not boozing, birth plans, whatever you need!! xx
Especially when you are having thoughts like the ones you are having now?
The other thing I did forget to mention was now when I look back, I wish I had dedicated more time to recovery while I was pregnant because when my daughter came it was full on and there was little time spare.
I don't know if you are doing AA or other meetings. Just coming here or anything else - NHS, therapy etc. However becoming a mum is fabulous, but for me the first six months were hard, really hard. Little sleep, your life and house is upside down, you don't have the same freedom, your body does strange things and looks strange too!! I also realised how little I knew about babies and I was 36 for heavens sake!
I suppose what I am trying to say is if it was my time again, and I knew now what I did then, I would get myself rock solid in not drinking and also as emotionally well and strong as I could be.
You probably know best what works for you - AA, friendships, SR, SMART etc - but if it were me again, I would make sure I used all the resources I had while I was pregnant to get myself in the best frame of mind I could before my baby came along.
I'm always here hun.
We can talk whatever you want when you want - best prams, not boozing, birth plans, whatever you need!! xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 780
Originally Posted by Sasha4
Do you promise us all you will keep posting here? Especially when you are having thoughts like the ones you are having now? The other thing I did forget to mention was now when I look back, I wish I had dedicated more time to recovery while I was pregnant because when my daughter came it was full on and there was little time spare. I don't know if you are doing AA or other meetings. Just coming here or anything else - NHS, therapy etc. However becoming a mum is fabulous, but for me the first six months were hard, really hard. Little sleep, your life and house is upside down, you don't have the same freedom, your body does strange things and looks strange too!! I also realised how little I knew about babies and I was 36 for heavens sake! I suppose what I am trying to say is if it was my time again, and I knew now what I did then, I would get myself rock solid in not drinking and also as emotionally well and strong as I could be. You probably know best what works for you - AA, friendships, SR, SMART etc - but if it were me again, I would make sure I used all the resources I had while I was pregnant to get myself in the best frame of mind I could before my baby came along. I'm always here hun. We can talk whatever you want when you want - best prams, not boozing, birth plans, whatever you need!! xx
I'll do whatever i can to get well.
Thank you so much sasha. It's nice speaking to people who know exactly how I feel. The relief knowing I'm not alone is such a comfort.
L x x
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